Smile

[amandaX]

More jokes

Q Why did the man cross the road?
A He heard the chicken was a slut


Q What do you call a 100kg stripper?
A Broke


Q What has four wheels and flies?
A A garbage truck


Q What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it?
A A hole

 

[miko]

A middle-aged woman went to a K-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special".
Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front a growing crowd of customers.
The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and HE tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming

"PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!"

And doing so draws an even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads "Ma'am, why are you saying that?
In a huff, the woman says,

"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I AM BEING SCREWED!!”

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded.

Miko

 

[Wildcat]

Chinese torture

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient
Chinese man with a long grey beard.
"I am lost" said the young man "can you put me up for the night ?"
"Certainly" the Chinese man said "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man".
"OK" said the young man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night, he could bear it no longer and snuck
into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read:
"Chinese torture 1 : Large rock on chest'
"Well, that's pretty crappy" he thought "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about". He picked the boulder up, walked over to the windows and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read:
'Chinese torture 2 : Rock tied to left testicle'
In a panic, he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the ground that read:

'Chinese torture 3 : Right testicle tied to bedpost'......

 

[PinkPoodle]

Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the man, "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the latest in high powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the lady, "I haven't got any money! I'M BROKE!!!
And she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said, Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

And with that he emptied a bucket of horse shit onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, ......

"Well I hope you've got a pretty good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."

 

[PinkPoodle]

The Glass Eye

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check.

As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.

He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

"Is this yours," he asked.

She said, "Yes could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed.

Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty, Would you like to join me?"

He readily accepted the offer and enjoyed a lovely meal.

As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous
evening. Would you like to stay for the night?"

The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

"No she replied, "Only those who catch my eye."

 

[PinkPoodle]

Three Nuns

There were three nuns on a train and they had been talking for some time when they decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were.

The first nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and become a prostitute. But of course I put all the money I earn into the poor box, but that is my greatest sin."

The second nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money out of the poor box and drink for one consecutive week."

The third nun sitting there was very quiet.

The other nuns say, "Come now, we told you our worst sins, what is yours ?"

The third nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is that I'm a gossip and I can't wait to get off this train."

 

[PinkPoodle]

An Old Soldier

An old soldier was celebrating 82 years on this earth.

He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes," he said, "How are you, toes? You know you are 82 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember when we walked in the park in summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy birthday toes!"

"Hello knees", he continued. "How are you knees? You know you are 82 today. Oh the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade?
Oh the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy birthday knees!

Then he looked at his crotch. "Hello Willy! If you were alive today, you'd be 82 years old."

 

[Wildcat]

Life's little irritations

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and
change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". Hell YES! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course
it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No
tosser, I paid $10 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved"! Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it? If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short." What the Hell?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever does. What can you do that's
longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus
come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, Wanker?

 

[Wildcat]

Politically Correct

Here are some politically correct responses for us all to use ....

We do not get drunk or tipsy .... we get chemically inconvenienced
We do not get horny .... we get sexually focused
We are not two bit whores .... but are low cost providers
We are not sluts .... but are sexually extroverted
We do not have air head moments ... but reality impaired moments
We are not kinky .... we are creative thinkers
We have not been around .... but have previously enjoyed companions
We do not have dumb moments .... but detour off the information highway
We are not screamers or moaners .... we vocally appreciate


:icon_boun :happy6:

 

[Wildcat]

I, the Penis

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases



******************* Reply ***********************

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:


- You do not work 8 hours straight
- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
- You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
- You do not take initiative
- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
- You'll retire well before reaching 65
- You're unable to work double shifts
- You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
completed the day's work
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

 

[lana]

Enjoy!
1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in
pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the
noose.

3. Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practising to be men.

4. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve
Around him.
OR. Three - one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about
The screwing part.

5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath &
calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A.Because not one will stop and ask directions.

8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts

9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

10. Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

11. Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"


Lana

 

[Vyxxxn]

Lana hee hee

Most excellent Lana...love it *she chuckles evilly*

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in
pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

 

[spice-me]

How to impress her on the first date!!!!

OK, Rob and Misty.... it's a tight fit...I know!!!! :evil4:

 

[melly bear]

Pride and Joy

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited* at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company.* He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, he then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became a**Builder*. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
*
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons....What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed.* He's my son and I* love him. And he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
*

 

[melly bear]

For all you Irish Catholics out there

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, Tis I."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Brydie Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

"Was it Mary Catherine Morgan?"

"Me lips are sealed Father."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church for three months. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew.

His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads," says Tommy

 

[DnSPerth]

jokes

: After a horrific car accident a man wakes up in hospital and the doctor tells him, "I'm sorry we had to amputate your arm. The good news is we have attatched a new state of the art bionic arm for you. Now all you have to do is tell your arm what to do and it will do it" The man tries his new arm out and says "Pick up the glass of water on the table" His arm works perfectly and he leaves the hospital, goes home and decides to try bionic wanking. He says to the arm "Put my hand on my cock." The arm does this so the man says"Now pull me off" The bionic arm then rips his dick off of his groin! He screams FUCK ME and the arm takes his dick and shoves it up his arse.

