Just For Kicks And Giggles Thread!
Since We're On The Topic Of Ass...A Letter from Wayne...
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
were younger. When you notice this, try to show some understanding.
My name is Wayne, and let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Beverly.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Bev to get a full
time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the
health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her
age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says
she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't
yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when
she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at
the country club, so eating out again at night is not reasonable. I'm
ready for some home-cooking when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do
what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that
the dishes won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as
it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it
is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her
lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile
and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even
three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her
that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you
know what I mean).
I like to think that this is one of my strong points. When doing simple
jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a
break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a
scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice , big, cold glass
of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And while she is
getting herself one, she might as well get one for me, too --- or just
bring me a cold beer in a frosted mug.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bev, and I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older, but, guys,
even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
wife because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was well
worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other?
Signed, Wayne
Please Note:
Wayne died tragically on March 1st of a perforated rectum. The police
report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha
Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing and with a sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife Beverly was
arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes
to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Wayne
somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
