Women not interested in sex.

[naughtish]

My advice. Don't have kids. It won't get any better from here. Have a discussion with her and lay down your expectations and needs from the marriage. If there is no improvement and if it's not going to cost you, I would bail if I were you.

The problem is we do love each other and generally we have a good thing going on.. we have built a nice house , bought nice cars etc together so it’s a bit hard to bail out as well. It’s just the she is not into sex at all and even if when we do it, she doesn’t like any sort of oral , touching , fingering etc which is what I love . Have tried to talk to her and convince her that these things are normal part of a sex life but nothing has changed . If not for the sex part we have a really good relationship.

 

[Master Yoda]

If you are not getting any at home, you have great restraint Master Yoda! The force must be with you!

I’m getting it. Just not like before

 

[Master Yoda]

The problem is we do love each other and generally we have a good thing going on.. we have built a nice house , bought nice cars etc together so it’s a bit hard to bail out as well. It’s just the she is not into sex at all and even if when we do it, she doesn’t like any sort of oral , touching , fingering etc which is what I love . Have tried to talk to her and convince her that these things are normal part of a sex life but nothing has changed . If not for the sex part we have a really good relationship.

I’m a bit like you. I’m getting something quite often. Just it’s all other terms

 

[johnmatilda]

The problem is we do love each other and generally we have a good thing going on.. we have built a nice house , bought nice cars etc together so it’s a bit hard to bail out as well. It’s just the she is not into sex at all and even if when we do it, she doesn’t like any sort of oral , touching , fingering etc which is what I love . Have tried to talk to her and convince her that these things are normal part of a sex life but nothing has changed . If not for the sex part we have a really good relationship.

Sorry to hear mate. That love can turn to resentment over time. Intimacy is vital for a sound relationship and to bond with each other. She may have deep rooted issues that need therapy. Sounds like you have the same problem as Will Smith: it's cheaper to keep her.

Wish you the best. Punting may be your only option if you need to release the pressure.

 

[johnmatilda]

I’m getting it. Just not like before

Could be time to have a deep conversation with her if not already done. That way, you have expressed how you feel openly. If no change, either bail or happy punting!

 

[naughtish]

Sorry to hear mate. That love can turn to resentment over time. Intimacy is vital for a sound relationship and to bond with each other. She may have deep rooted issues that need therapy. Sounds like you have the same problem as Will Smith: it's cheaper to keep her.

Wish you the best. Punting may be your only option if you need to release the pressure.

Yes unfortunately punting has been my only option . Feels guilty everytime but it is what it is. Thanks for the message .

 

[Master Yoda]

Could be time to have a deep conversation with her if not already done. That way, you have expressed how you feel openly. If no change, either bail or happy punting!

We have spoken. Has not worked. So I am improving myself in other ways to set up a better discussion

 

[johnmatilda]

We have spoken. Has not worked. So I am improving myself in other ways to set up a better discussion

Wish you all the best mate. If you do discover how to break through, let us know as many on here could use advice.

 

[johnmatilda]

Wish you all the best mate. If you do discover how to break through, let us know as many on here could use advice.

As I hit post reply on my message, a thought came to mind: just tell her a man needs sex 3 times a week to keep him faithful and let her mull on it.

Not suggesting you should say it, it's just what came into my mind.

 

[johnmatilda]

As I hit post reply on my message, a thought came to mind: just tell her a man needs sex 3 times a week to keep him faithful and let her mull on it.

Not suggesting you should say it, it's just what came into my mind.

Another just came into my mind. You mentioned improving yourself. Improve yourself to the extent you become desirable to other women. Why? Because women want a man who is desired by other women.

You could try working out, build some muscle, change of wardrobe etc. Just some suggestions...

 

[LZZ]

Better to just go half your age to be on the safe side! The older they are, the more you have to coax her libido!

Let's say a man whose is 60 goes for a lady who is 30, and the I guess lady's father won't be too happy about it and the lady herself may be more interested in a younger man. This theory may not work in real life.

 

[LZZ]

I’m getting it. Just not like before

I actually have a question that bother me for a long time. It would be nice if I can get some real view from you guys. From what I read from Chinese social media, I saw thousands of complaints from women that they face body shaming from their husbands due to changes in their physique during pregnancy and their husbands are not interested in having sex with them because of the loose, stretching belly and loose pussy. I even see men post on social media expressing lack of interests in their wives because of that. I've seen the stomach and body of women who have given birth, and indeed, there is a big difference compared to before having children.

So the question is, to what extent, that would impact a man's interest in their wife if the wife is not as attractive as before and how do you guys cope with it ? Go for WLs or just OK with their body change? Don't need to lie, no one know each other in this forum.

 

[johnmatilda]

Let's say a man whose is 60 goes for a lady who is 30, and the I guess lady's father won't be too happy about it and the lady herself may be more interested in a younger man. This theory may not work in real life.

No one forces the 30 year old woman to hook up/marry the 60 year old man. Both make a consensual decision to be with each other. If she is interested in a younger man, then go for it but she should note that men generally are not interested in a woman older than them especially if the gap is large. For example, there is very little if anything that a 40 year old woman can offer a 30 year old man let alone a 60 year old woman to offer a 40 year old man.

