The Boundaries of Friendship

[Roxy Rabbit]

So I have a lovely friend who I'm pretty sure has a crush on me and since I've been away he seems to have this tendency to be commenting on my 'sexy arse' and 'amazing body'! Unfortunately this morning I asked him to stop making these comments and I wanted to hear different things from my friends! He got a little upset I think- I haven't led him on in the past or anything like that-and I guess I'm wanting to know from the clientele and the lovely ladies of Langtrees where is the line in the sand? Is it generally accepted that that is a case by case and personal thing? Is there a definite line that a man shouldn't cross if he wishes to have a friendship with a lady that isn't attracted to him- even if he is attracted her? And does it generally work both ways? And most of all- do you men find that woman such as myself have that line in a different place compared to say a female that isn't in the sex industry?

 

[Thatguy]

Boundaries of friendship...

hard one to answer... given they are so blurry in my life right at this moment with a rather special young lady... who knows anymore...

 

[Roxy Rabbit]

'Thatguy' your right the boundaries are very blurred these days so much so that it also begs the question- between friends what is an acceptable compliment and what is flirtation! The funny thing is that the reason I decided to put the question to the forum is that I have found that depending on my own personal mood and state of mind will depend on where that line in the sand is! I understand that this then makes it a lot harder for friends to toe that line- but if you are true friends should they be able to make that judgement themselves? Oh how I find social politics mind boggling

 

[Thatguy]

well given my 'friend' and i just spent bout the last 8 hours on my couch in various stages of locked lips and almost ended up in the bedroom...

but for reasons we cant pursue a relationship..

ill let you decide..

 

[Roxy Rabbit]

It's a really fine line that I think can only be determined by those involved! You must have a great understanding between. You and your 'friend', that's surely love and respect of a unique kind!

 

[Punk Zebra]

There was a very special girl I had been seeing for sometime, it seemed we liked each other from the beginning. I even had her private number along with her adding me to FB. One Saturday afternoon I had the most memorable time ever with a WL. When contacted her a week later to make a booking, she went to great lengths to tell me that she wanted us to revert back to what happened the first time I saw her,I.E a nude HJ. She just wanted to massage me then do a nude HJ nothing else was to happen. Anyway visited her that day, spent most of the time talking. When I was leaving told her that as I was too strongly attached to her & I could not comply with her requests that it was best I no longer visit her, her lips quivered & tears welled in her eyes. I kissed her goodbye & to this day have not seen her. All though I am visiting other WL she is someone I could never forget

 

[HappyPirate]

Ahoy, very tough question we as individuals all have a view on boundaries. If it does not feel right stay behind your boundaries, go by your own instincts;- good luck
Cheers and Pass the Rum

 

[happytimes]

It's a really fine line that I think can only be determined by those involved! You must have a great understanding between. You and your 'friend', that's surely love and respect of a unique kind!

Yeah what happens when a Lady wants to fuck you but as a good friend your not into her but will always be a friend. I have seen to many friendships gone wrong because of this, so i will keep it that way.

 

[Castro]

Well, I guess the term "friend"is quite broad. It depends what else you do together aside from him passing comments about how beautiful your body is. I've had female friends who would generally discuss with me genuine issues about their lives e.t.c, On odd occasions we would talk about fun stuff too but it was usually very contained and not a lot of flirting was involved. Such people always respected my opinion on things we would talk about. In such situations the boundaries establish themselves as there is usually a show of respect from both sides. So you need to define your friendship to him based on what he actually means to you. If your friendship is a flirtatious one where serious conversations don't usually take place, then surely you should expect a bit of naughtiness coming from him too.

