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Thatguy
So when you get a feeling someone is just messing you around.. what do you do?
I just move on bro.......
But of course it depends on the context of your situation.
But of course it depends on the context of your situation.
C
colzilla
MY is right but perhaps a GF thrown in for good measure.
Don't go soft on them because they're female... Plenty more fish in the sea.
Don't go soft on them because they're female... Plenty more fish in the sea.
Really depends on the situation. Sometimes it is a lot better for you to book it as 'experience' and learning curve and walk away. Other times it might be better to kick up a stink or talk about it or just messing back.
The only thing that doesn't change regardless of the situation........stay away from the person in question.
R.xxxxxxx
The only thing that doesn't change regardless of the situation........stay away from the person in question.
R.xxxxxxx
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Tania Admin
Hmmmm, I must admit I am curious to know a little more about the situation before sharing an opinion/advice. Can you elaborate a little please 
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Thatguy
long story short...
someone who was up until recently my closest friend.. little sister like.. and also whom I share my profession with and have mentored her ...
well she recently decided we have to curtail our friendship due to various reasons.. but she still wants me to mentor and teach her and help her progress more into the field we are in..
and I feel this puts me in an unfair position.. as I have lost my closest friend, my "lil sis".. but that she still wants the mentoring is a little unfair and I feel, sometimes, I am being used and taken advantage off as she knows I can teach her alot and help her succeed in our area..
someone who was up until recently my closest friend.. little sister like.. and also whom I share my profession with and have mentored her ...
well she recently decided we have to curtail our friendship due to various reasons.. but she still wants me to mentor and teach her and help her progress more into the field we are in..
and I feel this puts me in an unfair position.. as I have lost my closest friend, my "lil sis".. but that she still wants the mentoring is a little unfair and I feel, sometimes, I am being used and taken advantage off as she knows I can teach her alot and help her succeed in our area..
P
peterd
I think you should mentor her but expalin you have a small amount of time to give to it. Relationships change overtime
Are you romantic about her?
Peterd
Are you romantic about her?
Peterd
svengali
Foundation Member
Ah, the workplace professional/personal relationship.
It sounds as though you may be senior to her? If so she could be placed in an awkward position if other workers perceive that she is getting special treatment and it won't take long for the "green-eyed monster" to rear its head, particularly among women.
If that is the case she is right to insist you draw a firm line between work and personal relationships. This is not a bad idea in any case.
It sounds as though you may be senior to her? If so she could be placed in an awkward position if other workers perceive that she is getting special treatment and it won't take long for the "green-eyed monster" to rear its head, particularly among women.
If that is the case she is right to insist you draw a firm line between work and personal relationships. This is not a bad idea in any case.
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Thatguy
Peterd.. at one stage yes.. i would have pursued a relationship but we ended up settling into a good friendship instead and thats all we wanted.
Whilom.. nope im single...
sven... we were personal friends before we were colleagues.. in fact I helped her get the job as she wanted to pursue the same part of our profession that I am in... ive been IN the profession longer then her but in this role we are actually the same level.. just I have been doing it longer.. but that aside.. we already knew each other a while before she became a colleague... so personal was before professional...
Whilom.. nope im single...
sven... we were personal friends before we were colleagues.. in fact I helped her get the job as she wanted to pursue the same part of our profession that I am in... ive been IN the profession longer then her but in this role we are actually the same level.. just I have been doing it longer.. but that aside.. we already knew each other a while before she became a colleague... so personal was before professional...
Sherry
Legend Member
I don't know the reason why you can't be friends any more, but I think you need to walk away from the situation for a while. Obviously you're feeling hurt at the moment because as you say you've lost a close friend. Take some time out and see how you feel about things at a later date. Otherwise you run the risk of becoming resentful of her. Feeling used by someone that you were once close to is going to suck and hurt you all over again.
sunyun
Legend Member
Try putting yourself in her place, and look at the situation from her perspective. It may be that there are good reasons for her suggestion which only become obvious when looked at through someone else's eyes.
Always difficult to comment without much more of the context.
One thing to remember : Good friends are too hard to come by to squander.
Best of luck.
Always difficult to comment without much more of the context.
One thing to remember : Good friends are too hard to come by to squander.
Best of luck.
S
Sandi Lang
When feelings are involved it
s always a difficult situation . Walk away and think about it for a while . communicate your feelings to this person, you can only be honest with yourself and the other and see what happens ...
s always a difficult situation . Walk away and think about it for a while . communicate your feelings to this person, you can only be honest with yourself and the other and see what happens ...