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Can you have a great, long-lasting sex life with the same partner?

Dez

Dez

...the floor is lava
Legend Member
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0
Lord Spikey said:
Do we need a voice of reason here, to counteract the voice of naivety?
Of course, if you are talking about a long time being months, or a few years, then "Hell Yeh"
However, if you are talking long term as in many years, then don't be so bloody naive.
Ever heard of the "seven year itch"?
Nothing lasts forever, as Heraclitus said in 535BC "There is nothing more constant than change".

People change; they get bored, they get too familiar.
"Spice it up" I hear you say. How many spices are there. Couples who have been together 20 years have probably done it all; tried every flavour; given up; tried again and finally decided that this is now their life.

That's when the punting begins

Thank heaven for working ladies, eh?
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Thank heaven for working men too :p
 
Kell80

Kell80

Bronze Member
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I'm with you Lord Spikey. It may be possible for some, but for many I suspect not. People change. Experiences, circumstances shape people. It is a lot to ask of one person to fulfill all your wants and needs for a lifetime together. For many things we don't depend solely on our one and true love, but for sex, uh uh, you'd better not cheat. It's an unrealistic expectation for most people I think.
 
spankles

spankles

Bronze Member
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I think you can but I'm not sure that having kids helps things. I'd have sex every day if I had my way (we've been together almost 11 years). My wife doesn't quite share the same enthusiasm which is pretty disappointing. Once or twice a week is about it.

Losing a bit of quantity can be a positive or a negative I guess. Sometimes it feels hot to finally get it on, other times it feels like she just wants me off her back.
 
Dallas

Dallas

Legend Member
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Tania Desire said:
Realistically I can say for so far as now, yes.

We've been together for 11 years and the only imperfect thing about our sex life is not having enough time to have more. But It would be a lot easier going on the time if we weren't also trying to find time for our other preferences.

I think that what we have works really well for us because I'm so hard wired for pain play and I know that he's the only one I can get those needs met with. That in turn makes me want him more on a sexual level. Makes me more prone to want to make sure his needs and desires are met in return.

I think some people can get easily bored with one sex partner long term, but I'm just not wired that way. I have very clear boundaries with people and do not invite or allow physical contact with many people. For me the fact that my physical interaction with people is limited peaks that stimulation of intimacy when I'm with Him. It heightens those receptors for me and makes me more hungry for our sex, completely un interested in sex with other males.

(Shall I hand out spew bags now?)
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With the exception of the pain play, I totally get where you are coming from here.
 
Lacie4U

Lacie4U

Diamond Member
Points
5
spankles said:
I think you can but I'm not sure that having kids helps things. I'd have sex every day if I had my way (we've been together almost 11 years). My wife doesn't quite share the same enthusiasm which is pretty disappointing. Once or twice a week is about it.

Losing a bit of quantity can be a positive or a negative I guess. Sometimes it feels hot to finally get it on, other times it feels like she just wants me off her back.
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That's all normal..called life ..she is probably tired and maybe she needs you to just thank her for all the hard work she does and how much you want her and desire her..romance her a little be open and you may find out she fees similar but is feeling her own frustrations too...communication communication communication. I have been there its hard work but could be worth the investment...
 
N

Naughty Thoughts

I'm in the yes camp, but nowhere is it written that it is easy.

If someone asked me for advice (and nobody has :) ) I'd say to do your best to make the other person happy. You can't control what anyone else does (or doesn't do), you can only control yourself. If the other person does the same, then you can both become more than what either of you could be individually. When it isn't returned (or not perceived to), that's when things start breaking down.

I'm in a position where I can have deep and meaningful discussions with a wide variety of people, and a lot of what I hear is pirate talk... "I" want this "I" need that "I" wish... not too much on what they can provide, but lots on what they should be given. :(
 
T

Tania Admin

naughty thoughts said:
I'm in the yes camp, but nowhere is it written that it is easy.

If someone asked me for advice (and nobody has :) ) I'd say to do your best to make the other person happy. You can't control what anyone else does (or doesn't do), you can only control yourself. If the other person does the same, then you can both become more than what either of you could be individually. When it isn't returned (or not perceived to), that's when things start breaking down.

I'm in a position where I can have deep and meaningful discussions with a wide variety of people, and a lot of what I hear is pirate talk... "I" want this "I" need that "I" wish... not too much on what they can provide, but lots on what they should be given. :(
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Have I ever mentioned how much I love you?
download.png
 
LivinEpic

LivinEpic

Bronze Member
Points
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I'm leaning towards yes, It may be true that there will be a time where the physical experience isn't anything new or exciting any more, but what makes the sex good in a long term relationship is the emotional experience or connection in which one feels during sex. Its the intimate feeling of being in each others presence.
 
Buk

Buk

Diamond Member
Points
0
LivinEpic said:
I'm leaning towards yes, It may be true that there will be a time where the physical experience isn't anything new or exciting any more, but what makes the sex good in a long term relationship is the emotional experience or connection in which one feels during sex. Its the intimate feeling of being in each others presence.
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'The emotional experience or connection in which one feels during sex' is definitely the winner for me with the right lady. Alas, have never experienced this high emotion with a long term partner. Still, it is better to have experienced it and lost it than never to have experienced it at all.
 
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