Paid a second visit to Lilly massage in High Wycombe today. (sometimes calls herself Minny) Her Facebook name is Kingdao Mueaifon...she advertises out of Facebook Market place and used to own a shop up in Stoneville. My first visit was a few weeks ago, she was a bit whiney then but the massage was very good. Today, not so:
I booked for 08:15 (she usually starts from 09:00 but whilst booking last night she offered me 08:00 or 08:30). I arrived at 08:12 and went into the front room of the house where the table is setup very nicely. She is a legit therapist, so those wanting extras should look elsewhere. She advertises $60 per hour, which is what I paid last time but wanted $65 this time. I suspect its gonna go up $5 per week.....
She was on the phone to a guy so I wait on the table...I can hear every word. After that call eventually ended she answered another one from a guy seeking a 9am appointment.
So 08:26 the massage starts. I start by asking her to focus on my lower back and legs as they are genuinely stiff and sore....her reply was "too short notice you need to book 2 hour 3 hour. My customer book 2,3,4,6 hour...." Her mood seemed a bit off from the start and she was saying this with some volume and apparent annoyance. I said I just got here when am I meant to tell you? I said I only have the hour and just focus on the lower half don't worry about shoulders, neck, upper back, arms. She said "that hip take 30 minute, that bit (leg) take 30 minute no time". I said ok, scrap that I am here anyway just do a relax massage. She said no will do proper massage.
She said "I just explaining..." to which I said that's fine but I don't have 6 hours for a massage lets just do what we can do in the hour. After her reply I said if its too much trouble I can leave...she said ok if you want go I have lots of customer. This is where I should have packed up and left...wish I did.
The massage was barely half the pressure of the one a few weeks earlier, and she left the table a few times to tend to things (I could not see what, probably her phone) At 08:45 there is a knock at the door, rent inspection. She was away from the table for at least 5 mins with the inspector and as it turned out, after doing the full inspection, walking past me on the table taking pictures of the house, the inspector had the wrong house and left. Minny spent the rest of the time leaving the table to look out the front 3 or 4 times, go outside and take a photo of the car, go to her room to check nothing stolen, she was totally distracted. (this inspection was not her fault, not mine either and I understand that)
At 09:13 she says that's it massage over then she goes outside to watch the inspectors car. Trying to work it out I got barely 20 mins of half pressure massage and another 20 mins of distracted massage. OI really wish I left when I had the chance. She made no apologies, no effort to make up lost time and asked for full payment...I mentioned the short time, she offered $5 back I said don't bother, and I won't be returning.
What does she look like you ask? She is 47, recently separated, tidy body about a size 6, not ugly, but after the first 10 mins I have some sympathy for the poor bastard that was married to her...keep running mate, don't look back. (she had a Thai husband)
Would I go back, not even for free. Clearly she has good days and bad...the first time was probably a good day, still plenty of whinging at the start but it was a good massage. Get a bad day like today and fuk it boys just walk. I have never felt so uncomfortable on a massage table before.
I don't usually like to give non-positive reviews of privates, but I think I need to contribute to this site and maybe save others the trouble. I do appreciate it when others share their bad experiences and warn me off girls I would have otherwise seen.
If others have better experiences, that's great. She will open a shop in Midland soon on Great Northern Highway between the pub and that Thai Noi restaurant, at which point the home massages will cease.
www.gumtree.com.au
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Such a funny story thanks for posting. You’re a very patient man.