What do you think of online dating?

[Link83]

"Spastic Jackrabbit"?....
Howbout tenpin bowling then? I think I read in a how-to-date girls book somewhere, that if you can't dance, then take her ten-pin bowling? Does that sound like the right thing to do?

 

[aussie_single34]

I should bowl alot then

Did they say bowling.... or balling ?

Dating can be fun or a nightmare... depends who/how you play it
I'm also looking for playmates but just can't seem to find a genuine one
they all say... yes I'm into this...I'll do that
But when it comes down to it.... nada

 

[Spunkymunky]

First time around i wuss out on stuff but once i am more comfortable with the person i go for it lol.....that's why i always end up hooking up with friends!

Unfortunately....i am not looking for casual sex - it kinda fucked with my head last time so i am looking for something a little more involved.

 

[Link83]

Did I say "casual sex"?

Hang on, I'll just go back and check my posts.....[checks posts...comes back...] No, I don't think I did.

I am pretty much the one girl at a time kind of guy. Last girl lasted 20 years--so I'm not even young anymore

 

[Link83]

Yes, Bowling!
A girl friend of mine told me about a book she had read that said, if you can't dance, then take her "Bowling". My friend set up a date with a friend of hers who was feeling a bit lonely at the time. My date didn't want to go dancing, but thought it might be fun to go bowling, so we did.

It seemed to cheer her up, she had a great time. But we didn't do any more dates after that. I don't think it was meant to be. Bowling won't fix that.

 

[Spunkymunky]

lol that was a general comment - not aimed at anyone specific! I have only been bowling a few times (since turning 18) and the last time i ran into my ex bf who was out bowling with a guy i hooked up with, an ex friend from primary school who was on a date with a the guy i hooked up with AND three students.

I havn't been since it was too traumatic!

 

[Spunkymunky]

I went bowling on saturday and it was excellent hehe - i met up with a guy i havn't seen for a few months and ended up using and abusing him (in a good way!).

Perhaps i will need to go bowling more often in future as the trauma from when i was young was well and truly wiped out hehe!

So last time i got laid i got all the way up to 4mths of drought then broke it, i was almost up to 4mths again....hopefully it will be less the next time! And hopefully with a different guy as well.

I have been still trying internet dating with guys in the country but i got stood up and decided to have a break for awhile. The biggest problem i have with interent dating is the manners of the guys.....if i dont like a guy, or click with him i am polite enough to let him know.

 

[bi.man69]

try this site its free.... http://www.oasisactive.com/

 

[Spunkymunky]

Cheers bi.man69 - i hadn't heard of that one

 

[SubNymphet]

yeah i saw that one advertised on late night TV a few weeks ago... think its a new one... good luck with it all!
must say i am not a big fan of online dating... its fine for short term stuff but i wouldnt rely on it for anything serious...
I've met a few people in the past, but they never live up to expectations (maybe i was just too fussy... haha)

 

[Spunkymunky]

I think i am waaaaaaaay to fussy and probably to shy as well internet dating hasn't done me much good so far. Then again, i am the type of person who is sitting at home doing puzzles on a night when i have no work tomorrow!!

 

[Paul881]

As cold as it may sound, its a numbers game. Online dating is no different to offline, you meet plenty of people you aren't interested in, and occasionally one that you are.

Difference with offline is you can usually discard the ones you don't like before they have gotten anywhere or have any expectations. For online, usually the first time you meet them in the flesh so to speak is specifically to meet each other, rather than just generally meeting say at a pub or club where they just come up and say Hi (or vice versa).

 

[BigBlackCock]

I've tried online dating and so have a few friends. I can only say that I hear very, very few (that's a lie - I've heard none) nice stories about them.

Paul above made an interesting comment (and I'm not flaming him here) "you can usually discard the ones you don't like before they have gotten anywhere or have any expectations". I think that's one of the major problems with online dating.

Too much emphasis is placed on looks and looks alone, too much emphasis is placed on the first meeting. Before online dating came along, most friendships/relationships were built over time not overnight. Sadly, the online dating phenomena, has made people more shallow and they've gone on the "first impressions are lasting impressions" or (I hate that word) "chemistry" principle. I've been very objective about it, (at this point I should mention that I've tried online dating on and off for about 5 years now) and I notice the same women's faces there constantly. Admittedly I'm writing from a man's perspective.

