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Have you been in love with more than one person at a time?

asianguy77

asianguy77

Diamond Member
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4
Have you ever been in love with more than one person at a time? Not lust, but actually a deep emotional connection with two people.

How did you make the choice...when both have different qualities, which attract you.
 
Bella Rose

Bella Rose

Silver Member
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0
Yes, I have.
Its pretty heart wrenching. My situation was a bit different though. So I was in a relationship for a few years and yes "cheated" on my then partner with an acquaintance in which I had very deep emotions I thought and still think was love. Unfortunately I didn't get to make the choice and in saying that maybe that's a good thing and things just panned out the way they were supposed too. The guy I was with found out and blew his top...the guy I was seeing didn't want to see me and ended it and to my sheer shock my partner still wanted to be with me.
This is all so esay to write but there is a lot more to it.
I suffered for a long time for falling in love with someone while I was still in love with someone else. All the feelings, Anger, guilt, shame, sad, lonely etc...
I really can't explain the feeling of one's heart completely breaking from losing someone while still holding onto to another love that's alive and wanting you .

My advice in this situation would be...if you do fall in love with 2 people..maybe be the one to step back and let people come forward and tell you that they love you and if you can honestly say you feel the same then say it back, but don't tell 2 people you love them, I think that causes too much confusion even if that is what you feel in your heart of hearts.
 
dc123

dc123

Gold Member
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This reminds me of a quote i once read "if you find yourself in love with two people, you should choose the second person you fell in love with, cause if you truely loved the first person, you never of would of fallen in love with the second"
 
Dallas

Dallas

Legend Member
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happypirate said:
Ahoy;- This thread is awaiting a Dallas answer
Click to expand...

LOL!! Well a few years ago I met two ladies who were already in a relationship together and we started out as friends and over time we all became closer and we all fell in love, and we became a three. It was complicated as there were three individual relationships to maintain plus the group one, but it was awesome and the best relationship I've ever been in :)
 
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asianguy77

asianguy77

Diamond Member
Points
4
Bella Rose said:
Yes, I have.
Its pretty heart wrenching. My situation was a bit different though. So I was in a relationship for a few years and yes "cheated" on my then partner with an acquaintance in which I had very deep emotions I thought and still think was love. Unfortunately I didn't get to make the choice and in saying that maybe that's a good thing and things just panned out the way they were supposed too. The guy I was with found out and blew his top...the guy I was seeing didn't want to see me and ended it and to my sheer shock my partner still wanted to be with me.
This is all so esay to write but there is a lot more to it.
I suffered for a long time for falling in love with someone while I was still in love with someone else. All the feelings, Anger, guilt, shame, sad, lonely etc...
I really can't explain the feeling of one's heart completely breaking from losing someone while still holding onto to another love that's alive and wanting you .

My advice in this situation would be...if you do fall in love with 2 people..maybe be the one to step back and let people come forward and tell you that they love you and if you can honestly say you feel the same then say it back, but don't tell 2 people you love them, I think that causes too much confusion even if that is what you feel in your heart of hearts.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing. Guess there is a sense of selfishness for being in love with 2 people. Sometimes its unfortunate also with timing.
 
Alexis Lily

Alexis Lily

Gold Member
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0
Dallas said:
LOL!! Well a few years ago I met two ladies who were already in a relationship together and we started out as friends and over time we all became closer and we all fell in love, and we became a three. It was complicated as there were three individual relationships to maintain plus the group one, but it was awesome and the best relationship I've ever been in :)
Click to expand...
How I would love one of those...
 
Dallas

Dallas

Legend Member
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Alexis Lily said:
How I would love one of those...
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You obviously have the right personality for it to say that, but finding two bi guys that can cope with it all in an emotionally stable way would be the hard part. A good balanced poly is a tough gig for all to manage - it's far more than the sex that most people seem to just think of, but if you all can cope with the complexities, the rewards are totally awesome! ... and yes, everyone fights over who's sleeping in the middle : )
 
Alexis Lily

Alexis Lily

Gold Member
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Dallas said:
You obviously have the right personality for it to say that, but finding two bi guys that can cope with it all in an emotionally stable way would be the hard part. A good balanced poly is a tough gig for all to manage - it's far more than the sex that most people seem to just think of, but if you all can cope with the complexities, the rewards are totally awesome! ... and yes, everyone fights over who's sleeping in the middle : )
Click to expand...
but two women too Dallas... Both ways would be a interesting yet rewarding equation, I would think.. x
 
Dallas

Dallas

Legend Member
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Alexis Lily said:
but two women too Dallas... Both ways would be a interesting yet rewarding equation, I would think.. x
Click to expand...

You are right! The hard part is for three people to find each other with that level of compatibility. It's hard enough for two people to find that which I guess is why it's so rare for three to be in a successful loving polyamorous relationship as opposed to a horrible polygamous one. Still, I'd much rather be single than in a bad relationship :/
 
Dallas

Dallas

Legend Member
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Sir Cruiser said:
One at a time for me, one is more than enough, does anybody really need two?
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I think it's more like could anyone cope with two? As we're talking a relationship and not a fun threesome, it's really challenging and requires lots of work and empathy and emotional resilience and while the benefits are doubled so are the problems. Actually if you've got two partners telling you off at the same time, it's like omg is this really happening lol! It's not something I'd go looking for yet if you find yourself slowly ending up in one it can be amazing : )
 
JamesW

JamesW

Bronze Member
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0
I have... And it never ends well, because you have to make a choice one over the other and this is the impossible decision. No matter whom you choose you are going to brake your own heart.
 
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