How do you know if your partner is interested in sex with you anymore?

[AxeMan]

Hi,
I'm in a relationship with a sex worker, and I believe she has lost interest in sex with me, and she just has sex with me, and goes through the motions to try and keep me happy?
She works regularly, so I'm thinking she is bored from sex due to the men she sees at work?
Interested to hear what you think? Thanks.

I can't offer any advice from experience. But I think communication here is the key. Perhaps you need to change your style. Perhaps your approach to sex is too much like the punters who visit and she just falls into the work routine with sex. Talk to her and find out if there's things you can do to make it more fun and interesting and less like another job.

Good luck!

 

[MrBig]

I can't offer any advice from experience. But I think communication here is the key. Perhaps you need to change your style. Perhaps your approach to sex is too much like the punters who visit and she just falls into the work routine with sex. Talk to her and find out if there's things you can do to make it more fun and interesting and less like another job.

Good luck!

AM
You've done it again. Posted a response (above mine) and along similar similar lines.
Last time it was after I had smooth-talked the gorgeous @Bella Rose into letting me in her bed just for you to then do likewise (after I made her feel all gushy and hot) and leap over me, as I was pulling the covers back, landing in spot I had painstakingly prepared.
It's obvious that I can not compete with James Bond.
Well done - keep up the good work.

 

[cammando755]

I can't offer any advice from experience. But I think communication here is the key. Perhaps you need to change your style. Perhaps your approach to sex is too much like the punters who visit and she just falls into the work routine with sex. Talk to her and find out if there's things you can do to make it more fun and interesting and less like another job.

Good luck!

Thanks for the reply.
We have talked about it nearly a month ago, and we came up with a few ideas, but unfortunately when I tried to implement them, she didn't take to them. So I'm confused, she seems to nagg as well when it comes to sex, like complain that I kiss her wrong, or touch her wrong.
It's hard knowing that she is passionate with other men, but can't seem to put the effort in with me. It does seem like a chore from her part.
I'll keep trying and see where it goes

 

[AxeMan]

AM
You've done it again. Posted a response (above mine) and along similar similar lines.
Last time it was after I had smooth-talked the gorgeous @Bella Rose into letting me in her bed just for you to then do likewise (after I made her feel all gushy and hot) and leap over me, as I was pulling the covers back, landing in spot I had painstakingly prepared.
It's obvious that I can not compete with James Bond.
Well done - keep up the good work.

It's just a case of having no qualms about your sloppy seconds Mr Little!

 

[MrBig]

Thanks for the reply.
We have talked about it nearly a month ago, and we came up with a few ideas, but unfortunately when I tried to implement them, she didn't take to them. So I'm confused, she seems to nagg as well when it comes to sex, like complain that I kiss her wrong, or touch her wrong.
It's hard knowing that she is passionate with other men, but can't seem to put the effort in with me. It does seem like a chore from her part.
I'll keep trying and see where it goes

Perhaps she needs a break from work for a while and for the two of you to get away somewhere. Not a romantic holiday necessarily, travel and sightseeing, at least at first, to get the mind on completely different subjects.
System reboot.

 

[Sir Cruiser]

If your partner is working and seeing clients every day, it is highly likely that as MrLittle said, she needs a break. Even if she was not a Working Lady, any woman, well most anyway would soon get tired of having sex multiple times every day (yes i know thier are exceptions) and then having sex one last time with probably little patience by then would make a saintly woman snappy, irritable and grumpy when all she wants is a hug and intamacy, not more of the same.

My suggestion is that you ask her to have a chat over a drink when she has rested, tell her that you realise that what she does is draining, that you love her and want her to be happy. If finances allow, ask her if one night a week you spend time together just relaxing and enjoying some time with a hug or two. You will have to let her know that you realise she will also need her own space to relax. If you can achieve a dialogue and bear in mind you will have to take time from.wanting sex you might just become a more relaxed couple who can enjoy each others company and continue together a lot happier.

If as time goes by, she becomes more relaxed and feeling more at ease without pressure from the one who is her partner, her one to come home to, suggest that you would appreciate her telling you how and what makes her happy, what turns her on so that you can be a better partner, a better lover and you both will be a lot less stressed.

