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Lets share some good jokes to make us smile

H

Haydn Ciao

Bill and Edna are out for a Sunday drive in the country when a rabbit runs in front of the car and they run it over...
Edna insists they back up to see if it is alive... She jumps out of the car to find the rabbit clutching it's throat and making gurgling noises so she rummages around in the car boot to find it a drink. She uncaps the bottle and pours the liquid down the rabbits throat. After a few seconds the rabbit leaps to it's feet, waves frantically at her and tears off down the road...
That's a bit odd Bill and Edna thought and continued on their journey... A couple of km's down the road they see the rabbit frantically waving and again it tears off down the road... This happens a couple more times until Bill finally says Edna what the hell did you give that rabbit to drink???
Edna is still clutching the bottle and she looks at the label which reads Hair restorer and permanent wave 😂
 
AusGopher

AusGopher

Diamond Member
Points
7
A teacher splits her class into groups of boys and girls.
"You have to agree on a word and put it into a sentence."
After 10 minutes, the teacher asks for a spokesperson from both groups to say their word and the sentence.
Penny stood up for the girls, "Miss, we chose the word BEAUTIFUL and our sentence is, You are the most BEAUTIFUL teacher in the school."
The teacher was very pleased with the girls effort.
Johnny stands up for the boys. "Miss, we chose the word URINATE and our sentence is " Miss URINATE but if you flash your tits you'll be a ten."
The teacher fainted..
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
4
AusGopher said:
A teacher splits her class into groups of boys and girls.
"You have to agree on a word and put it into a sentence."
After 10 minutes, the teacher asks for a spokesperson from both groups to say their word and the sentence.
Penny stood up for the girls, "Miss, we chose the word BEAUTIFUL and our sentence is, You are the most BEAUTIFUL teacher in the school."
The teacher was very pleased with the girls effort.
Johnny stands up for the boys. "Miss, we chose the word URINATE and our sentence is " Miss URINATE but if you flash your tits you'll be a ten."
The teacher fainted..
Click to expand...


I see you must be a St Kevins graduate then.....
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
4
A local radio station is having a contest: the first person to call in with an English word the DJ has never heard of will win $1000.

So this guy calls in and when asked for the word, he says, "Goan...G-O-A-N…Goan."

The DJ thinks for a moment and says, "That’s not even a real word!"

"Sure it is," argues the caller.

"Well then use it in a sentence," says the DJ.

The caller replies "Goan f#ck yourself!"

The DJ quickly hangs up.

About 30 minutes and many calls later, no one has won the contest and the DJ answers yet another call.

When asked, the caller says, "Smee...S-M-E-E...Smee."

The DJ shakes his head and says, "I don't think that's real word. Can you please use that in a sentence caller?"

To which the caller responds, "It's Smee again......Goan fuck yourself!"
 
H

Haydn Ciao

Phoebe said:
A local radio station is having a contest: the first person to call in with an English word the DJ has never heard of will win $1000.

So this guy calls in and when asked for the word, he says, "Goan...G-O-A-N…Goan."

The DJ thinks for a moment and says, "That’s not even a real word!"

"Sure it is," argues the caller.

"Well then use it in a sentence," says the DJ.

The caller replies "Goan f#ck yourself!"

The DJ quickly hangs up.

About 30 minutes and many calls later, no one has won the contest and the DJ answers yet another call.

When asked, the caller says, "Smee...S-M-E-E...Smee."

The DJ shakes his head and says, "I don't think that's real word. Can you please use that in a sentence caller?"

To which the caller responds, "It's Smee again......Goan f**k yourself!"
Click to expand...
😂🤣🤪
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
4
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying.
When his mother ask why he replays.
"The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that."
Mom says "cause u black and they white."
Next day Tyrone is crying again .
"What's wrong today Tyrone" his mother ask.
Tyrone said "teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that."
Mom says "cause u black and they white."
Next day he comes home smiling.
"What happened today Tyrone?"
Tyrone says mama "we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white."
Mama says "no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6."
 
H

Haydn Ciao

Little Johnny was at the swimming pool with his big sister when his Mum got a call from the lifeguard asking her to pick him up because he had been caught peeing in the pool....
Really? she exclaimed I'm sure he is not the only kid to ever pee in a swimming pool??
No he's not replied the lifeguard however he is the only kid to ever pee off of the high dive board 🤗
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
4
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
4
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I d never stand in another line!”
 
H

Haydn Ciao

Thelma and Morton, a couple of Darwin locals were planning on getting married...
Thelma's Mum Martha was discussing the pro's and con's of marriage with her 7th and youngest daughter....
You know Thelma she explained... He gonna wanna put his most treasured item where you piss don't you??
Thelma exclaimed what??? He gonna wanna put his thongs in my sink???? 😫😫😫
 
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