 

[voyuerism]

I actually have a question that bother me for a long time. It would be nice if I can get some real view from you guys. From what I read from Chinese social media, I saw thousands of complaints from women that they face body shaming from their husbands due to changes in their physique during pregnancy and their husbands are not interested in having sex with them because of the loose, stretching belly and loose pussy. I even see men post on social media expressing lack of interests in their wives because of that. I've seen the stomach and body of women who have given birth, and indeed, there is a big difference compared to before having children.

So the question is, to what extent, that would impact a man's interest in their wife if the wife is not as attractive as before and how do you guys cope with it ? Go for WLs or just OK with their body change? Don't need to lie, no one know each other in this forum.

for me , I am def not a fan of flab or BBW , but its not all about the appearance of the body ( I mean I bet you wouldn't be impressed with my body ) but sexual attractiveness is a lot to do with accepting the body and making the most of it. A woman who is sexually comfortable with herself is not always so skinny but uses her body to make a man feel attracted and attractive.
I did not stop loving my wife because she got pregnant and gave us 2 beautiful children .. I stopped bcoz she separated from me (emotionally) and I refuse to take responsibility for her deliberate decision.
Many WL are not a stereotypical skinny chinese doll type.

 

[johnmatilda]

I saw thousands of complaints from women that they face body shaming from their husbands due to changes in their physique during pregnancy and their husbands are not interested in having sex with them because of the loose, stretching belly and loose pussy. I even see men post on social media expressing lack of interests in their wives because of that. I've seen the stomach and body of women who have given birth, and indeed, there is a big difference compared to before having children.

This is because they have made the mistake of marrying someone close to their age. It goes back to what I said. A man must only marry a woman who is about half his age. So when he is 60, she is 30 but she still looks good.

So the question is, to what extent, that would impact a man's interest in their wife if the wife is not as attractive as before and how do you guys cope with it ?

Attraction is not a negotiation. Men are attracted to good looking women. Period. This is in our DNA. Conversely, you will find that women are not attracted to short, fat balding men. It is up to a woman to keep herself looking her best. Unfortunately women are now being misled to believe that no matter how fat or huge they are, they are a queen and she deserves the best.

 

[LZZ]

Most men already provide those things but it is not reciprocated by most women or appreciated. Some men have already commented in this post that despite all the things they do for their partners, it's a one way street.

There are however exceptions to every rule.

This is because they have made the mistake of marrying someone close to their age. It goes back to what I said. A man must only marry a woman who is about half his age. So when he is 60, she is 30 but she still looks good.




Attraction is not a negotiation. Men are attracted to good looking women. Period. This is in our DNA. Conversely, you will find that women are not attracted to short, fat balding men. It is up to a woman to keep herself looking her best. Unfortunately women are now being misled to believe that no matter how fat or huge they are, they are a queen and she deserves the best.

Then the answer is yes from you. A woman does all the laboring job ( I assume it is the most difficult job) to get a babe while a man gets it while they enjoy themselves, but in the end, women are not appreciated. No understanding of why they would have loose pussy and stretching marks, no love, no caring, just being disliked by their man. They got complaint for something they can't control, don't think it can easily get back to what they looks like before having babes unless men pays for all the postpartum care center, nannies and gym instructors.

Mmmm. now we get the answer as why their woman doesn't want to have sex. Period.

 

[LZZ]

for me , I am def not a fan of flab or BBW , but its not all about the appearance of the body ( I mean I bet you wouldn't be impressed with my body ) but sexual attractiveness is a lot to do with accepting the body and making the most of it. A woman who is sexually comfortable with herself is not always so skinny but uses her body to make a man feel attracted and attractive.
I did not stop loving my wife because she got pregnant and gave us 2 beautiful children .. I stopped bcoz she separated from me (emotionally) and I refuse to take responsibility for her deliberate decision.
Many WL are not a stereotypical skinny chinese doll type.

for me , I am def not a fan of flab or BBW , but its not all about the appearance of the body ( I mean I bet you wouldn't be impressed with my body ) but sexual attractiveness is a lot to do with accepting the body and making the most of it. A woman who is sexually comfortable with herself is not always so skinny but uses her body to make a man feel attracted and attractive.
I did not stop loving my wife because she got pregnant and gave us 2 beautiful children .. I stopped bcoz she separated from me (emotionally) and I refuse to take responsibility for her deliberate decision.
Many WL are not a stereotypical skinny chinese doll type.

This is more emotionally acceptable to women, but I like to hear all the true voices.Good or bad, Lol

 

[LZZ]

No one forces the 30 year old woman to hook up/marry the 60 year old man. Both make a consensual decision to be with each other. If she is interested in a younger man, then go for it but she should note that men generally are not interested in a woman older than them especially if the gap is large. For example, there is very little if anything that a 40 year old woman can offer a 30 year old man let alone a 60 year old woman to offer a 40 year old man.

