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Naughty Adult Christmas Memes, Christmas Jokes etc
- Thread starter Tania Admin
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- christmas jokes jokes
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Tania Admin
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Tania Admin
Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable.
“Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?”
Santa says, “Ho, ho ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”
She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?”
Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”
The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?”
Santa says, “Hey hey hey, might as well stay. I can’t get up the chimney this way!”
“Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?”
Santa says, “Ho, ho ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”
She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?”
Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”
The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?”
Santa says, “Hey hey hey, might as well stay. I can’t get up the chimney this way!”
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Tania Admin
- Points
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Wow what a big cock!!!
- Points
- 2,332
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Tania Admin
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said.
“Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”
Saint Peter said, “You may also pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”
“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said.
“Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”
Saint Peter said, “You may also pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”
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Tania Admin
An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney and says, "I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Brisbane and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man h! angs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"they're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Brisbane and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man h! angs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"they're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
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Tania Admin
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Tania Admin
LucyLove
Silver Member
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That took me a ridiculously long time to catch on.haha
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Tania Admin
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Tania Admin
How does Santa stay STD free?
He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.
He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.
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Tania Admin
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Tania Admin
So my girlfriend wanted a white Christmas…
But when I came on her face that morning, she didn’t even thank me.
But when I came on her face that morning, she didn’t even thank me.
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