Todays humor Amuse me plz I'm stressed
- Thread starter Mrs Langtrees
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HookPsy
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LongHair
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OK so Happy2 decides its time to collect some yabbies from his dam.
He strolls down to over the rolling terrain to the south paddock with his trusty bucket in hand,
As he crests the final hill on the way to the dam he notices a combi van parked up next to the dam.
As he get closer he notices that there are clothes strewn all over the bank of the dam,
as he glances over the dam he spies 1/2 dozen nubile young women frolicking naked in his dam.
Standing next to their discarded clothing, he calls out to them, "hey you girls you better get out of there"
They call back to him, not while your here you old Perve you just want to see us naked...
He calls back "suit yourself, I will just stay here and feed the crocodiles"
He strolls down to over the rolling terrain to the south paddock with his trusty bucket in hand,
As he crests the final hill on the way to the dam he notices a combi van parked up next to the dam.
As he get closer he notices that there are clothes strewn all over the bank of the dam,
as he glances over the dam he spies 1/2 dozen nubile young women frolicking naked in his dam.
Standing next to their discarded clothing, he calls out to them, "hey you girls you better get out of there"
They call back to him, not while your here you old Perve you just want to see us naked...
He calls back "suit yourself, I will just stay here and feed the crocodiles"
HookPsy
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Here's a double standards joke for the guys.
A guy reads the newspaper and finds out a girl that does mutual rimming. So he calls up interested to try out Rimming together. He turns up showers well including every nook and crack on his body. And later they get down to it.
The guy goes first... hesitant at first, but goes for a lick and gets into it.
After a few minutes he stops, finding out the WL hasn't started yet on him. And asks.
She says, Yes i will do it but only with a dental dam.
Looks like he got the shit end of that one. A?
A guy reads the newspaper and finds out a girl that does mutual rimming. So he calls up interested to try out Rimming together. He turns up showers well including every nook and crack on his body. And later they get down to it.
The guy goes first... hesitant at first, but goes for a lick and gets into it.
After a few minutes he stops, finding out the WL hasn't started yet on him. And asks.
She says, Yes i will do it but only with a dental dam.
Looks like he got the shit end of that one. A?
RugbyMermaid
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RugbyMermaid
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Your local mechanic
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RugbyMermaid
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Jelliicopter
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RugbyMermaid
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TantraShiva
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Woah thats the first smart cock Ive seen!
Jack1666
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Miss Hoover, which one is oral?
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"Miss Hoover, which one is oral?" (S9, E2: "The Principal and the Pauper") | "Miss Hoover, which one is oral?" (S9, E2: "The Principal and the Pauper") | By Nothing but Simpsons clips | Facebook
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Channelle
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Time for a contribution, although obviously not the way anyone would think on here ...
The Old Flame
He received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who, that morning, called out of the blue to see if he was still around.
They lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times they used to enjoy together.
He could not believe it when she asked if he would be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that “old magic”.
“Wow!” he was flabbergasted.
“I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now,” he said, “I am a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me.
Plus, I do not really have the energy I used to have”.
She just giggled and said she was sure he would “rise to the challenge.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Just so long as you do not mind a waistline that is a few inches wider these days!
Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone … everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed, and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!”
She laughed and told him to stop being so silly.
She teased him saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and she was sure he would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, “I’ve put on a few pounds myself!”
So, he told her to Fuck off.
The Old Flame
He received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who, that morning, called out of the blue to see if he was still around.
They lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times they used to enjoy together.
He could not believe it when she asked if he would be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that “old magic”.
“Wow!” he was flabbergasted.
“I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now,” he said, “I am a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me.
Plus, I do not really have the energy I used to have”.
She just giggled and said she was sure he would “rise to the challenge.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Just so long as you do not mind a waistline that is a few inches wider these days!
Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone … everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed, and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!”
She laughed and told him to stop being so silly.
She teased him saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and she was sure he would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, “I’ve put on a few pounds myself!”
So, he told her to Fuck off.
Jack1666
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Too real to be funny. Bloody men!
Spidersense
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So this woman decides to go out and have sex , she encounters a American at the bar. They go home together and she says they can have sex as long as he uses a condom .
The next night she goes back to the bar and meets up with a British man, same thing happens they go back to her place and have sex as long as he uses a condom.
On the Third night she goes back to the bar and meets up with a Irishman. Same thing happens back to her place and they have sex with a condom.
A month later she discovers she's pregnant.
She encounters the American and asks him he says that it wasnt him he came into the condom .
She then runs into the British man and he tells her the exact same thing.
Finally she runs into the Irishman and she asks him if he used a condom that night. He replied yes I did but it was too big so I cut the end off.
The next night she goes back to the bar and meets up with a British man, same thing happens they go back to her place and have sex as long as he uses a condom.
On the Third night she goes back to the bar and meets up with a Irishman. Same thing happens back to her place and they have sex with a condom.
A month later she discovers she's pregnant.
She encounters the American and asks him he says that it wasnt him he came into the condom .
She then runs into the British man and he tells her the exact same thing.
Finally she runs into the Irishman and she asks him if he used a condom that night. He replied yes I did but it was too big so I cut the end off.
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Ouch pooch!!
lonelyman
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I don't get it. She doesn't look like she's experiencing menstrual cramps at the wrong time at all.
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Dogs ars amazing
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Looks familiar.
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Spidersense
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A new ride for girls 
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Hope you like this one
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When you shadow gives it away.
