When I was outrageously drunk while clubbing and I saw paper towels everywhere I used to think fuck this, grabbed them all and put them in the bin while saying ladies it's not that hard, don't behave like a pig if you don't want to look like one.
I just hung up my phone on the bus this morning when I felt a tap on my shoulder ,
"excuse me" said this teenage girl dressed in a school uniform, "I wonder if you could settle an argument for us?
me and my friend heard your phone ringing just them I'm pretty sure it was Beyoncé, but my friend is adamant it was Rhianna...."