V
Vyxxxn
...so did I...PMSL actually 
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L
lana
When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?
Lana
But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?
Lana
V
Vyxxxn
J
Jentleman Jim
Another oldy
People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at
the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the
front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away
from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one
elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming
oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all
eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid
of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 44 years."
People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at
the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the
front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away
from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one
elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming
oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all
eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid
of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 44 years."
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NortiGal
Hilarious Michael Jackson Parody
http://toccionline.kizash.com/films/1001/139/
Its a big flash animation, so if yr on dial up it will take a while.
http://toccionline.kizash.com/films/1001/139/
Its a big flash animation, so if yr on dial up it will take a while.
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The Pope May he Rest in Peace
I liked this is no disrespect to the pope www.kizash.com/films/1001/141
I liked this is no disrespect to the pope www.kizash.com/films/1001/141
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Seduction
Your link isnt working waxen.
I cant believe hes dead talk about a shock!! wonder if the next pope will be near on 80 lol
I cant believe hes dead talk about a shock!! wonder if the next pope will be near on 80 lol
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BigMike
Seduction said:
just for what it worth any one 80 or above can not be elected the Pope.
Cheers
BigM
M
melly bear
well found Waxenboy!!
MB xx
MB xx
T
twowheels
Some people have nothing better to do with their time.....Honestly;D
All things said, it is quite funny and not disrespectful in the least, and as this topic has been raised I'd like to say the following;
In the words of U2's Bono "POPE John Paul II was the "best front man" the Roman Catholic Church ever had".
He was an inspiration, a man of extraordinary faith, dignity and courage. He never wavered, never flinched, in the struggle for what he thought was good and right and never let the fight defeat him.
On Friday this week around about 7pm WAST take a minute to reflect on the importance of faith, and hope and remember the legacy that this simple man from Poland has left us.
All things said, it is quite funny and not disrespectful in the least, and as this topic has been raised I'd like to say the following;
In the words of U2's Bono "POPE John Paul II was the "best front man" the Roman Catholic Church ever had".
He was an inspiration, a man of extraordinary faith, dignity and courage. He never wavered, never flinched, in the struggle for what he thought was good and right and never let the fight defeat him.
On Friday this week around about 7pm WAST take a minute to reflect on the importance of faith, and hope and remember the legacy that this simple man from Poland has left us.
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Pukka the reason i have time is i work every second week im on afternoons.I get up early and do the household chores.pukka said:
Please do not talk religon with me ive been though enough to know what im talking about.
The pope was a great man to many.
I believe in god and i do not have to go to church to believe in him.!
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The reason i don't talk against the big man upstairs is because he's been looking after me all my life and this why:
When i was born iwas only 40cm long and did not breathe for 5mins so ive got abit of brain damage plus i was born deaf until 4.
The bone in the roof of my mouth was blocking of my nasal passage so stuff from my nose was going into my ears.When iwas 3and a half the doctors put a steel bar in my mouth and every night dad would tighten it so it would move the bone,it was in there for 6months,ate through hungry jacks straws.Then one night they heard me scream and the bone had dropped dad could put his finger in btween the bar and the roof of my mouth.Then my cousin sat on me in the bath and all the stuff from my ears flowed out and then on i could hear.
So that is why i do not disrespect the big fella upstairs.Im sorry if this puts anybody on a downer but i had to say something. :hello:
When i was born iwas only 40cm long and did not breathe for 5mins so ive got abit of brain damage plus i was born deaf until 4.
The bone in the roof of my mouth was blocking of my nasal passage so stuff from my nose was going into my ears.When iwas 3and a half the doctors put a steel bar in my mouth and every night dad would tighten it so it would move the bone,it was in there for 6months,ate through hungry jacks straws.Then one night they heard me scream and the bone had dropped dad could put his finger in btween the bar and the roof of my mouth.Then my cousin sat on me in the bath and all the stuff from my ears flowed out and then on i could hear.
So that is why i do not disrespect the big fella upstairs.Im sorry if this puts anybody on a downer but i had to say something. :hello:
M
MASTER WIZARD
Re:deceased roman Pontif
Greetings All,
While most may sing his praises, could I suggest that this one man,through his opposition to the use of condoms is responsible for the greatest spread of HIV/AIDS, than any other person.
He carried on the roman-catholic tradition of causing, pain and suffering to tens of thousands of people, with the decree of "papal infallibility", the teaching of "Do it My Way...or die"
Greetings All,
While most may sing his praises, could I suggest that this one man,through his opposition to the use of condoms is responsible for the greatest spread of HIV/AIDS, than any other person.
He carried on the roman-catholic tradition of causing, pain and suffering to tens of thousands of people, with the decree of "papal infallibility", the teaching of "Do it My Way...or die"
T
twowheels
All I asked was for a bit of respect, and even that cannot be done. Phew................