I hope that things work out for you and your partner, take it easy and try to be patient and as understanding as you can.

 

[cammando755]

If your partner is working and seeing clients every day, it is highly likely that as MrLittle said, she needs a break. Even if she was not a Working Lady, any woman, well most anyway would soon get tired of having sex multiple times every day (yes i know thier are exceptions) and then having sex one last time with probably little patience by then would make a saintly woman snappy, irritable and grumpy when all she wants is a hug and intamacy, not more of the same.

My suggestion is that you ask her to have a chat over a drink when she has rested, tell her that you realise that what she does is draining, that you love her and want her to be happy. If finances allow, ask her if one night a week you spend time together just relaxing and enjoying some time with a hug or two. You will have to let her know that you realise she will also need her own space to relax. If you can achieve a dialogue and bear in mind you will have to take time from.wanting sex you might just become a more relaxed couple who can enjoy each others company and continue together a lot happier.

If as time goes by, she becomes more relaxed and feeling more at ease without pressure from the one who is her partner, her one to come home to, suggest that you would appreciate her telling you how and what makes her happy, what turns her on so that you can be a better partner, a better lover and you both will be a lot less stressed.

I hope that things work out for you and your partner, take it easy and try to be patient and as understanding as you can.

Thanks for the detailed reply.
What you said makes a lot of sense, and we have been spending time together, but one thing I find difficult though, is knowing she is having so much sex at work, but not showing much interest in me.
It hurts to think she might be getting he need for sex filled from random men, and not me. So I then just go unsatisfied. Selfish a bit, maybe, but we all have our needs.

 

[Sir Cruiser]

Thanks for the detailed reply.
What you said makes a lot of sense, and we have been spending time together, but one thing I find difficult though, is knowing she is having so much sex at work, but not showing much interest in me.
It hurts to think she might be getting he need for sex filled from random men, and not me. So I then just go unsatisfied. Selfish a bit, maybe, but we all have our needs.

That is the hard part of being in a relationship with a w/l but you will have to consider changing your mindset. It is not that she is getting her need for sex from random men but she is doing a job to earn income, it just happens to imvolve sex. Unless you can come to terms with her job, because that is what it is, just a job, you probably will not be able to cope at all and will always have a problem. I do appreciate how hard it is but only you can try to think it through and come to terms with it. Until you can, the green eyed monster is going to keep eating away at you. It will be hard but i suggest that you start to think of it as a job, rationalize your feelings, learn to spot the signs of the green eye and what triggers it and once you have done that in your own mind, talk to and explain to your partner how you are learning to cope. You could even tell her what you are trying to do as it is most likely that it will help her as well as you.

Good luck and feel free to pm me if you ever feel the need.

 

[AxeMan]

Very good points, SC.

Something else to remember is that many people get tired from their jobs and it affects home life. Try to think of that as well.

 

[Miss Chloe]

Ask her!
Just communicate with her instead of asking us how she feels.

 

[MrBig]

Thanks for the detailed reply.
What you said makes a lot of sense, and we have been spending time together, but one thing I find difficult though, is knowing she is having so much sex at work, but not showing much interest in me.
It hurts to think she might be getting he need for sex filled from random men, and not me. So I then just go unsatisfied. Selfish a bit, maybe, but we all have our needs.

At work it's sex. At home make out about love. I won't criticise your approach because I'm not familiar with it. I don't want to know. If it was me, and I loved her or at least thought her to be special I'd TRY not to make it about me - at least not at first. Again, I don't profess to know all that you've tried thus far. Start by ensuring that you're not in a typical environment conducive to sex.
Preferably on weekend getaway - but not in bed. Could start during a picnic etc. Work your way next to her and talk. Keep talking about non-work related stuff. Then progress to gentle caressing. Very light touches. Arms and neck. Almost not even really touching. Doing so as if sex is the furthest thing on your mind. Make her the centre of the world. Take it further from there slowly. Be guided by her responses. Be prepared to back away at times. Teasing and touching essential. Progress to the legs, almost accidental light touches. Brushing the inner thigh occasionally. Making her enjoy your company in very different way from how her clients would treat her. You don't have to watch the clock. Hopefully she'll begin to be more receptive as she begins to feel that this is about love, not sex.
Need to be in a relaxed environment.
I hope you understand all this, and again, essentially, make it about LOVE.
.........
All else fails - try and get yourselves drunk - but that's not really the answer. (Just kidding here).
Good luck mate!