If I accept that there's something wrong about me that drives women away and yet these women are STILL on the board years later, I can only conclude that:

1. All the men in cyberspace fail miserably to meet their expectations

or

2. The expectations of these women are far too high and unrealistic.

I think the problem is the second one.

Good luck - loneliness or not being in a relationship can be hell. And rejection can be a major part of that hell. :tearyeyed

 

[Spunkymunky]

Most of the time i don't mind being single but i do miss regular sex and the hugs......damn hugless world!

I have to admit i sometimes will discard a guy based on looks when doing the online dating thing, i have had it done to me quite a few times as well. I am gearing up to have another go at the online dating thing.

 

[SubNymphet]

As far as the looks... i must say when i have been on dating sites in the past as a single female, you get TOTALLY bombarded by men... heaps of emails everyday... theres got to be some way to decide who to talk to, cant talk to 20 new people everyday! gets a bit tiring! So, unfortunatly it does come down to whether or not
A) They are good looking
B) The profile is interesting!

unfortunatly these are the ways people choose whether or not to talk to people online...

call that shallow... but it is the way it is.... but then again, if a guy came up to me in person and i wasnt at all attracted to him, chances are i wouldnt pursue any form of relationship either, so why should it be any different online?

Also, i found so many of the guys on the dating sites seem to be just chasing a bit of tail... not actually looking to date... so if its just sex, im going to be even pickier than if it was friendship/dating...

 

[Spunkymunky]

Very true about the relationship vs sex thing, i also find if i am being a little picky that spelling is an issue. I think it is because i am a teacher and somewhat of a spelling nazi but it just puts me off.

 

[Tiggirl]

I'm not a teacher, but spelling is a massive thing for me...
I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a nerd, and nothing turns me off quicker than sloppy spelling and bad grammar.
I just feel that if a man can't be bothered to spell check something before he sends it to me, it shows that he really doesn't care whether he impresses me or not, or expects me to be too dumb to notice.
I would definitely respond to a average looking man with an articulate, well written and proof read profile over a gorgeous guy whose profile looks like it was written by a fifth grader.
And there are a LOT of them out there.
I think that's one of the differences between men and women...men are visual, a pretty face makes up for many sins. Women are much more oriented toward communication - a nice body helps, but it's the overall impression we get from what you write that sells us.
Before anyone's feathers get puffy, that is a generalisation based on experience...there are exceptions to every rule.

 

[kevin]

I don't trust net dating at all. I find that a lot of the girls there are just into teasing. I've met up with a couple who have look like supermodels on their profiles but look fairly different face to face. Having said that though I've also met a couple of girls who look great but are far too superficial for my liking.

What ever happened to meeting that beautiful stranger at the local supermarket, asking her out for a drink and then feeling like king of the world for the rest of the week? After all, any scrag can look "hot" under a ton of makeup. It takes something special to look naturally beautiful at 8pm at the local IGA in her uniform after working 9-5.

 

[Spunkymunky]

Well i did meet a nice guy online but he was a bit too fussy looks wise and i wasn't his cup of tea. Not that i'm unattractive - i am just not a gorgeous, thin blonde which seemed to be what he was after. Considering he lives in the country you would think he might be a bit less fussy!

I have however stopped the net dating for awhile as i met a guy through a friend who i like a lot. He has this non talking thing though....i know lots of guys dont like to "talk" but this guy just will not discuss anything even slightly emotional. As much as i like him i dont know if i want to spend (waste??) time on a "stick his head in the sand" type of guy.

 

[swingingstories]

Hi Spunky,

I have never tried the online dating thing myself, however I have several friends who have successfully used it to meet their mates. Two of those friends are now married to the person they met through RSVP.com.

I agree with the post that said it's a numbers game, you have to kiss a lot of frogs til you find your prince. And whilst I don't believe looks are the only consideration, I do believe you need to be physically attracted to someone for your long term relationship to survive. I think though, that someone who is ok, or ordinary looking, can sometimes become so much more attractive once you find their special traits.

I do count myself as very lucky never to have had to play the dating game, first marriage at 18 after one and a half years together. Second marriage to a man I met by chance only three months after separating from my first husband. Sometimes you have to believe that the universe has a plan, and when the time is right, he will find you.

