My best joke.
- Thread starter Winter W.
- Start date
Cayla Cream
Legend Member
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- 58
HOW DO YOU MAKE A HANKY DANCE ?????
Cayla Cream
Legend Member
- Points
- 58
PUT A LIL BOOGIE IN IT !!!!!!! 
Nomansland
Gold Member
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- 0
Groan
Sunday Times joke page stuff
Sunday Times joke page stuff
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Then come up with better
Nomansland
Gold Member
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Whats the difference between an onion and bagpipes?
No one cries when you cut up bagpipe.
BTW i love the bagpipes
No one cries when you cut up bagpipe.
BTW i love the bagpipes
Amanda Secrets
Diamond Member
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- 0
Why wasn't jesus born in Ireland?
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Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin
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Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin
figjam
Gold Member
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- 0
VOODOO PENIS
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip,
so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He
went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, 'Well, I
don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many
weeks, except...the Voodoo Penis!'
The husband said 'The what'?
The man repeated 'The Voodoo Penis' and pulled out what seemed to be an
ordinary dildo.
The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'
The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Voodoo Penis, door!'
The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started
pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so
much that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said
'Voodoo Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to
the box.
The husband bought it. He took it home to his wife, And after the
husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Voodoo Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said 'Voodoo Penis, my crotch.' The
penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering
orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull
it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off.
So she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the hospital.
On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over
the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over.
He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, the woman said 'I haven't had anything to drink
officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch
and it won't stop screwing me...'
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied,
'Yeah right...Voodoo Penis, my ass...!'
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip,
so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He
went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, 'Well, I
don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many
weeks, except...the Voodoo Penis!'
The husband said 'The what'?
The man repeated 'The Voodoo Penis' and pulled out what seemed to be an
ordinary dildo.
The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'
The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Voodoo Penis, door!'
The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started
pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so
much that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said
'Voodoo Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to
the box.
The husband bought it. He took it home to his wife, And after the
husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Voodoo Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said 'Voodoo Penis, my crotch.' The
penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering
orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull
it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off.
So she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the hospital.
On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over
the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over.
He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, the woman said 'I haven't had anything to drink
officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch
and it won't stop screwing me...'
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied,
'Yeah right...Voodoo Penis, my ass...!'
figjam
Gold Member
- Points
- 0
Hotel Brochure
A visitor to Taiwan was given this brochure by the hotel. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Your Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."
A visitor to Taiwan was given this brochure by the hotel. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Your Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."