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Rebound sex

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Spunkymunky

Technically i havn't just come out of a relationship, i have come out of an extreme clusterfuck of miscommunication and heartbreak. However, i am finally reaching the point where i feel able to go out and maybe meet some boys/girls and see how it goes. Last night i went out and flirted my little tushie off with some hapless males and among them is a guy i am starting to count as a good friend.

If i persisted i am sure i could talk my good friend into sexy playtime fun (he is a little shy). However i have a problem. How does rebound sex work? I have never really done it before and people keep telling me "oh go find a rebound guy spunky and fuck your brains out" but if i do that here does that mean he is just a rebound guy? And the last rebound guy i went with ended up being the clusterfuck mentioned above so i don't exactly have a good history here!

I am just wary of how all of this works........and i don't want new guy to be rebound guy. I like new guy and he likes me (shock, horror) and i want to avoid repeating previous mistakes.

Help?
 
S

sexiness

Who says there has to be a rebound guy, I think rebound is usually huried and doesn't necessarily mean you are even friends.

If you like your friend and want to get a little more out of the friendship because you like him and enjoy thinking about the sexual possibilities - then go for it.

I'd say forget the rebound theory...just enjoy the company :angel12:
 
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Spunkymunky

Thanks for the advice sexiness :) I wont see him again till he comes back to town in a week so i am thinking i may let my hair down (so to speak) this weekend and see what happens.....
 
P

Perthfun

"puts hand in the air"
You can rebound off me anytime you want spunkymunky:-X

I won't care if it's just meaningless sex as I am tough.
I won't cry if you use me then throw me away......often. :) :)

Cheers
K
 
svengali

svengali

Foundation Member
Points
3
Personally, I think rebound sex - going out and scoring some just to show the world and yourself that you have still got it is great. So long as you are honest about it there is no harm done. Rebound relationships are a bad idea.

If you want a serious relationship which will go the distance you need to know the other person really well and the best way to do that is to take it slowly and carefully ticking off the good points and the bad ones along the way. Sex should come very much later and only when you are sure everything else will be o.k. To do this you need to be standing on solid emotional ground yourself and having just got rid of a bad relationship is not the best time.

It is not a bad idea to take a look in the mirror and ask the person there what she is about. Why did you pick the previous guy? Why did it not work out? Have you developed a habit of picking Mr Wrongs? I am thinking about the mother of a schoolfriend of my daughters who lurched from one abusive booze-addled loser to another and was finally murdered by the latest model. Some women just seem to have a self-destruct mechanism which leads them straight to the wrong guys. There is also the risk that if this new guy is a "nice guy" (yep, there are a few of us left) ;D dragging him into bed too soon may frighten him away.

I guess what I am trying to say is just make sure all the baggage from previous failed relationships is securely stashed away before embarking on any new ventures.

Whatever you decide, good luck.
 
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Spunkymunky

Perthfun - you make me laugh :) but i wouldn't want to make you feel cheap and used teehee.

I think you're right about the relationship thing sven, i am going to take it nice and slow with new guy. As for the rest of it, i have a knack of picking guys who are "inappropriate" for want of a better word. Cheaters, guys who are to old, guys with stalker issues or dependence problems. Which is why i was stunned that new guy is interested - he is so normal. And he knows all about my somewhat turbulent past and still thinks i'm lovely.
 
Mrs Langtrees

Mrs Langtrees

Owner & Creator
Foundation Member
Points
959
Svengli words of wisdom do it for me.
Firstly you have to remeber your age, you are still a young lady with lots of experiences to go through and even at 50 I still feel I am just starting out.
Why I specialise in sex education is because I have learnt that very few men and woman can comminicate honestly because we are preconditioned as children not to. For the younger generation it is not as bad as my generation but we still have a long way to go.When a girl falls in lust its the emotions she first treasures, so it makes it difficult as it developes to direct her partner on how she achieves pleasure.
I suggest get Sex for One by Betty Dodson from the internet bookshops about $20 delivered. Understand how your own mind and body works before you blame the bloke.
One thing the industry taught me is that 90% of men want to pleasure woman, don't know how to because we haven't learnt how to teach them and approach recieving pleasure as being selfish.
Another fact I learnt along the way is that 41% of woman "Cheat" (I prefer wander) in a relationship and only 33% of men wander.
We are first and foremost animals and mammals, it is not natural for mammals to be monogamous, it is something we created to live in harminous communities, plus it helped churches and governments 1000 to 2000 years ago to control the population as they had a need to breed children for their war machines.
 
Mrs Langtrees

Mrs Langtrees

Owner & Creator
Foundation Member
Points
959
I forgot enjoy the occasionally fling, or one night stand. I had one the other evening as was rather delicious.
 
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Spunkymunky

I have been told all that stuff before about monogamous relationships being unnatural etc but i can't cope with it. If my partner wants to swing or experiment then i am up for that (or discussion on that) but it doesn't matter how man sensible points you make Maryanne, i'm still anti-wandering! I have my plans in place for a stupendous fling this weekend hehe....
 
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Perthfun

Spunkymunky said:
I have been told all that stuff before about monogamous relationships being unnatural etc but i can't cope with it. If my partner wants to swing or experiment then i am up for that (or discussion on that) but it doesn't matter how man sensible points you make Maryanne, i'm still anti-wandering! I have my plans in place for a stupendous fling this weekend hehe....
Click to expand...

Spunky,one of the very reasons my marriage broke down was the wife didn't want a bar ( so to speak, hehe) of the swinging scene. I explained it wasn't about true love, just adults enjoying what adults do :)
Needless to say I have a ..err... fuckbuddy who on the very odd occasion I can escape we frequent each others company and the LP's scene.
God I love it...

I discussed this with my...err...fuckbuddy and her view is that if we were BF/GF she would be happy ONLY as long as she could be there or participate. She didn't like the idea of me playing up alone. But as she is just a..err.. fuckbuddy then it is all irrelevant. :)

Cheers
K
 
S

Spunkymunky

Awww you guys are so nice :) i enjoy the swinging scene but i would do it only as a couple.....not going off away from my partner or with my partner going off on their own with someone.
 
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Spunkymunky

I just reread that post - it made limited sense! I only had three hours sleep last night cos i flew home at 5am this morning and then went to work all day.....i think i might go rest my weary head before more nonsensicle-ness occurs.
 
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