S :cya:

 

[PinkPoodle]

15 Pieces Of Advice To be Passed On

1. Don't imagine you can change a man. - Unless he is in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? - You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon. -
They should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - It's too little to be left out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. - You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same. -
They just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor. -
A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men. -
Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind. - But marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man. - Look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. -
Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in. -
Tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes.-
It means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

 

[KateandGrae]

Rofl

:laughing1 :laughing3 :laughing4
love it

 

[lana]

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan



What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.



What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag



Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.



What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?



Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any



What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.



What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.



What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs



What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes



What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.



Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.



Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.



What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you



What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.



Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.



What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.



What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"



Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.



Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.



Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.



Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."



Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.



Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong



What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.



What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.



What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".



How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!



What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...A southern fairy tale
begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...



Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Lana

 

[lana]

Very Good Spice-me I Love It!!!

Lana

 

[PinkPoodle]

Eulogy

She married and had 6 children.

Her husband died.

She soon married again and had 3 more children.

Again her husband died.

But she remarried and this time had 4 more children.

At last she finally died.

Standing at her coffin, the preacher prayed to the lord above, thanking him, for this lovely woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go Forth And Multiply".

In his eulogy, the preacher said, " Lord, they're finally together."

Leaning over to a neighbor, one mourner quietly asked,
"Is he referring to her first, second or third husband?"

The neighbor replied, "I think he's referring to her legs."

 

[PinkPoodle]

Three Dogs

There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other when one says,

"I chewed up all my masters shoes and that's why I am here."

The next dog said, "I peed on my masters $1000 rug."

The next dog comes in and said,

"My master is a female and she likes to clean the house in the nude, so when she bent over I went for the ride of a lifetime!"

"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.

"No I'm getting my nails clipped."

 

[PinkPoodle]

Family History

Jack Schitt is the only son of Aw Schitt the fertiliser king and Oh Schitt, the owner of Kneedeepin Schitt Inn.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had six kids.

Their first, Little Schitt, Holy Schitt, passed on shortly after birth.

Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Then they had two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt.

Deep Schitt married Lotta Schitt, a high school drop out.

Dip Schitt married Dumb Schitt and they have one son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.

The Schitt - Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horse Schitt.

Bull Schitt married an Italian girl, Pisa Schitt and they had a baby, named Hawg Schitt.

They divorced and she re married a man named Head. She now goes by the name of Schitt - Head.

If you have read this far and don't know who these people are, you probably don't know Jack Schitt.

 

[PinkPoodle]

The Different Types Of Sex

Social Security Sex.
Two men were talking, "So hows your sex life?"
"Oh nothing special, I'm having Social Security Sex."
"Social Security Sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!

Loud Sex.
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I' ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear" the shrink said, "That's completely natural, I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!

Quiet Sex.
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "Your Never Home!"

Confounded Sex.
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said "The cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, $14500 for large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room , and found the man looking dejected."
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

Wedding Anniversary Sex.
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff at Last."

 

[Vyxxxn]

Sadly, all men are created equal...GiGgLe ;D

 

[PinkPoodle]

Italian Men Spelling Mississipi

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. they seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but then her attention is galvanised when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first, Den I come. Two Asses, they come together. I come again. Two Asses, they come together again. I Pee twice. Then I come once more."

"You foul mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public."

"Hey, cool down lady," said the man.

"I was only tellin' my friend here how to spell Mississippi."

 

[PinkPoodle]

Certificate for Sex

There was a fellow talking to his buddy one day. The fellow said:

"I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said: "I have an idea, why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it, she'll probably be thrilled!"

So the first fellow just did that. The next day his buddy asked:

"Well, did you take up my suggestion? How'd it turn out?"

"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling. I'll see you in two hours!"

 

[Vyxxxn]

Nice ones PinkP...also like the new av...colourful :angel1:

 

[Melb_Guy]

Q. WHAT'S the world's sexiest sport?
A. Golf - because the players dress like pimps and are practiced,
dedicated swingers.

......................................................................
A MAN was sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he had ever seen.

Finally his curiosity got the best of him, so he walked over and asked: "How do you get into those pants?"

The young woman looked him over and replied: "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."

.......................................................................
Q. WHAT is the definition of an American Bra?

A. One yank and it's off

............................................................
AN elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said: "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered: "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one in four pieces."

The doctor said: "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said: "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

............................................................................
ONE Friday afternoon two women are talking about nothing in particular when one of them spots the other's husband and says: "Oh look Gloria! He's bought you a lovely bunch of flowers."

Gloria turns to look and replies: "Oh bloody hell, that's me on my back with my legs open all weekend."

Her friend looks surprised and asks: "You don't have a vase, then?"

.............................................................
and finally

TWO Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

;D

 

[PinkPoodle]

New Evening Classes For Men

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN FOR MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.

The course covers two days, and the topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper { pictures and graphics }

DISHES & SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other-
Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Start with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS: DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play!

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonials from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring you calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT: LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available