 

[Miss Chloe]

At work it's sex. At home make out about love. I won't criticise your approach because I'm not familiar with it. I don't want to know. If it was me, and I loved her or at least thought her to be special I'd TRY not to make it about me - at least not at first. Again, I don't profess to know all that you've tried thus far. Start by ensuring that you're not in a typical environment conducive to sex.
Preferably on weekend getaway - but not in bed. Could start during a picnic etc. Work your way next to her and talk. Keep talking about non-work related stuff. Then progress to gentle caressing. Very light touches. Arms and neck. Almost not even really touching. Doing so as if sex is the furthest thing on your mind. Make her the centre of the world. Take it further from there slowly. Be guided by her responses. Be prepared to back away at times. Teasing and touching essential. Progress to the legs, almost accidental light touches. Brushing the inner thigh occasionally. Making her enjoy your company in very different way from how her clients would treat her. You don't have to watch the clock. Hopefully she'll begin to be more receptive as she begins to feel that this is about love, not sex.
Need to be in a relaxed environment.
I hope you understand all this, and again, essentially, make it about LOVE.
.........
All else fails - try and get yourselves drunk - but that's really the answer. (Just kidding here).
Good luck mate!

This is really important. Make it about Love

 

[Dallas]

I look at it like this. When I was married, I worked in IT. I liked computers but I worked on them all day and when I got home I wanted to relax but instead my partner wanted me to work on her computer. I was getting paid to work on them all day and had a time limit per computer, then suddenly the person I loved was asking me to do it for free and who knows for how long. I'm not suggesting that you pay her, but my guess is that she's not going to be anywhere near as enthusiastic as you are as she's been doing it all day.

 

[cammando755]

I look at it like this. When I was married, I worked in IT. I liked computers but I worked on them all day and when I got home I wanted to relax but instead my partner wanted me to work on her computer. I was getting paid to work on them all day and had a time limit per computer, then suddenly the person I loved was asking me to do it for free and who knows for how long. I'm not suggesting that you pay her, but my guess is that she's not going to be anywhere near as enthusiastic as you are as she's been doing it all day.

So you suggest I could maybe take my 'computer' elsewhere to get fixed ...... lol.

I understand what you are saying, but I want more than company, I want the whole package. I can understand that analogy, and it makes sense, but feel that if that's the case, then isn't it unfair to the whole of the relationship. Why should I miss out on something I feel that is very special in the relationship, because she is giving it to other men.
I got into this relationship knowing she worked, so I can't complain, but the more I fall in love, the harder it gets.

 

[Dallas]

So you suggest I could maybe take my 'computer' elsewhere to get fixed ...... lol.

I understand what you are saying, but I want more than company, I want the whole package. I can understand that analogy, and it makes sense, but feel that if that's the case, then isn't it unfair to the whole of the relationship. Why should I miss out on something I feel that is very special in the relationship, because she is giving it to other men.
I got into this relationship knowing she worked, so I can't complain, but the more I fall in love, the harder it gets.

I totally understand what you are saying too, I'd want the whole package if it was me. I think though, all is not lost because as we know, the service she provides clients is business sex and nothing like good relationship sex so remember that she comes home to you,she wakes up with you, she doesn't charge you and there's no timer. If it were me, I'd try and make the experience as different as possible as anything she experiences in her job.

 

[Jaylily]

Ask her!
Just communicate with her instead of asking us how she feels.

I agree with you on that.

 

[Mick990]

Thanks for the reply.
We have talked about it nearly a month ago, and we came up with a few ideas, but unfortunately when I tried to implement them, she didn't take to them. So I'm confused, she seems to nagg as well when it comes to sex, like complain that I kiss her wrong, or touch her wrong.
It's hard knowing that she is passionate with other men, but can't seem to put the effort in with me. It does seem like a chore from her part.
I'll keep trying and see where it goes

Apologies for the blunt delivery but - just cut her loose man. Maybe being confronted with the reality that she's lost you will snap her out of it & you'll find shell change & be kicking the door down with a new attitude. If not then no big loss. Tip: nothing changes if nothing changes. If you get my drift. No point wasting your life away .

