What do you think of online dating?

[Spunkymunky]

Thanks sioxie i have already found a few identical usernames on those sites. At least i changed mine hehe!! So far, so good.....been chatting to a few nice guys but am taking it niiiiiiiiice and sloooooooow which is something new for me!

Hmmmm nice and slow still applies to the dating thing but i got drunk and horny last night and broke the drought! Oh joy let the rain come down!! No strings attached sex with an extremely hunky young man who i felt comfortable with cos i have known him for awhile now. Excellent sex. And i cannot wipe the smile off my face......

At the moment the online dating has stalled somewhat, i have been talking to a lovely guy who works on a farm but personal issued for me and the fact its seeding season means we wont have a chance to meet for awhile. I shall persevere though.

Still smiling hehe

 

[Malmensa]

Hmmmm nice and slow still applies to the dating thing but i got drunk and horny last night and broke the drought! Oh joy let the rain come down!! No strings attached sex with an extremely hunky young man who i felt comfortable with cos i have known him for awhile now. Excellent sex. And i cannot wipe the smile off my face......

Hmm, so how are you working this:

1. Taking it slow & not telling perspective long time partners you bang like a rabbit every so often?

2. Being honest & lettign him know all up front?

3. Only being honest after you have bonked him?

I think any way you manage things you are probably not being as open as you should, and are setting yourself up for tears. I am just having trouble figuring your motivation for taking things anomanously slowly for an LTR.

 

[Spunkymunky]

Well......by taking it slow i mean getting to know them before sleeping with them basically. As i have a history of not doing that which has ended in tears a few times. The guy on the weekend was a one off which was really just convenient to both of us.

The guys i talk to off the net i am upfront with about my sex drive. I am also clear in saying that i want to meet someone more permanent - not just a few one nighters.

Does that make sense?

I wont lie about anything to do with sex - i spent five years in a very unhappy relationship during which i denied a lot of my sexuality.

 

[aussie_single34]

Damn where was I Saturday night... lol

Or more the point... where were you

wonders where spunky gets drunk

 

[Spunkymunky]

Damn where was I Saturday night... lol

Or more the point... where were you

wonders where spunky gets drunk

Spunky is so utterly, totally stone cold broke at the moment she relies on the charity of others to get drunk. Luckily i have friends who share although they often have ulterior motives lol

 

[aussie_single34]

Checks wallet

hmmmmm

My motives are pure
Purely sexual .... lmao

 

[Spunkymunky]

Well you get a check in the box for honesty lol......

 

[aussie_single34]

I am nothing if not honest
And abit of a pervert

 

[Spunkymunky]

Just a bit?
I don't think so lol

 

[aussie_single34]

Shh... don't tell everyone
They will all want some

 

[Spunkymunky]

Soooo an update on my online adventures. I got temporarily distracted by some.....ahhhh.....somewhat amorous adventures but don't we all?

So the news - Friday night i have a date! I am going to a club in Perth with some girlfriends and one of the very nice boys i have been talking to off RSVP will be coming along. He has been forewarned that a) they will interrogate him a bit (the girls are pretty protective of their spunky) and b) this is the first night i have been out properly in months so i plan to have a few drinks. Drunken spunky trying to dance can be a pretty terrifying sight! He was quite happy with that. He seems like a nice guy. Only time will tell.

Of course now i am experiencing absolute terror at the whole prospect of meeting someone for the first time. I am really not good at this stuff! This may explain why i dyed my hair purple tonight. Whoops - dunno how i am going to explain that at school tomorrow.

The current favourite excuse is "a purple paint can fell on my head"

 

[aussie_single34]

There are other girls ?
Sexy desperate drunk girls ?

lmao

 

[Perthfun]

There are other girls ?
Sexy desperate drunk girls ?

lmao

"Soob puts hand up"
Any drunken desperate girls over 40 spunky??

That or just tell us where this Friday meet is and we will lurk in the shadows
"insert evil laugh.."
hehe

Chhers
K

 

[Spunkymunky]

Boys boys.....these are all sexy TAKEN women! With the exception of moi....who thinks she may be taken by the end of the night.

In more ways than one me hopes ahaha.

 

[aussie_single34]

Taken.... wow
So not swingers then.... lol

 

[Isabella11]

Can't say I'm a fan of internet 'dating'. Most of the guys I've met on sites like RSVP have loads of baggage. Whereas the guys I've met through sites like AFF may have baggage, but it hasn't mattered because as long as their cock looked like the one I saw on their profile I didn't really care :icon_blow.

 

[Spunkymunky]

Haha Isabella thats a very good point well i had my date and i cant decide if it was a success or not. The guy was very nice, very sweet and very, VERY shy which is the TOTAL opposite of every guy i have ever dated. So shy it was hard to have a conversation with him and i didnt feel any attraction.

Friends keep telling me that i should give him another go and see if the attraction grows but i am not sure....i was sort of going on the theory that there has to be SOMETHING there to start with. Maybe i am being too picky.

Meeting people sucks.

 

[2curiousperth]

It can go either way. One time I started dating a girl with whom there was no real chemistry mainly because we had sex almost straight away, but the chemistry still hadn't formed even after a few weeks (and more sex). On the other hand the first time I met my wife she was really quiet and shy (and incidentally didn't give me sex the first night) and it took a while for her to open up but she has turned out to be a real keeper. So on balance I would probably give this guy another go if I were you.

