• Lots of naked NEW Members on the forum plz add an AVATAR we are adding them if you don't if you don't like change them.

Puns for people with higher IQ ... go on add some more ... you like them really!

S

Steve Bond

:notworthy
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - The same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - Always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion .

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. :eek:ccasion14

________________________________
 

billybones

Thrillseeker
Legend Member
Points
32
You will always find things in the last place you looked because if you didn`t you would keep looking.
 

ecchimiki

Gold Member
Points
0
I read that as "Punts for people with higher IQ..." and here I thought it was all about geek sex. :)
 

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
22
Not sure if I posted this before If so apologies in advance

Mahatma Ghandi as you know walked barefoot all the time
Which caused a impressive set of calluses on his feet
He also ate very little, which made him frail
And he also had a odd diet due to prison and a life on the road
So suffered bad breath Which all made him a....

A Super Callussed Fragile Mystic
Plagued by halitosis

(To be sung to the tune from Mary Poppins)
 
N

Naughty Thoughts

...I thought it was all about geek sex.

Geek sex: awkwardly glancing at each other across the room whilst steadfastly refusing to go near the other.
 
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