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No sex at home

G

gmw131

Hi all. Just wondering if it is common in long term relationships for the sex and intamacy to dry up? I doesn't seem to matter what I do or try, I just can't get my other half interested in anything intimate.

It's coming up to 3 years since it has pretty much dried up and I can count on one hand the number of times I have had sex in this time.

What is everyone's thoughts?
 
Ahoy Welcome aboard
Please have an avatar, any pic will do. It is considered polite on this site to have an avatar, thank-you.
 
gmw131 said:
Hi all. Just wondering if it is common in long term relationships for the sex and intamacy to dry up? I doesn't seem to matter what I do or try, I just can't get my other half interested in anything intimate.

It's coming up to 3 years since it has pretty much dried up and I can count on one hand the number of times I have had sex in this time.

What is everyone's thoughts?
Click to expand...
Hi gmw131.
You are singing the song of my people.
I believe it is quite common in many marriages, mine included, that the intimacy wanes and sometimes dries up completely. I, like you, have five fingers on which to count and the cells in my hand are renewed every two years. On top of this is that when intimacy is grudgingly allowed, it can sometimes be a little less than half hearted, to the point of pointlessness. In which case, you find yourself not even bothering to try.

Now, I know this can be a two way street and it is our responsibility to try to understand what our partner my want or need, but when you have tried and tried without success, it becomes quite embarrassing as you feel yourself losing your manhood.

Nowadays I make a tentative move and when I get that oh so familiar initial rejection, I just roll over and go to sleep and dream of better things.

I love my wife and I will not be leaving her, but a man needs what a man needs. It's nature.
 
G'day Lord Spikey.

Yup, your story is very similar. Have you gone outside of your marriage to try and fulfill the need for intamacy?
 
Ok so if there is no sex inside a marriage is it okay then for both parties to look elsewhere for this either paid or non payment styled sex on the side, and not effect anything else inside of the sexless house and life sharing because that's all that it is, essentially sharing a life's journey, with climax... hmmm much like the share house in uni....
 
Phoebe said:
Ok so if there is no sex inside a marriage is it okay then for both parties to look elsewhere for this either paid or non payment styled sex on the side, and not effect anything else inside of the sexless house and life sharing because that's all that it is, essentially sharing a life's journey, with climax... hmmm much like the share house in uni....
Click to expand...

Could be a true reflection on how it could be. Only difference is that my partner has absolutely no desire (so she says) to look for sex withinor outside of our relationship. I feel that if there was at least some sex drive on her behalf, then intamacy on some level would be possible. If it was just desire for change and excitement we could always revisit our long lost swinging days.
 

It's really not that hard boys.
If you turn her on then she will want sex.
So figure out what makes her horny and you will get action.

...So simple...
:)

​
 
Teresa said:
It's really not that hard boys.
If you turn her on then she will want sex.
So figure out what makes her horny and you will get action.

...So simple...
:)

​
Click to expand...
yeh right, it's that simple eh?
sorry, i don't think you understand.
 
I liken it to McDoanlds. Lot's of people love to eat McDonalds, but image having the same burger every night for a whole year. After 3 years surely you'll want to try a lil bit of KFC :eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
I was in the same situation when I was married. There was no sex at all for over 10 years. Nothing I did helped at all. Others I talked to just assumed that everyone in the entire world has a sex drive so they said well she'll be getting it from somewhere, but that wasn't the case. She not only totally lost her sex drive but reacted to the idea like it was something gross. So both her physical need was gone and her psychological need for intimacy too was gone. I saw a relationship counselor and our doctor, but they wanted her to come along too and she said she didn't have a problem so wasn't going. Both counselor and doctor told me that this was actually much more common in relationships than people think. The counselor said that most people make out that their sex lives are great in their marriages but often it's the opposite and she said that it seems to be fairly balanced between genders. I personally have met women in relationships who've told me their guy has lost all interest and they have asked me if that is normal for guys and are wondering what's wrong with them.
 
Aaron said:
I liken it to McDoanlds. Lot's of people love to eat McDonalds, but image having the same burger every night for a whole year. After 3 years surely you'll want to try a lil bit of KFC :eek::eek::eek::eek:
Click to expand...

Burgers at McDonalds now you can create your own, so you could have a different one every day now, unlike KFC which if you eat chicken pieces is always delivered to you in a bucket.... I am sure as houses most men reading this don't wish for a bucket at home is that correct......
 
Phoebe said:
Burgers at McDonalds now you can create your own, so you could have a different one every day now, unlike KFC which if you eat chicken pieces is always delivered to you in a bucket.... I am sure as houses most men reading this don't wish for a bucket at home is that correct......
Click to expand...

Wow.... so deep for a Tuesday morning
Lol....
 
I was thinking create your own "burger" like the new menu at McDonalds. versus the bucket delivery method of chicken pieces..... you have filthy mind.....
 
dan60 said:
yeh right, it's that simple eh?
sorry, i don't think you understand.
Click to expand...

