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Rudest or funniest thing you have heard before/after sex ?

S

Storm Elite

For me the rudest by far is being asked to do it without a condom!! For one I find it hurtful as it says to me that A, you don't respect what I do for a living, B, you clearly don't care about your health or mine and C it makes me feel like you think I am some kind of cheap hooker that needs to stoop that low to make a few extra $$$$. When a client asks this , I do not enjoy my time..

Funniest thing , well now there are ALOT of funny incidents to choose from but I'd have to say the time a client asked me if he could Stick 'It' in my ear as he heard that feels really good for the woman.... (I think his friends were having a cruel joke at his inexperience lol
 
Ginger Spice

Ginger Spice

Here Comes Trouble
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Storm Elite said:
For me the rudest by far is being asked to do it without a condom!! For one I find it hurtful as it says to me that A, you don't respect what I do for a living, B, you clearly don't care about your health or mine and C it makes me feel like you think I am some kind of cheap hooker that needs to stoop that low to make a few extra $$$$. When a client asks this , I do not enjoy my time..

Funniest thing , well now there are ALOT of funny incidents to choose from but I'd have to say the time a client asked me if he could Stick 'It' in my ear as he heard that feels really good for the woman.... (I think his friends were having a cruel joke at his inexperience lol
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To be asked if they can rub IT down THERE without a condom for a few extra $$$ UH NO, NO YOU CAN NOT. Then when you say that, they tell me to TRUST them.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... I met you ten minutes ago.
 
A

Adrianna Lush

Last night....
Client: Can I look at your pussy? I'm a geologist.
Me: Sure. You looking for jewels down there?
Client: mmmMmmmm....yes a full treasure chest!
Me: Oh yeah!
Client: Yes! And my cock is the pirate.
Me: Ahoy down there. You one eyed cocked pirate! Let me pull over your patch!
Client: Oh my god! Yeeessss I see I see oh I see arrrgggghhhh golddddddd!!!!!

Ejaculation achieved.
 
HappyPirate

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
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Ahoy;- It was not me
"Blasted Pirates, there everywhere and they Arrrrr a sneeky bunch"

Adrianna Lush said:
Last night....
Client: Can I look at your pussy? I'm a geologist.
Me: Sure. You looking for jewels down there?
Client: mmmMmmmm....yes a full treasure chest!
Me: Oh yeah!
Client: Yes! And my cock is the pirate.
Me: Ahoy down there. You one eyed cocked pirate! Let me pull over your patch!
Client: Oh my god! Yeeessss I see I see oh I see arrrgggghhhh golddddddd!!!!!

Ejaculation achieved.
Click to expand...
 
Linda

Linda

The Wild Child
Legend Member
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Adrianna Lush said:
Last night....
Client: Can I look at your pussy? I'm a geologist.
Me: Sure. You looking for jewels down there?
Client: mmmMmmmm....yes a full treasure chest!
Me: Oh yeah!
Client: Yes! And my cock is the pirate.
Me: Ahoy down there. You one eyed cocked pirate! Let me pull over your patch!
Client: Oh my god! Yeeessss I see I see oh I see arrrgggghhhh golddddddd!!!!!

Ejaculation achieved.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you really enjoy the role playing
 
HappyPirate

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
2,379
Ahoy;- Yeah I know, most women find it very hard to forget me,
"I ususally get the Hint when they say something like;- Ohhhhhh You shoUld see Sharon next time you Arrrr HERE LOL"

Adrianna Lush said:
To be honest....I actually thought it might be u in the booking ahhahahah
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A

Adrianna Lush

happypirate said:
Ahoy;- Yeah I know, most women find it very hard to forget me,
"I ususally get the Hit when they say something like;- Ohhhhhh You shoUld see Sharon next time you Arrrr HERE LOL"
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Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaaa
 
homer

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
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Adrianna Lush said:
Last night....
Client: Can I look at your pussy? I'm a geologist.
Me: Sure. You looking for jewels down there?
Client: mmmMmmmm....yes a full treasure chest!
Me: Oh yeah!
Client: Yes! And my cock is the pirate.
Me: Ahoy down there. You one eyed cocked pirate! Let me pull over your patch!
Client: Oh my god! Yeeessss I see I see oh I see arrrgggghhhh golddddddd!!!!!

