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Melinda Morgan
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holterman
Silver Member
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I recently picked a new GP. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing
'fairly well’ for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?’
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?
'Oh not much grog these days and don't smoke' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!’
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks, fatty roasts and barbecued Ribs?
'I said, 'Not much.... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing,surfing, hiking, or bicycling?’
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?’
'No,' I said…
He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why the Hell do you want to live to 85?
'fairly well’ for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?’
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?
'Oh not much grog these days and don't smoke' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!’
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks, fatty roasts and barbecued Ribs?
'I said, 'Not much.... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing,surfing, hiking, or bicycling?’
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?’
'No,' I said…
He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why the Hell do you want to live to 85?
TheRoamingEyeball
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Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for w itnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. What do you call kids born in brothels?
A. Brothel sprouts.
A. Brothel sprouts.
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A. He was looking for pooh!
A. He was looking for pooh!
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?
A. They kept trying each other.
A. They kept trying each other.
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping?
A. Yeah, he woke up!
A. Yeah, he woke up!
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
A. He found a hare up his ass.
A. He found a hare up his ass.
Selina Glitters
Bronze Member
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Q. What do you call an anorexic prostitute?
A. Lite & Easy
A. Lite & Easy
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