When good deeds turn into Ego trips...

[Master Yoda]

In the past 2 decades I have always thought that my heart was ALWAYS in the right place. Now as I look back with new insight I see that every single time in every occasion it starts out as a good deed or a mission for the greater good. Or even just expression of my thoughts.

Where it ends up after some applause, recognition, and results is that my ego kicks in and my intentions turn towards self fulfilling. And ultimately self obsessing. Following that are the actions of a dick. And the results and reactions that follow are not hard to predict.

Being aware and carrying on from where I left off is still a balancing act to be effective and keeping the ego in check. Of late everyday has been about solving someones problems. It is what I ask for so it is what I get. That is a universal law.

Has anyone else discovered that in themselves, others, or even me if you know me and care to share some opinions and insights?

 

[HappyPirate]

Ahoy, if you treat people with respect, your hope;----is that respect will be given in return. It work`s most of the time. Hence this a view point of fantasy versus reality.
Cheers and Pass the Rum

 

[svengali]

Kahlil Gibran said it best in "The Prophet" Some of his thoughts on giving are here:

Then said a rich man, "Speak to us of Giving."
And he answered:
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?
There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth. ............................

There is more here:

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/prophet/prophet.htm

 

[colzilla]

Most people aren't worth it, it's as simple as that.

 

[Master Yoda]

Thank you Sven

This prophet has organized a clusterfluff of thoughts and emotions into a digestable chapter.

Yes.....what I recognise my past actions is that when I give what is insignificant to me like a couple of dollars to a homeless person. I am sparing...not sharing. Actions like that attract scarcity.

And when I was seeking recognition in helping I was being selfish. Thus that is what I got in return.

When I did it for feeling the joy of seeing the other persons happiness I attracted happiness.

But here's the new thing I learned. If I am helping or contributing to another out of second nature with no attachments. Then I really must let go of any outcome in what effect doing a good deed may have on me. Often an empty feeling can be labeled as something bad. Or nothingness can just be peace.

Readers forgive the mouthful lol. This is me thinking raw thoughts out loud.

 

[colzilla]

Your homeless friend can now spend the money on the demon drink... So you are happy, he's happy and his dealer is happy. It's a win win.

 

[Master Yoda]

Maybe....maybe not. I am reluctant to hand and fifty to most because of such reasons.

However guys like John rhe friendly hobo who is the well known smiling old homeless guy in Northbridge appreciates a little conversation and a slice of pizza. And maybe $20 bucks. If he wants to have a half decent meal with a beer then its up to him.

Others like the animated one called Jason does not have people willing to give him eye contact often as his passionate expression of his beliefs scare people sometimes. But he is over the moon when someone sits with him for half an hour and listens.

I get your message. One must be mind ful not to encourage bad habits.

Yet I believe that if I was to judge them like that and so did everyone else. They may as well be doing all the bad things.

 

[colzilla]

Sure bets going to work if people just give you money. Easier to prey on peoples guilt.
Those put upon souls.

 

[Master Yoda]

Agreed. ..would be cool not to work. But I don't know there burdens.

And speaking for myself I don't spend time and give to others out of guilt.

 

[colzilla]

Why is a homeless persons problems any more important than anyone else's?

 

[Master Yoda]

I believe everyone's problems are significant and everyone wants and deserves some kindness and attention.

 

[colzilla]

There's only one person who can fix my problems and that's me.

If you want kindness and attention look from within.

 

[Master Yoda]

Absolutely. ...and when I find it. I express it.

 

[homer]

Give and expect nothing in return and you shall strike the jackpot...lol...

 

[Justbe:)]

Master Yoda & Col : You guys are bloody awesome! Love it

 

[colzilla]

I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect.

 

[Master Yoda]

Lol....Love it Col..... Well.... When I was conceited I thought I was perfect. Now....I'm just as special as everyone else.

 

[colzilla]

What's with the name change Mr Y?... Are you not masterful any more?

 

[Master Yoda]

Oh....you noticed.....

That's a name from my narcissistic past. A self appointed master is not a Master. Mastership is granted by others. So I gave it up since I don't feel I deserve that.

Whether am Masterful or not? I am the last one you should ask. As it is not for me to judge.

If I am to be called a Master, it should be granted by others. Not Self Appointed

 

[colzilla]

Don't know about that. I'll call myself whatever the F I like... Emperor has always had a nice ring to it I think.

Excellency... Emperor ColZilla.

 

[Master Yoda]

I'd call you SIR COLZILLA....You seem certain with anything you say......

 

[colzilla]

Emperor is fine Mr Y... Personally I think Master is your thingy.

Master meaning you've mastered something i.e Punting

 

[Master Yoda]

Sire.....

Omg.......hahahaha.....Thank you...you are kind. Yet tell me what is there to Master when it comes to paying for it? I enjoyed it and probably more than most did . Yes.... Yet what is there to master?

 

[colzilla]

Enjoyment went out the door ages ago.
Well you've probably learnt a few trade secrets along the way through trial and error... Once you are in the room you're more or less on your own.

 

[Master Yoda]

So you don't enjoy it?

Enjoyment went out the door ages ago.
Well you've probably learnt a few trade secrets along the way through trial and error... Once you are in the room you're more or less on your own.


So you don't enjoy it?

 

[colzilla]

For most blokes hooker$ are a temporary solution to their problems... I've done it for so long it's just something I do.
Interesting fun I guess.

 

[Master Yoda]

I stopped punting all together some nearly a year ago when it no longer served a purpose.

It served different purposes at different times along the years. The final purpose was to inflate my EGO about being a MASTER OF PUNTING. That was stupid........

However....I'm contemplating rediscovering a punt as a NEWBIE....

 

[colzilla]

They're still women... That's why it's interesting

 

[Master Yoda]

It's awesome when its interesting.....but most of the time its familiar and it feels nice.

 

[colzilla]

The most interesting times are when they are upset with me... No need to get up$et I'm just a John/Trick