Oh I understand honey and if you think I don't then you don't understand what I am saying and that is part of your problem right there
 
I guess you need to get to the ROOT cause of the reason. Have you asked her why. If she says I don't feel like it, why doesn't she feel like it.

1. Are you being attentive enough to her needs when you do have sex, that makes her wanting to come back for more?

2. Is there medical reasons that needs to be checked. Deficiency or imbalance, not generating the required stimulation to desire sex.

But yes, its common in long term relationships for sex to not be as hot n heavy as before. Works both ways. Guys can lose interest too.
 
Okay guiz, my turn to speak up!

I've been in past relationships before that ended up sexless!

and in one of them it was my fault, the other it was his.

First guy I lost attraction, we tried horny goat weed, watching porn, putting it in the calendar, sex in crazy places, but I just wouldn't get turned on. And usually I'm a sex fiend!
So of course that ended.

Second guy was absolute crap in bed and had a low sex drive, nor did he want to even go down on my perrfect pussy. He thought 69 was for kids in high school ( he was 21)
Then when we did get around to having sex he was gone in 60 seconds and had no desire to help me get off.
So I banned sex from the relationship because to me what was the point?

If a woman is depressed or anxious she will have a low sex drive too.
Or menopause or any hormone imbalance really.

Try a counsellor or something even?

To me sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. :oops:
 
I've been in past relationships before that ended up sexless!

and in one of them it was my fault, the other it was his.

First guy I lost attraction, we tried horny goat weed, watching porn, putting it in the calendar, sex in crazy places, but I just wouldn't get turned on. And usually I'm a sex fiend!
So of course that ended.

Second guy was absolute crap in bed and had a low sex drive, nor did he want to even go down on my perrfect pussy. He thought 69 was for kids in high school ( he was 21)
Then when we did get around to having sex he was gone in 60 seconds and had no desire to help me get off.
So I banned sex from the relationship because to me what was the point?

If a woman is depressed or anxious she will have a low sex drive too.
Or menopause or any hormone imbalance really.

Try a counsellor or something even?

To me sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. :oops:[/QUOTE]
Imogen_Ray said:
Okay guiz, my turn to speak up!

I've been in past relationships before that ended up sexless!

and in one of them it was my fault, the other it was his.

First guy I lost attraction, we tried horny goat weed, watching porn, putting it in the calendar, sex in crazy places, but I just wouldn't get turned on. And usually I'm a sex fiend!
So of course that ended.

Second guy was absolute crap in bed and had a low sex drive, nor did he want to even go down on my perrfect pussy. He thought 69 was for kids in high school ( he was 21)
Then when we did get around to having sex he was gone in 60 seconds and had no desire to help me get off.
So I banned sex from the relationship because to me what was the point?

If a woman is depressed or anxious she will have a low sex drive too.
Or menopause or any hormone imbalance really.

Try a counsellor or something even?

To me sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. :oops:
Click to expand...

I always guarantee my partner/s are satisfied or i can't preform
 
There are more then one way to bring intamacy back in the relationship. Women just need more convincing then men.

Take a shower together, wash her, compliment her, compliment her body, give her a massage (if she's nude, lightly skim over her area, this could spark a little lust), hold hands in public, squeeze her butt lol

Write a cute letter, buy her a flower (a single red rose signifies lifelong love and devotion), give her back tickles, let her know you care by helping her with things, not just housework but something that will make her thank you (I don't know vaccuum her car) cook her dinner. Take things off her plate. Shes probably busy, stressed and tired.

Hygeine is another good one. Have you stopped wearing that sexy cologne she might of once loved? Have you stopped showering before bed? Trying to look good for her?

You cant change what she does. You can change what you do.
 
Ginger Spice said:
There are more then one way to bring intamacy back in the relationship. Women just need more convincing then men.

Take a shower together, wash her, compliment her, compliment her body, give her a massage (if she's nude, lightly skim over her area, this could spark a little lust), hold hands in public, squeeze her butt lol

Write a cute letter, buy her a flower (a single red rose signifies lifelong love and devotion), give her back tickles, let her know you care by helping her with things, not just housework but something that will make her thank you (I don't know vaccuum her car) cook her dinner. Take things off her plate. Shes probably busy, stressed and tired.

Hygeine is another good one. Have you stopped wearing that sexy cologne she might of once loved? Have you stopped showering before bed? Trying to look good for her?

You cant change what she does. You can change what you do.
Click to expand...

I KNOW I am taking a risk by posting before I get myself an avatar, but...
As my 2nd post here, Thank you, Ginger Spice.
Thank you for choosing DIRECTION, rather than BLAME.
:);)
 
SlippyOOOO said:
I KNOW I am taking a risk by posting before I get myself an avatar, but...
As my 2nd post here, Thank you, Ginger Spice.
Thank you for choosing DIRECTION, rather than BLAME.
:);)
Click to expand...

It is considered polite on here to have an avatar ;) (beat happypirate to it hehe)

Welcome to the forum slippy :) xx
 
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