 

[Isabella11]

Oh Spunky - let him go!!! No attraction/chemistry = BORING.... and if a relationship ever did get off the ground you'd find yourself back on this site looking for fun :icon_blow

 

[Spunkymunky]

I have in the last few years let myself loose a little and discovered i am a very sexual person. I think that i need someone i am sexually compatible with......i dated/hooked up with two guys with limited sex drive and it drove me nuts. Then i met a guy who who was all for it (gotta love a young fella!) but a permanent thing with him isn't an option. So i dont know......deep inside i feel like i have to have SOME chemistry with them.

 

[sumguy]

Haha Isabella thats a very good point well i had my date and i cant decide if it was a success or not. The guy was very nice, very sweet and very, VERY shy which is the TOTAL opposite of every guy i have ever dated. So shy it was hard to have a conversation with him and i didnt feel any attraction.

Friends keep telling me that i should give him another go and see if the attraction grows but i am not sure....i was sort of going on the theory that there has to be SOMETHING there to start with. Maybe i am being too picky.

Meeting people sucks.

If you can see some potential in him, I would say try 2 more dates. Might give the guy a chance to warm up.

Try doing something different than club or pub.
Why did you choose this guy in the first place?

Since he was the opposite of what you are accustomed to, maybe you are feeling uncomfortable/lost because you need to do things differently.

I had that problem with a girl I once knew. She was accustomed to being treated like shit so she didn't know how to react when I treated her with respect.

Still waters run deep, or so they say...

 

[Spunkymunky]

Thats what people keep telling me....that i am used to assholes so don't know how to cope with the nice guy. I just started chatting to him one night so i guess he kinda chose me. We went for the pub/club because my friends wouldn't let me meet him on my own - there was an "incident" the last time i met someone from the net on my own! But he was cool with that.

 

[sumguy]

Just so you know - I am no expert on dating, (well anything really), in fact I probably suck the knowledge out of people when I speak to them about meeting people, so they know less after talking to me.

But I digress...

Try lunch somewhere. I've been told that lunch is more relaxing since it doesn't have the expectation of "coffee" at the end of the night. Whilst I am sure it wouldn't stop anyone from "gettin' bizzay!" if they wanted to, the purpose of your dates is to like the person, rather than the bod. Plus you can see if he is a tightwad or not ;-)

Have you contacted his since to see what he thought of your meeting?

 

[Spunkymunky]

He thought it went well, he apologised for being shy. If my dancing didn't scare him off he must be okay lol. He isn't a tight wad he bought me and my friend a drink (without us asking). I am thinking lunch can't hurt.

 

[CathyDomme]

He thought it went well, he apologised for being shy. If my dancing didn't scare him off he must be okay lol. He isn't a tight wad he bought me and my friend a drink (without us asking). I am thinking lunch can't hurt.

I think lunch is the perfect date for someone you meet on the net. For a start it gives me the confidence that if things aren't going well I can do the old, "So it was fun but I have to go to my mothers for dinner.... see you round!"

On a couple of occasions it has led to dinner , a pub and then "coffee" as well.... so that is also a plus.

Just because of who I am, I tend to attract freaks with internet dating. That is fine if that is what I am after, and lets face it sometimes a good freak is definitely worth the effort LOL, but as for a serious relationship I have never found the net the best place to find someone. In fact I have never found a serious relationship on the net, but I am not going to give up trying. Perhaps I have been looking in the wrong places.

Cathy

 

[plastercast]

i think three dates is definitely the limit, you can always tell if things are going to be really bad on the first date. otherwise some people need time to open up and it ain't always easy.

 

[Spunkymunky]

Thanks CathyDomme and plastercast....i just have so much trouble meeting guys so i resorted to the net. During the week i am out in the country and there arent any single blokes around here and on weekends my friendship group is pretty small. I am not very good at going out!!

 

[Larry83]

I definetly agree, i think a lunch or something would be great, just be careful of the movies, most the time it makes it so you cant talk, but at least if you go someplace neutral, you both can relax, and speak easily or at least have more of a chance.
(im definetly no expert, but i have always found the best conversations have been on neutral territory, where its easy and relaxing and no pressure on time or anything else)

All in all i think you will be fine, just need to relax, so you both can be comfortable. Best of luck.

 

[azazel87]

I agree with Larry, Lunch is the perfect setting for a date when you're first meeting someone. During the day, the expectations of having a meeting at night (the whole lets get drunk and shag thing) aren't so prevalent.

And as Larry said, Lunch is so much more casual and relaxing than dinner, especially if you follow it up with a walk around the city (if you happen to be dining in or near the CBD.) Walking around afterwards allows the conversation to flow properly, because looking in shop windows gives you something else to think about other than "My god I'm on a date I wander if he/she likes me!"

That being said, I've had a couple of experiences with internet dating, and I'm a little bit blase about it, probably because I've never met an intelligent girl who can hold a conversation, whilst still sparking my interest. But who know's what the future holds hey?

 

[sumguy]

He thought it went well, he apologised for being shy. If my dancing didn't scare him off he must be okay lol. He isn't a tight wad he bought me and my friend a drink (without us asking). I am thinking lunch can't hurt.

I would have though offering to buy someone a drink was common courtesy in that situation, but maybe I am just a soft touch.

I know women talk about being equals, but if men didn't offer to pay for things on a date, how would that be viewed, (seriously, because I don't know)?

In any case, I'm sure you will get a better idea after another date. It could just be he is great to talk to on the net but there is no magic between you.

Best of luck.