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What do you want written on your obituary!!! This one is good

Ms Sue

Legend Member
Points
5
Harry Weathersby Stamps

December 19, 1932 -- March 9, 2013

Long Beach

Harry Weathersby Stamps, ladies' man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler, died on Saturday, March 9, 2013.

Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated). For his signature bacon and tomato sandwich, he procured 100% all white Bunny Bread from Georgia, Blue Plate mayonnaise from New Orleans, Sauer's black pepper from Virginia, home grown tomatoes from outside Oxford, and Tennessee's Benton bacon from his bacon-of-the-month subscription. As a point of pride, he purported to remember every meal he had eaten in his 80 years of life.

The women in his life were numerous. He particularly fancied smart women. He loved his mom Wilma Hartzog (deceased), who with the help of her sisters and cousins in New Hebron reared Harry after his father Walter's death when Harry was 12. He worshipped his older sister Lynn Stamps Garner (deceased), a character in her own right, and her daughter Lynda Lightsey of Hattiesburg. He married his main squeeze Ann Moore, a home economics teacher, almost 50 years ago, with whom they had two girls Amanda Lewis of Dallas, and Alison of Starkville. He taught them to fish, to select a quality hammer, to love nature, and to just be thankful. He took great pride in stocking their tool boxes. One of his regrets was not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President.

He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, Lane cakes, boiled peanuts, Vienna [Vi-e-na] sausages on saltines, his homemade canned fig preserves, pork chops, turnip greens, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.

He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on. He loved to use his oversized "old man" remote control, which thankfully survived Hurricane Katrina, to flip between watching The Barefoot Contessa and anything on The History Channel. He took extreme pride in his two grandchildren Harper Lewis (8) and William Stamps Lewis (6) of Dallas for whom he would crow like a rooster on their phone calls. As a former government and sociology professor for Gulf Coast Community College, Harry was thoroughly interested in politics and religion and enjoyed watching politicians act like preachers and preachers act like politicians. He was fond of saying a phrase he coined "I am not running for political office or trying to get married" when he was "speaking the truth." He also took pride in his service during the Korean conflict, serving the rank of corporal--just like Napolean, as he would say.

Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam's on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.

Harry traveled extensively. He only stayed in the finest quality AAA-rated campgrounds, his favorite being Indian Creek outside Cherokee, North Carolina. He always spent the extra money to upgrade to a creek view for his tent. Many years later he purchased a used pop-up camper for his family to travel in style, which spoiled his daughters for life.

He despised phonies, his 1969 Volvo (which he also loved), know-it-all Yankees, Southerners who used the words "veranda" and "porte cochere" to put on airs, eating grape leaves, Law and Order (all franchises), cats, and Martha Stewart. In reverse order. He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil's Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.

Because of his irrational fear that his family would throw him a golf-themed funeral despite his hatred for the sport, his family will hold a private, family only service free of any type of "theme." Visitation will be held at Bradford-O'Keefe Funeral Home, 15th Street, Gulfport on Monday, March 11, 2013 from 6-8 p.m.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. He taught thousands and thousands of Mississippians during his life. The family would also like to thank the Gulfport Railroad Center dialysis staff who took great care of him and his caretaker Jameka Stribling.

Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord's Time.

View & sign register book @ www.bradfordokeefe.com
 
C

Contrarian

What would I want written for my obituary? Simple - "It's a miracle! He's alive!"

The most famous tombstone one which is a myth 'cos it never happened though he joked about it is Spike Milligans. He said if he died, which he is now, he'd like to put the words "Told you I was sick" on his gravestone.
 
C

colzilla

Death is just the beginning.
Hell awaits.
Another one bites the dust.
Dead and loving it.
Bit dark in here.
Not Again.
666.
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
I'd like to think that someone's life was just a little better as a result of something I'd done during mine and if that ended up on my obituary then that would be a good thing
 

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
Death is just the beginning.
Hell awaits.
Another one bites the dust.
Dead and loving it.
Bit dark in here.
Not Again.
666.

You might wanna add, "Can't wait to meet the odd couple, Saddam and Satan" lol...

"1 less bean eater, and 1 less greenhouse gas producer."
 

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
22
We are not saying dad was tight
But He needed to prise the cheeks of his apart with a crowbar to pass wind
Love ya dad
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
Lol! col I know a couple of people who've done that, had an uncle that exited the second level of a carpark backwards through the wall
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
Is that a Cameltoe I see ? Maybe its a female Elvis impersonator who has taken a few to many hormones

There's a song about it that Elvis didn't sing....

[video=youtube;ZBIGwtyqBhA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBIGwtyqBhA[/video]
 
C

colzilla

I heard he joined the communist party along with his friend Chairman Mao.

398587931_d07417d6ba.jpg


mao_kiss.jpg
 
C

Contrarian

A graffiti from my wayward youth at the Reid Library at UWA:

"Here lies the body of dead-eye dick,
The only man with a corkscrew prick,
He searched the world back and front,
For a woman with a corkscrew cunt,
When he found one, he dropped down dead,
He found she had a left hand thread
 
C

Contrarian

His Grace The Archbishop of Cowles
Went around buggering owls
But the strength of his lust
Was such that the bust
So his grace now screws waterfowls
 
F

Farm Boy

Here lies poor Fred who was alive and is dead,
Had it been his father I had much rather,
Had it been his sister nobody would have missed her,
Had it been his brother, still better than another,
Had it been the whole generation, so much better for the nation,
But since it is Fred who was alive and is dead,
There is no more to be said!"
 

sqizza

Gold Member
Points
0
"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary" Brendan Bean

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." Winston Churchill

"Beam me up Scotty"
 
C

Contrarian

If it was any woman from Langtrees, the obituary or rather the inscription on the tombstone should say (wait for it)...

"FUCK ME DEAD!"
 

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
22
Or contrarion If he were a client of one of the lovely Langtrees ladies
"I tried to get away without paying"
 
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