If all else fails feel free to use my go-to line:
Tthis dicks not gonna suck it's self.

 

[MrBig]

Apologies for the blunt delivery but - just cut her loose man. Maybe being confronted with the reality that she's lost you will snap her out of it & you'll find shell change & be kicking the door down with a new attitude. If not then no big loss. Tip: nothing changes if nothing changes. If you get my drift. No point wasting your life away .

If all else fails feel free to use my go-to line:
Tthis dicks not gonna suck it's self.

I hope you say it better than you spell it.
This dick's not gonna suck itself!

 

[Sir Cruiser]

When someone is in love no one else can understand why that person is doing or putting up with any particular situation. Only the person in love can come to any decision to be positive or negative when that person is ready. Love is not as simple as it is seen from the outside.

 

[Tiffany]

A good sign is when your partner gazes into your eyes and touches you ever so gently ..
If you feel goosebumps,TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF !!!!
If not, there's nothing a little oral stimulation won't solve !

 

[Ozrock]

Thanks for the reply.
We have talked about it nearly a month ago, and we came up with a few ideas, but unfortunately when I tried to implement them, she didn't take to them. So I'm confused, she seems to nagg as well when it comes to sex, like complain that I kiss her wrong, or touch her wrong.
It's hard knowing that she is passionate with other men, but can't seem to put the effort in with me. It does seem like a chore from her part.
I'll keep trying and see where it goes

My girlfriend is a WL and communication about each others needs is important. As Chloe suggested, ask her what she likes? With my girlfriend she is used to meeting the needs of clients, so you have the opportunity to make her the focus. If she is saying you are doing things wrong ask her how you can do it right. You mentioned in one post that it is harder the more you fall in love. Have you asked her if she loves you? If you both love each other then develop the romance side of the relationship. If it really isn't working you may want to take a break. If she does care about you she would then "miss you". Sometimes you don't appreciate what you have until it is gone! The relationship does need to be two way, otherwise it will not work long term. I hope it does work out for both of you.

 

[Phoebe]

when she takes out an AVO on you and you are in the back of a paddy wagon going back to lockup I would say she really doesn't like you any more... j/ks

 

[Jaylily]

A good sign is when your partner gazes into your eyes and touches you ever so gently ..
If you feel goosebumps,TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF !!!!
If not, there's nothing a little oral stimulation won't solve !

Oh Tiffany your wisdom always makes me smile

 

[juddy]

Hi,
I'm in a relationship with a sex worker, and I believe she has lost interest in sex with me,

How did you meet and start your relationship?

 

[cammando755]

How did you meet and start your relationship?

We met many years ago at her workplace, and after it being on and off a bit, we eventually moved in together.

 

[Phoebe]

We met many years ago at her workplace, and after it being on and off a bit, we eventually moved in together.

At what point did you stop asking what "extras" she offered? lol

 

[Kylie Middleton]

Have you actually sat down and talked to her about your concerns? I don't find that work really affects my interest in sex with my partner, unless I've had a really good day in which case I'm often more keen! But if she is working a lot are there other things you can do to make her feel more relaxed when she gets home? Chores, setting up a place for romantic drinks at home or offering a non-sexual massage are some of my favorites. If she feels that you're taking care of all her other needs she's much more likely to be more aware of yours.

 

[Pleasure Chick1]

How did you go with this??

 

[cammando755]

How did you go with this??

A lot has happened since I posted this. We've talked about things, then things didn't get any better, talked about them again, still didn't get any better, then had a pretty big argument, where I was thinking of leaving, and she finally realised the importance of the situation.
She got to the stage where she didn't want to kiss me at all, yet was doing it at work with other guys, and to me, that's something I find enjoyable and intimate.
I was getting a lot of mixed signals too, she would want me to do things to get her in the mood, I would, or were already doing them, then she would say still be a bit weird saying that's Maine be it. After our bigger argument, things have improved a lot, which has been good. At the moment she isn't working too much, things are going along really well in the sex department.

 

[Pleasure Chick1]

thats really good!