Ejaculation achieved.
Click to expand...

Aye, that's a treasure trove...arrr...i hope he at least gave you a pearl necklace as reward..or beads...:eek:
 
Bobofunk

Bobofunk

Gold Member
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When I was younger I lived in a share house with one of my best mates from school. In the middle of the night I could here a regular thumping of a bed hitting the wall, so I knew what was going on. All of a sudden the thumping stopped and I heard my mates voice yell out " for fuck sake! Can you move around a bit? You're making me feel like a necropheliac!" And then they both burst out laughing.
 
Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
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In the same vein Bobofunk Big brother said in Bali the walls were so thin you could hear nearly everything next door He had a young buck as a neighbour who had picked up He heard the girl say " Could you turn the light off please " to which he replied " Sorry but I like to see what I am eating"
 
A

Adrianna Lush

Client who was totally off his face: can you please stop looking at me straight in the eyes..it's freaking me out and I want to enjoy myself. Your eyes are so black you look like the devil.

Charming...note to self...clients on drugs trip out at the slightest thing.
 
bdouble77

bdouble77

Silver Member
Points
0
I used to punt before I got married. ..the funniest I came across was in a booking with kitty (about 10 yrs ago)..
Kitty " omg!! You are not sticking THAT"...(pointing at my wee fella with a prince albert...."in THERE!!!"...pointing at her honeypot. ...
 
Rochelle

Rochelle

Forum & Langtrees.com Administrator
Staff member
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Points
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Worst comment I got was ages ago from a client who -after sucking and licking my pussy for 20 minutes- told me that my pussy tastes bad and I should see a doctor to get it checked out. I couldn't believe my ears as he obviously enjoyed it. "excuse me, what did you just say?" and he just went on and on about that we are all dirty and full of diseases. After 5 mins I really had enough and declared the booking to be over as I don't have to listen to this disrespectful sh**.

The best one ever was a guy who told me after 2 hours of fun that he is thinks he is gay (still in the closet) and just needed somebody to confirm it. I didn't take it a bad way because we had a great time together and discussed this topic (him being maybe gay) in length.
 
Dahlia

Dahlia

Perth Escorts
Gold Member
Points
0
Rochelle of Langtrees said:
Worst comment I got was ages ago from a client who -after sucking and licking my pussy for 20 minutes- told me that my pussy tastes bad and I should see a doctor to get it checked out. I couldn't believe my ears as he obviously enjoyed it. "excuse me, what did you just say?" and he just went on and on about that we are all dirty and full of diseases. After 5 mins I really had enough and declared the booking to be over as I don't have to listen to this disrespectful sh**.

The best one ever was a guy who told me after 2 hours of fun that he is thinks he is gay (still in the closet) and just needed somebody to confirm it. I didn't take it a bad way because we had a great time together and discussed this topic (him being maybe gay) in length.
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how disrespectful can some ppl be. so thats why they all come and pay us working girls cuz they want a bit of our disease:hungry:
 
Dahlia

Dahlia

Perth Escorts
Gold Member
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Had a client once that sucked his own penis , came in his own mouth &spit it out.
Dont really know what to call it.Rude?Funny?Gross?Disgusting?
 
Rochelle

Rochelle

Forum & Langtrees.com Administrator
Staff member
Legend Member
Points
392
Dahlia said:
Had a client once that sucked his own penis , came in his own mouth &spit it out.
Dont really know what to call it.Rude?Funny?Gross?Disgusting?
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...........OMG..........I think I would call it just flexible.............:jawdrop:

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