This particular forum is "The Pope may he rest in peace", I do not extropolate my views on your spiriality or sexual orientations, nor would you want me to, so may I suggest that you choose the same line.
I may not practice the teachings, nor am I a devote Catholic, but I would disagree that HIV was spread because of the Church's stance, HIV is not discriminate of race or religion. The biggest cause of the spread is the arrogant, self important stance the aggrieved (Condon wearing) gay community has, and it protests harrassment and the need for sexual freedom, yet discriminates and dispenses it's offensive and immoral activities on the world.
Most religions state the following edict;
- Sex is for procreation
So leave the religion alone and respect the man for what he did achieve.............
This particular forum is "The Pope may he rest in peace", I do not extropolate my views on your spiriality or sexual orientations, nor would you want me to, so may I suggest that you choose the same line.
I may not practice the teachings, nor am I a devote Catholic, but I would disagree that HIV was spread because of the Church's stance, HIV is not discriminate of race or religion. The biggest cause of the spread is the arrogant, self important stance the aggrieved (Condon wearing) gay community has, and it protests harrassment and the need for sexual freedom, yet discriminates and dispenses it's offensive and immoral activities on the world.
Most religions state the following edict;
- Sex is for procreation
So leave the religion alone and respect the man for what he did achieve.............
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BigMike
Hi Guys,
I think this topic is a little devicive. If not against the rukles of the forum it is certainly against the spirit of the forums.
Each of us is entitled to worship our own god who ever he or she may be. Each of us is entitled to thier own view of creation. We should be able to do so in peace and with respect.
Can I with respect to the expression of the views of free speech request that we let this thread die a natural death.
BigM
I think this topic is a little devicive. If not against the rukles of the forum it is certainly against the spirit of the forums.
Each of us is entitled to worship our own god who ever he or she may be. Each of us is entitled to thier own view of creation. We should be able to do so in peace and with respect.
Can I with respect to the expression of the views of free speech request that we let this thread die a natural death.
BigM
M
melly bear
Relax Waxenboy,waxenboy said:
I'm fairly confident that Pucka's response was not pointed in your direction. You didn't offend anyone, you started this thread and I for one think it was a nice thing to do. In fact you've even shared a great deal about yourself and we all respect you very much for doing so.
Smile, it looks much better than the frown I know you're carrying at the moment!!!
MB xx
W
Wildcat
any wittle wabbits hewe???
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and
asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or
maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
She in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet
voice, "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a phuck!"
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and
asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or
maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
She in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet
voice, "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a phuck!"
T
twowheels
No probs, you did not offend me at all, as stated in the thread, it was your post and I wished to pay my respect to this fellow human being, that I was lucky enough to get close to.melly bear said:
I'm feel honoured that you shared all that with the forum and I, it is good to be truly honest with your feelings, I respect you for that.
Agreed, the subject matter should be put to bed, unless others wish to pay their respect.
P
PinkPoodle
The Ballerina
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting in the bar and asked,
"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the bar and bellowed,
"Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked,
"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said,
"I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
"As far as I'm concerned," the drunk replied, "Any woman that can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting in the bar and asked,
"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the bar and bellowed,
"Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked,
"What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said,
"I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
"As far as I'm concerned," the drunk replied, "Any woman that can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
P
PinkPoodle
Sunday Sermon
A minister decided that visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday Sermon.
Four worms are placed in separate jars.
The first worm was put in a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following:
The first worm in alcohol.......dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke......dead.
Third worm in sperm.......dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil......Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation,
"What can you learn from this demonstration?"
A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smoke, and have sex, you won't have worms".
A minister decided that visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday Sermon.
Four worms are placed in separate jars.
The first worm was put in a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following:
The first worm in alcohol.......dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke......dead.
Third worm in sperm.......dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil......Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation,
"What can you learn from this demonstration?"
A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smoke, and have sex, you won't have worms".
P
PinkPoodle
The Five Secrets Of A Perfect Relationship
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. it's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.
5. It's very important that these four women don't know each other.
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. it's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.
5. It's very important that these four women don't know each other.
V
Vyxxxn
M
Mary Anne PA
great jokes coming up....
keep it up guys... lol
and good for you pink poodle, your doing great on here...
think it's terriffic....
keep it up guys... lol
and good for you pink poodle, your doing great on here...
think it's terriffic....
V
Vyxxxn
TicTocTicTo....
For those of you which like clox here is a page fulla online ones
HERE IS THE LINKY
HERE IS THE LINKY
T
teneil
A penis and ball discussion
A penis says to his balls "alright lads get ready and i'll take you to a party" the balls reply " your f...in liar you always go inside and we get bashed by some cunt".
A penis says to his balls "alright lads get ready and i'll take you to a party" the balls reply " your f...in liar you always go inside and we get bashed by some cunt".
N
naughtybuttnice
Funny
;D I luv that one...Herd it b4 but was good 2 hear it again...
;D I luv that one...Herd it b4 but was good 2 hear it again...
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