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I've been struggling with my head regarding BDSM due to a heartbreaking separation from my past.
But in Canberra I've stumbled upon an incredibly sweet man, we started dating and I found myself reverting back to submission after being together for a while. Normally it's something I'm guarded and careful with but I seem to automatically physically submit to him.
He's not kink or BDSM orientated and yet the words he uses, the actions he makes, a lot of the time I find myself subconsciously responding accordingly to them.
Just simple things around the home and friends, if all seats are full I'm content so sit at his feet (occassionally nudging his hand and getting my hair tousled), If I'm doing something for/around him that I need to sit I'll end up kneeling while I do it. I walk on his left side, wait for him to eat first...
It's scary but at the same time he doesn't realise he's doing it and neither do I until I've had a bad day.
And then there's times when it's so blissful, he knows some of my subspace triggers and tends to know the right times to use them, it's nice to be able to love and in a way slowly seep back into the world with someone who is scary/loving/protective/encouraging.
Perhaps one day he'll open the door the whole way and fall down the rabbit hole with me >.<
Just thoughts at a silly time of morning
But in Canberra I've stumbled upon an incredibly sweet man, we started dating and I found myself reverting back to submission after being together for a while. Normally it's something I'm guarded and careful with but I seem to automatically physically submit to him.
He's not kink or BDSM orientated and yet the words he uses, the actions he makes, a lot of the time I find myself subconsciously responding accordingly to them.
Just simple things around the home and friends, if all seats are full I'm content so sit at his feet (occassionally nudging his hand and getting my hair tousled), If I'm doing something for/around him that I need to sit I'll end up kneeling while I do it. I walk on his left side, wait for him to eat first...
It's scary but at the same time he doesn't realise he's doing it and neither do I until I've had a bad day.
And then there's times when it's so blissful, he knows some of my subspace triggers and tends to know the right times to use them, it's nice to be able to love and in a way slowly seep back into the world with someone who is scary/loving/protective/encouraging.
Perhaps one day he'll open the door the whole way and fall down the rabbit hole with me >.<
Just thoughts at a silly time of morning