Sometimes you just have to keep the faith.

Love,
swingingstories
:angel1:

 

[Spunkymunky]

I have a knack.....an uncanny ability.....some might even say a predilection to fall for extremley BAD partners. They are either emotional retards, in a relationship, self-obsessed, older guys with waaaay to much baggage, abusive guys and so on.

So i have met a truly nice guy now BUT he does the ignoring thing. ARGH! Men.

My ex was lucky like you were.....he has never really been single. Met me when he was 17, stayed with me for 5 yrs then immediately went into another relationship and he will stay with her until she gets fed up with his lack of commitment like i did. Still.....i do miss having someone around sometimes. I miss having someone to talk to about stuff.

Hence why the whole internet dating thing really started!

 

[kevin]

Lol emotional retards? Thats a nice a nice way of putting it. I think I have the same problem.... mainly with girls who are way too bi-polar for my liking. It seems that a down to Earth girl is getting hard to come by.

How long have you been together with the bloke Spunky?

 

[Spunkymunky]

Well this is a new guy.....met him through a friend a few months ago and asked him out, he sadi no we were just mates. Been getting to know him more and more, spend quite a bit of time talking to him and stuff. He even drove a 4hr round trip for my b'day! However, he wont talk about how he feels. So i am pretty sure hes interested but just.....dont......know.

Very frustrating

 

[SubNymphet]

take my word... SO dont want a guy who cant share his feelings!! arggg!!!!!!

 

[Spunkymunky]

I had a bf for 5yrs who woul stick his head in the sand ad refuse to talk about anything. It used to drive me NUTS.

 

[kevin]

Well if you've only known the bloke for 3 months... Trust me. The last thing I would want is someone who always asks "what am I feeling?" or "what are we?" He drove ages for you but that could be because you're really good friends now. I would steal him away for a bit and sneak a kiss. If he bolts it was never meant to be. If it turns out to be an open mouth affair then I guess you're entitled to to him talking a little more.

On the other hand you could wait it out....

 

[Spunkymunky]

I have been told i need to learn patience so i am going to wait it out.....we are going to the movies tomorrow while i am in Perth so hopefully that goes well!

 

[swingingstories]

Hey Spunky,

If you're in Perth at the moment, I hope you're going to come and visit us at LP's tomorrow night? I'll be there (sadly hubby will be babysitting) and it'd be great to meet you and put a face to the posts.

Love
swingingstories

 

[Spunkymunky]

Ah well....no LPs this weekend unfortunatley. I have yet to make it there actually! What i did do was make an ass of myself though lol.

Went on the "date" with shy guy and we just saw the movie, talked for a bit then he left. No touching, no hug goodbye....nothing! I was feeling very miffed! So i went back to the house i am staying at in Perth and got drunk with my friends. Then ended up in bed with one of them again! Very hot and very good in bed but not where i expected the night (morning) to end.

Ahhh smirnoff always seems to get me into trouble. It was like being 17yrs old as we didn't want our other friends to know it happened again so he had to sneak back to the couch at 6am hehe.

 

[Link83]

Hey Spunky, I haven't spoken to you for a while.

You and I had similar weekends by the sound of it. I went out to a movie on Friday night. My daughter wanted to come along to the movie, and I said OK, but I would drop her off home when the movie finished.

Turns out there was a fair bit of nudity and violence in the movie, and I sat there cringing concerned about what my daughter was being exposed to. She seemed fine until halfway through the movie one of the characters dry reached, and my daughter walked out. My friend and I had to follow her out of the movie, so we never saw the end of it.

I dropped my daughter off home and my friend and I went out for drinks afterwards. We had a couple of cocktails and things started to warm up. Then I told her a few funny stories, a couple of which seemed to offend her. So the night ended without a kiss, and no invite into a warm bed. I was too scared to offer and she so pissed off with me it looked like she wanted to whip me! So I screwed up a night with two women LOL.

Saturday avo I met an old friend from way back. Saturday was the first time we had seen each other for three years and she and I ended up in her bed. It was very nice to see her, but she doesn't want anyone to know that we might be an item, so I don't know where that relationship is going. She was very melancholy when we said goodbye, but she has been like that every time we have said goodbye in the past. I don't know what that means.

Is this as good as it gets? Surely there must be something better.