Partner thinks about other Women when we have sex

[Alekay]

I am hoping this is the right place to post this

We have been together about 18mths or so. He is 39 and I am 30. Anyway for awhile now I have known he fantasizes about other women when we have sex. I think its the majority of the times we have sex he does this.

I know I feel awful about this and then have trouble even wanting sex as I know this is what will happen. He said it shouldn't make any difference cause he is after all actually having sex with me. Also he states that it is not like he is thinking about women he knows so I should not be worried about it.

I am just not sure how I should feel about this and whether it is normal or not?

And also whats the difference between actually having sex while fantasizing nad masturbating?

Thank you so much for reading :angel1:

 

[Bluegrass9]

Interesting thread Alekay.
I have used porn to get me in the mood and even after seeing a sexy lady when shopping I may when arriving home rush my wife for some afternoon delight.

But to actually inform you he thinks of others when having sex a little strange.

I am not saying I have never had a stray thought of another lady when having sex but mostly I am focussed on the one I am with and giving her the attention to bring her the pleasure she is seeking.

Do you dress up in something sexy for your man? or wear a dress that has buttons or a zip almost impossible to take off. You could even sew the top four buttons to see if he will tear or bite them off to remove the dress.
:walk:

 

[Robozou]

Their are two instances were this could be a problem:

1) He is actually using you as a more realistic and life like rubber doll

2) And/or He is thinking of your mom/sis/dau's

 

[Reggie]

Next time you have sex call out someone elses name, whats good for the goose (make it one of his mates names but deny any connection).

 

[CathyDomme]

I am just not sure how I should feel about this and whether it is normal or not?

Most guys at some stage will fantasize about another woman... that is perfectly normal... Most aren't as insensitive as to tell their partner that is what they are doing....

At best he is an insensitive fool, but he is more likely to be a total prick... confront him, tell him how you feel about, tell him to go do the dishes and fantasize all he wants while he is doing them.

 

[Sir Stefan]

Alekay I don't think he is unique in that respect.... a lot of Guys and Girls fantasise about fucking someone else when they are bonking....Actually I think it is more healthy to stay at home and do it in ones mind...than to sneek out at night to try to do it live.

I have been in relationships with girls who have asked me who I would like to fuk tonight if I had unrestricted access.... then they ask me to tell them exactly what I would do...with that girl... if I was with her now... they would then visualise..in their mind... the scene I was describing.....Somehow it helped them to have a much more intensive orgasm.

In fact it can work both ways...with the girl telling her Guy... just DON't make your fantasy lover someone who he/she knows personally.

For anyone who hasn't tried this yet...then I suggest you do... you could be amazed how it can heighten your own lovemaking.

 

[Alekay]

Thank you for your replies!

He would say he only told me as I asked him whether he thinks about me during sex. Though the way I do know is he "tunes" out so to speak. Feels as though I am not even there for him during these times. Then he ends up getting carried away and like last time chomping on my lip which killed. Its not like I mind sex being rough as I don't at all, but not like that.