Problem with my expression, when I say they like younger man, I am actually saying a 30 year old woman may like a 30-45 years old man not 60 year old man ( 30-45 old as younger compare to 60)

 

[johnmatilda]

I did not stop loving my wife because she got pregnant and gave us 2 beautiful children .. I stopped bcoz she separated from me (emotionally) and I refuse to take responsibility for her deliberate decision.

Well put. Sadly this happens to many men. I am empathetic to your situation as well as the other men who have spoken up.

 

[johnmatilda]

Problem with my expression, when I say they like younger man, I am actually saying a 30 year old woman may like a 30-45 years old man not 60 year old man ( 30-45 old as younger compare to 60)

I understand now.

It is more likely for a woman to be attracted to a successful, rich, charismatic, charming man. There is nothing wrong with a 60 year old man with a 30 year old woman. Remember that men age gracefully (George Clooney anyone? ).

However, I do understand that a 30 year old woman will still want a 30-45 year old successful, rich, charismatic, good looking and charming man vs a 60 year old man with the same qualities. There are just fewer 30-45 year old men with all these attributes to go around so many 30 year old women will miss out waiting for prince charming.

 

[LZZ]

I understand now.

It is more likely for a woman to be attracted to a successful, rich, charismatic, charming man. There is nothing wrong with a 60 year old man with a 30 year old woman. Remember that men age gracefully (George Clooney anyone? ).

However, I do understand that a 30 year old woman will still want a 30-45 year old successful, rich, charismatic, good looking and charming man vs a 60 year old man with the same qualities. There are just fewer 30-45 year old men with all these attributes to go around so many 30 year old women will miss out waiting for prince charming.

I never find it a problem for a young woman with older man. I am just saying, it doesn't work as you wish in reality. Do you or your mates get a young wife or anyone you know in your real life get a young wife. What is the proportion compare to a young lady with matching age husband(let's say 0-15 age older) ? Just stating a fact.

 

[voyuerism]

LZZ .. even if you are not a woman .. which it seems you are .. I like the way you think/write .. TY for all your comments here

Maybe we'll meet somehow and then you can see if a young asian lady is attracted to an older caucasian man ..

 

[johnmatilda]

I never find it a problem for a young woman with older man. I am just saying, it doesn't work as you wish in reality. Do you or your mates get a young wife or anyone you know in your real life get a young wife. What is the proportion compare to a young lady with matching age husband(let's say 0-15 age older) ? Just stating a fact.

You're right. I don't know any couples with a significant age gap like 15 years. But I know plenty of couples with barely any age gap and I can tell you that for many of them, it's not working out well. The men are mostly frustrated due to the lack of intimacy. Most of these couples are in their 40s-50s and like many of the blokes here, the sex life is non-existent. The solution? Men should partner up with younger women so that their sex drive is matched as closely as possible.

 

[johnmatilda]

if a young asian lady is attracted to an older caucasian man ..

Happens all the time. Why? I'll let the joke below explain...

At the local Senior Citizens Club, Tom was showing off a photo of him and a beautiful young Thai girl giving him a kiss.
"Who is that?" asked Harry. "Is that your girlfriend?
"Actually; she is my wife" replied Tom.
"How did an old fart like you get such a stunner?" sneered Dick.
Tom confessed that he lied about his age. "What, don't tell me that you told her that you were only 50" sneered Dick again.
"No" replied Tom. "I told her that I was 90!!!!!!!"

/Credits to whoever posted it. Can't remember who/where.

 

[LZZ]

LZZ .. even if you are not a woman .. which it seems you are .. I like the way you think/write .. TY for all your comments here

Maybe we'll meet somehow and then you can see if a young asian lady is attracted to an older caucasian man ..

I guess I might have offended you by leaving above comment. I apologize for it if I make you feel uncomfortable.

 

[LZZ]

You're right. I don't know any couples with a significant age gap like 15 years. But I know plenty of couples with barely any age gap and I can tell you that for many of them, it's not working out well. The men are mostly frustrated due to the lack of intimacy. Most of these couples are in their 40s-50s and like many of the blokes here, the sex life is non-existent. The solution? Men should partner up with younger women so that their sex drive is matched as closely as possible.

Good advice, lol, I'll mark that down. 15 years age difference is not too bad, seems quite reasonable to me as men age slower. I do find a few men at their 50s and 60s still look quite attractive, but the half age theory is still a bit too much in most cases and it looks more to me only money bonding there.

 

[johnmatilda]

I guess I might have offended you by leaving above comment. I apologize for it if I make you feel uncomfortable.

He wasn't offended but appreciative

 

[johnmatilda]

and it looks more to me only money bonding there.

I agree:

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/woman-admits-to-starting-relationship-for-money-before-love/news-story/76ba9d7116a567d8e04ee2d0fa37294e

That is why every man, even a poor one, should get a prenup because he may be successful later in life. Examples: Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Hugh Jackman. Even Wolverine's wife didn't want to stick around. What chance do we regular people have?

 

[voyuerism]

I guess I might have offended you by leaving above comment. I apologize for it if I make you feel uncomfortable.

You definitely have not offended me. Your opinions are welcomed. TY

 

[John Smithl]

I can recommend working through the book with your partner, "Eight Dates" by John Gottman.