Would you stay in a relationship if your partner was unable to give you the Big O?

[Nina Stone]

My ex partner and I had a fantastic sex life.

Unfortunately he was never able to get me there, no matter what he did or how hard we both tried to make it happen. He specifically asked me not to fake it, and only tell him if it genuinely happened…

For me this didn’t affect our relationship in any way, because there were obviously other reasons aside from the physical that kept me there. It became an issue for him though, and that ultimately did affect the relationship in the end.

I wanted to ask however, who here has been in a relationship where you were unable to reach climax with your partner? How did this affect you both, and was it a deal breaker at all?

Super interested to hear other’s experiences on this topic!

Thanks for sharing,

NS x

 

[mrys]

After our second child my 2nd wife could not achieve an orgasm. Try as we might it just wouldn't happen. In the end she gave up wanting to try and sex didn't happen. We stayed together for another 18 years for the sake of the kids in a relationship that was platonic but caring. By virtue of the fact that she was my second wife the outcome/effect is clear in the longer term. We are still good friends but I'm making up for lost time with woman that adore multiple O's

 

[Nina Stone]

After our second child my 2nd wife could not achieve an orgasm. Try as we might it just wouldn't happen. In the end she gave up wanting to try and sex didn't happen. We stayed together for another 18 years for the sake of the kids in a relationship that was platonic but caring. By virtue of the fact that she was my second wife the outcome/effect is clear in the longer term. We are still good friends but I'm making up for lost time with woman that adore multiple O's

Thank you so much for sharing on your experience @mrys . It’s one of those weird things I have found to be a common experience as a woman, which can be quite commonplace for all kinds of reasons, such as those you have personally outlined here.

Achieving orgasm can be elusive sometimes, and I don’t think it has anything to do with something anyone is doing wrong.

I truly believe it’s just one of those things we might encounter in life. All things ebb and flow I suppose…

Adversely, I’ve heard some women’s orgasms becoming even more intense after having their children.

I guess it’s just one of those things we will never truly know the answer to, and therefore we should enjoy the fantastic orgasms we do get to experience with the fullest parts of our body, and soul x

 

[voyuerism]

Orgasms start in the brain .. I think that's the issue , not the partner or ones own body. But I know that's not an answer in itself ..

I can orgasm with others , but can't even get hard with wife ..

And to answer the threads question .. I have stayed .. 38yrs so far
And so it is ..

 

[johnmatilda]

Orgasms start in the brain .. I think that's the issue , not the partner or ones own body. But I know that's not an answer in itself ..

I can orgasm with others , but can't even get hard with wife ..

And to answer the threads question .. I have stayed .. 38yrs so far
And so it is ..

Agree. I posted elsewhere that I find feminine women very attractive even if they are not close to 9/10. On the other hand, I can find a 9/10 beautiful but not attractive due to the lack of femininity. A lot of it is in the mind but of course not all.

And respect for staying for 38 years so far. Presumably you managed this feat because you went shopping for the big O elsewhere!

 

[johnmatilda]

My ex partner and I had a fantastic sex life.

Unfortunately he was never able to get me there, no matter what he did or how hard we both tried to make it happen. He specifically asked me not to fake it, and only tell him if it genuinely happened…

For me this didn’t affect our relationship in any way, because there were obviously other reasons aside from the physical that kept me there. It became an issue for him though, and that ultimately did affect the relationship in the end.

I wanted to ask however, who here has been in a relationship where you were unable to reach climax with your partner? How did this affect you both, and was it a deal breaker at all?

Super interested to hear other’s experiences on this topic!

Thanks for sharing,

NS x

It's possible that you were just not attracted to him and he didn't give you the tingles? Or maybe he was a good guy?

 

[Jamie Jackson]

I met my ex partner when we were in high school, while the sex wasn’t awful it wasn’t fantastic either.
I did however think it was just down to us being young and not in tune with our bodies. After a few years together it turned into special occasion sex (as if we were in our 80’s) .
Long story short, it turns out he is very A-sexual.
Since the breakup, I’ve been having plenty of O’s.

 

[asianguy77]

Sometimes the harder you try the more elusive it becomes.

It's another of life's dichotomies.

Don't search and it will come is another.

 

[Puklovo83]

Sometimes I don’t even care if I do or don’t but my partner feels like it’s offensive if I don’t.