Intimacy devoid relationship - 2 yrs and counting without any sex or real intimacy and past 5 years you could count on one hand.
Started out bonking like rabbits, but all changed once a kid arrived. Which to be honest seems all too common due to PND, stress, time poor, hormonal changes etc. so I guess totally understandable, but it’s a big part of me to have that intimacy and to have it missing drives me to depression.
Had counselling, expressed my feelings to no avail. Resigned myself to it never getting better but too weak to go through the whole divorce thing again and the impact on my child and financially would ruin me.
So I punt when I can afford to, sscratch that itch and remain sane. Otherwise I would have hung myself long ago.
I question myself often, that if the intimacy in the relationship returns, will I still stray? I honestly don’t know, but do feel there would be a risk from wanting variety that I’ve now become accustomed too. Ironically I tend to seek WL that offer a similar resemblance to my wife. I guess so I can imagine making love to her.
Sad I know, and the solution I know, but despite this I don’t have the balls to change my life. One day I’ll probably get caught and it will be changed for me. I don’t feel good about cheating and to be honest it really gets to me that so do, but I feel totally empty without a woman’s touch and for me it’s a need and not a want.
F...ked up situation that I’m sure many on here also struggle with.
I would have never strayed if the intimacy within my relationship remained to some extent, even if a trickle.