 

[Brontee]

That why my best friend is gay, no weird sexual tension between us. However, we can really talk about anything and are always getting along. And the best thing is that I love his boyfriend of one year as well, so instead of having one really best friend, I have two now

 

[sunyun]

'Thatguy' your right the boundaries are very blurred these days so much so that it also begs the question- between friends what is an acceptable compliment and what is flirtation! The funny thing is that the reason I decided to put the question to the forum is that I have found that depending on my own personal mood and state of mind will depend on where that line in the sand is! I understand that this then makes it a lot harder for friends to toe that line- but if you are true friends should they be able to make that judgement themselves? Oh how I find social politics mind boggling

The real answer is that the line is in your mind, and therefore can change.

At the end of the day, the line is what makes you feel uncomfortable. If I am doing something that makes my friend uncomfortable, and she tells me, then I will stop immediately, because I don't want to make my friends uncomfortable.

If he is a true friend, then you should be able to say, "Look these comments are making me feel a bit uncomfortable, can we move on please."

If he takes that badly, then perhaps he was never really the 'friend' you thought he was. If he is a true friend, then even if he was attracted to you, he should be able to say he was sorry if he offended you and he will back off.

If he does, not, then he is probably a 'friend' you are better off without.

Yes, it is hard, and every situation id different. You have to play it by ear.

Good luck !

 

[Roxy Rabbit]

The real answer is that the line is in your mind, and therefore can change.

At the end of the day, the line is what makes you feel uncomfortable. If I am doing something that makes my friend uncomfortable, and she tells me, then I will stop immediately, because I don't want to make my friends uncomfortable.

If he is a true friend, then you should be able to say, "Look these comments are making me feel a bit uncomfortable, can we move on please."

If he takes that badly, then perhaps he was never really the 'friend' you thought he was. If he is a true friend, then even if he was attracted to you, he should be able to say he was sorry if he offended you and he will back off.

If he does, not, then he is probably a 'friend' you are better off without.

Yes, it is hard, and every situation id different. You have to play it by ear.

Good luck !

Wise words sunyun! This is true and I think your right as I try never to make my friends feel uncomfortable with the things I say aswell!!! Note taken and is great food for thought as I sit here eating a yummy breakfast!! Mwah thanks for the post!

 

[sunyun]

Wise words sunyun! This is true and I think your right as I try never to make my friends feel uncomfortable with the things I say aswell!!! Note taken and is great food for thought as I sit here eating a yummy breakfast!! Mwah thanks for the post!

Hi Roxy, you're welcome.

Remember that you are fully entitled to feel comfortable and really relaxed when you're with your friends - that's what friends are for !

Cheers.

 

[Bitoutthere]

I had a female friend who was my best friend and for four years we became very close and I wanted to begin a relationship with her and I thought she wanted the same but my fear was that if it didnt work I would or could loose someone very dear to me. Well oneday I took a gamble and we hooked up and wwre together for 8 months, got engaged but she passed away at 20 yrs old. I wasted 4 years being afraid of something that turned out to be (even though short) the best and wonderful time spent with my best friend.

In regards to your situation, if you don't feel the same about him and only see gim as a friend, let him know but if you do like him take a chance, who knows it maybe something great.

 

[Eva Valentina]

That is so bitter sweet Bitoutthere, So sad for your loss.

 

[Bitoutthere]

That is so bitter sweet Bitoutthere, So sad for your loss.

Thank you Eva. I have was very lucky and privileged to have that time with T, she taught me what love is and was all about and it is why I now treasure my wife and love doing our sexual activities together.

 

[aussie_single34]

The line in the sand is where you want to draw it... regardless of what industry your in

However as a guy I like to know the score
And even after you tell me it will never go anywhere I'll still flirt with you if I want to...and if your not offended by it... I just do it for fun knowing the cards are on the table and things won't change
You don't need to lose a friend because you won't sleep with them...or even if you do
Some of my best friends are my ex's... which tends to drive my current girlfriend (none atm) at the time around the twist

 

[Bluegrass9]

Friendship is a beautiful thing.
I believe time shows what is accepted for a friendship.
The boundaries vary and not always the same for everyone.