I found this article extremely interesting.
Having dabbled in the Swinging scene myself I have seen the heart break, jealousy and confusion that can occur when one member of a couple is pushed into going or when a couple hasn't placed their boundaries or they haven't researched things a little better.
I have also seen the bonding, fun, excitement and pure erotica that be Swinging.
This article has some great pointers for couples who fantasize about the swinging scene and take that next step of getting involved.
Research, Observe, Set Boundaries, Have Signals In Place and most definitely Do Not Use It To Save A Flailing Relationship.
The danger of turning your swinging fantasy into a reality
STANDING on the side of the road at 1:30am with the rain pelting down, I was shielded from the wet weather but drenched from tears of the woman in my arms.
I was consoling her because her boyfriend had just walked off in a fit of anger after witnessing her erotically massaged by another man at a private sex club.
Ill-prepared couples often jump into this world of swinging, where there are many misconceptions and false fantasies and a high risk of someone ending up in tears. Sometimes hearts, sexual confidence, egos and relationships are broken.
It is still taboo to talk about sex and the subject of swinging or attending sex clubs is probably not one discussed at the office water cooler. It is a world protected by privacy and anonymity, something that is also responsible for those eager to check it out first hand.
However many party goers do not understand what really happens — it’s not all a scene from
Fifty Shades of Grey.
If we were more open about sex, maybe we would make our decisions from a more informed place rather than a desire to explore unknown taboos for all the wrong reasons.
The problem is, how will you ever know what it feels like to watch your partner with someone else until you see it? The catch is that once you enter this environment, even if it’s just for a look, you might be faced with a reality you are not equipped to handle or ready to deal with.
This is why preparation, communication and education are a must.
Most clubs in Australia are exclusive but still open to the general public and are either for couples or single females with some having all singles nights. They are hidden and off the beaten track and are BYO.
When you enter there is often a room with lockers where you can safely store your possessions and clothes and nearby there might be a hot tub or spa where you can meet some couples you want to “mingle” with.
There are also common areas where you can hang out and chat with others and areas such as dance, bondage and “play” rooms where the real action take place. Some have rooms full of mattresses and swings and others couches or beds. Some even look like hotel rooms with showers.
Many of these places from the outside would seem to be just normal apartments, town houses or factories and you might not even know if one was next door to you.
At best they can be great places to explore your sexuality, but it also takes a special type of couple to be able to survive it.
HOW TO DO IT RIGHT
If this is a strong sexual desire or something on your sexual bucket list, here is my check list for what you need to know before entering a world that can be exciting, sexual but also relationships suicide.
1. Ask yourself and your partner why you want to do this. Is it a sexual fantasy or relationships rescue? If it’s the first, then proceed, but if this is an attempt to patch things up in the bedroom, you could be putting yourself at a higher risk.
2. Communicate with your partner and discuss this situation A LOT. What would your boundaries be if you did this and what would it look like? You might just want to go for a watch or lightly play with someone else. Just being there doesn’t mean you have to have penetrative sex with other people. It’s also vital to discuss signs and signals for when you are not comfortable
3. Be creative with labels. If you want to explore this world it doesn’t mean you have to call yourself swingers or fit into a category of what you think this looks like. You create your own label (if you even want one) and your own rules.
4. Do your research. It’s good to look online and find out what clubs are in your area and how they work
5. Talk to other people. If you don’t know someone who is in this lifestyle jump on various chat rooms and ask what it is all about and maybe some tips for how other couples make rules and boundaries.
6. Use fantasy to test it out. When you are next having an intimate moment with your partner, talk as though you were in a club and what you might see around you. It’s good to gauge how you feel about the presence of others around you being sexual and wanting to be sexual with you. How would you feel?
7. Just go have a look first. Sometimes go and have a look one night to see how you feel. Make the rule that you will not participate that night no matter how much you want to and discuss what you saw and how you felt when you return home.
8. If at any time you feel uncomfortable leave.
I really hope this helps anyone/couple who may be looking into the world of Swinging.
For full article CLICK HERE
Source: http://www.ntnews.com.au/
