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Virtues of Viagra

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Toon Hoon Flasher

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.

'Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."

'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.'

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. 'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'

'What happened?' asks the doctor.

'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.'

'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'was the sex not good?'

"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again.
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

The Top 10 Marketing Slogans For Viagra:

* Viagra, The quicker dicker upper

* Viagra, One-a-day, like iron

* Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight

* Viagra, Home of the whopper

* Viagra, It plumps when you take 'em

* Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

* Viagra, Tastes great, more filling

* Viagra, Ten inches long ... and growing.

* Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to.

* This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour."

"Perfect," she replies.

The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits.

An hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife . . .

She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."

The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks.

The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"

"Yes" the man replied.

"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.

The man then replied with dismay...

"But I don't need Viagra with the housekeeper..."
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent."

The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and said, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."

The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."

The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy, goes up to the
pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay."

The pharmacist replies, "Ben Gay? You're not going to put Ben Gay on that are you?"

The man says, "No, it's for my arms - the girls didn't show up."
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR VIAGRA IS WORKING:

- At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats.

- Your face is very pale due to lack of blood. - When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds. They begin to call you "the tripod."

- You begin to think your mother in law is pretty.

- Sunbathing nude outside standing: Birds perch on it.

- Sunbathing nude outside lying down: You look like a sundial.

- Everyone at the bank, grocery, etc... lets you go to the front of the line...

- Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar.

- You always lose limbo contests.

- Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.

- You can make drawings in the sand without having to find a stick.

- You like to sleep on your back, so you had to remove the ceiling fan
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

Bob and Bill, two eighty year olds were discussing their sex lives.

Bob said, "Bill, I hear they have a new drug out that helps you have sex and I think it's called Viagra."

Bill said, "Can you get it over the counter?"

Bob thought for a while and said, "Maybe if you take two you can."
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

The makers of Viagra are announcing that they have developed a pill to increase vaginal wetness in females. The new pill will be called Niagra.
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

An Russian man is walking through a bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell him some illegal Viagra for 100 rubles. "No, not worth it!"

"OK, how about 50 rubles?"

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, 20?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 10?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost $10 American each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh, the pills are worth it, it's my wife that is not worth it."
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

Last night, the Pharmacy in the General Store on the corner was robbed. Two men entered the back, with all the prescription drugs and stole the entire supply of Viagra. The police are now looking for a pair of hardened criminals.
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

One morning a long-wed couple were in an amourous embrace and the wife says: "Honey, that Viagra is so wonderful, let me fix us a nice full breakfast... eggs, bacon, toast..."
The husband says: "No, I'm not hungry, the viagra takes away my appetite."

Later in the day, the wife says: "Sweetheart, I want to do something for you, let me fix you a nice wholesome lunch, fresh salad with your favorite ingredients, steamed veggies, and some grilled fish fillets..."

The husband again refuses, "I'm just not hungry after using that viagra."

Long about dinner time, the wife tries again, "Are you hungry yet?, I'll fix a steak and potatoes dinner with hot rolls."

The husband still refuses, "No, that Viagra just kills my appetite."

The wife then firmly says "well, I'm getting something to eat, so get OFF of me!!!"
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

A man goes to his doctors and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"

"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."

So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.

A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street.

"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"

"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't been home yet."
 
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Toon Hoon Flasher

What happened to the lawyer when he took Viagra??? He got taller.
 
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viking32

like it heaps sat....so good to have you back,,here,,,,put a smile on our faces again,,,lol,,thank you..from viking
 
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