C
colbb123
Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung
Carl Jung
- Status
C
colbb123
Time's fun when you're having flies. 
C
colbb123
A woman is like a tea bag.
You never know how strong she is
until you put her in hot water.
You never know how strong she is
until you put her in hot water.
C
colbb123
not really a quote but..
A search on Thesaurus.com for Ninja's gave the following result.
"Ninjas can not be found"
Hardy har har.......
A search on Thesaurus.com for Ninja's gave the following result.
"Ninjas can not be found"
Hardy har har.......
- Points
- 32
Some days you will be the pigeon and
other days you will be the statue.
other days you will be the statue.
- Points
- 32
If you think life is bad...
How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with at least 11 other guys.
But worst of all....
The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.
How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with at least 11 other guys.
But worst of all....
The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.
C
colbb123
thought there'd be a few cheeky comments on this one hehe. Good thing we are all so mature pfft ....lol
- Points
- 56
Every experience is only as real as all other experiences including the forgotten ones in the background collecting dust. *
It is the energy of focus that brings *each experience to life. *Like a dusty old painting can be cleaned restored and *be glorified by spotlights in a gallery.
Take care in what you focus on.
It is the energy of focus that brings *each experience to life. *Like a dusty old painting can be cleaned restored and *be glorified by spotlights in a gallery.
Take care in what you focus on.
C
colbb123
A bad attitude is like a flat tyre.
Very slow bumpy ride ahead unless you change it.
...'some dude on FB'.
Very slow bumpy ride ahead unless you change it.
...'some dude on FB'.
C
colbb123
if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Now I used to love pondering this notion. Will admit to being disappointed one day in my physics class when I had an 'Aha moment' (tm Oprah) and realised the simple answer / explanation...lol Correct me if I'm wrong here but my understanding is this...
...Yes the impact from the tree hitting the ground causes the vibration or sound wave. The energy of the sound wave travels through it's medium (air) in all directions as it normally would. Any device capable of receiving and interpreting this energy as 'sound' (sound recorder, human ear etc) would do so, but in this scenario there are no such devices. To sum up, nothing, including falling trees 'makes sound', they can simply transform potential (stored) energy in to kinetic energy. Kinetic energy which causes enough vibration to be detected by the human ear is what we refer to as 'sound'.
....I liked the mystery
Now I used to love pondering this notion. Will admit to being disappointed one day in my physics class when I had an 'Aha moment' (tm Oprah) and realised the simple answer / explanation...lol
Correct me if I'm wrong here but my understanding is this......Yes the impact from the tree hitting the ground causes the vibration or sound wave. The energy of the sound wave travels through it's medium (air) in all directions as it normally would. Any device capable of receiving and interpreting this energy as 'sound' (sound recorder, human ear etc) would do so, but in this scenario there are no such devices. To sum up, nothing, including falling trees 'makes sound', they can simply transform potential (stored) energy in to kinetic energy. Kinetic energy which causes enough vibration to be detected by the human ear is what we refer to as 'sound'.
....I liked the mystery
C
colbb123
....and no one hears anything about me eating it.....unless it's the last piece, in which case I hear all about it. Yes those sounds are very audible.
L
Langtrees VIP Perth 4
Boob Humour
Last edited by a moderator:
L
Langtrees VIP Perth 4
Penis Humour
L
Langtrees VIP Perth 4
Sex Humour
L
Langtrees VIP Perth 4
Condom Humour
T
Tania Admin
Re: Sex Humour
lol Funny As!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:laughing4
lol Funny As!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:laughing4
- Points
- 0
Re: Sex Humour
Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0b?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget..
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's willy last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0b?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget..
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's willy last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
L
Langtrees VIP Perth 4
Re: Sex Humour
Very very funny Inquisitive.
I'll be laughing for a while!!!
Very very funny Inquisitive.
I'll be laughing for a while!!!
- Points
- 959
Re: JOKES!!!
I like the Irish one I wonder what ever happened to the pink poodle.
I like the Irish one I wonder what ever happened to the pink poodle.
tige640
Silver Member
- Points
- 0
Re: JOKES!!!
Michael and Susie got married in California
They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Michael's Mom and Dad's house in Corner Brook for their first married night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Michael's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Michael and Susie are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Michael and Susie up
yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Michael and Susie up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'
He says: 'Last night Michael came to my room for the Vaseline and I think....I gave him my model airplane glue.'
Michael and Susie got married in California
They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Michael's Mom and Dad's house in Corner Brook for their first married night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Michael's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Michael and Susie are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Michael and Susie up
yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Michael and Susie up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'
He says: 'Last night Michael came to my room for the Vaseline and I think....I gave him my model airplane glue.'
tige640
Silver Member
- Points
- 0
Re: JOKES!!!
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers,
'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration.'
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers,
'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes - the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration.'
B
Beyond
Re: JOKES!!!
Haha heard it heaps always funny
Haha heard it heaps always funny
- Points
- 32
A joke for everyone...
I`ld like to share a joke I heard the other day, but sadly I can`t.
It seems we are no longer able to tell jokes that mention race, gender, age, sexual preference, religion, animals, drugs, alcohol, hair colour etc without upsetting some ethics board somewhere. :nono:olice:
Has the worlds best medicine "LAUGHTER" been taken off the shelves?
Have we all become so serious that we forget to smile??
Q. Who can tell me why the piece of wood cross the road??
A. To get to the other side.
Not that funny is it?
I`ld like to share a joke I heard the other day, but sadly I can`t.
It seems we are no longer able to tell jokes that mention race, gender, age, sexual preference, religion, animals, drugs, alcohol, hair colour etc without upsetting some ethics board somewhere. :nono:
olice:Has the worlds best medicine "LAUGHTER" been taken off the shelves?
Have we all become so serious that we forget to smile??
Q. Who can tell me why the piece of wood cross the road??
A. To get to the other side.
Not that funny is it?
F
Farm Boy
Re: A joke for everyone...
I hope this is not about illegal clearing of native vegetation or importing non certified rainforest product's.
I hope this is not about illegal clearing of native vegetation or importing non certified rainforest product's.
- Points
- 32
Re: A joke for everyone...
OK... I`m bored so let me tell my joke since it`s ok to humour a piece of wood...
Q. Why did the piece of wood cross the road??
A. Because it was jealous of the brick that was about to get laid.
OK... I`m bored so let me tell my joke since it`s ok to humour a piece of wood...
Q. Why did the piece of wood cross the road??
A. Because it was jealous of the brick that was about to get laid.
- Status