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Messed Up

A

Al Swearengen

I've dated some messed up chicks in my time. Theres the afore mentioned girl that had me guzzling pineapple juice before head. The fact that she was 20 & had so much experience with blowjobs that she knew pineapple juice worked should have been a clue as to how messed up she was.
Then there was the kinky chick that called me Daddy at the height of sex. Weird.

What are the messed up women (and men) that you've dated? What are soem of the highlights? Or lowlights??

Al
 
C

colzilla

Well Al. I don't think I have ever been with a woman who wasn't a bit f#@ked up... Can I mention the sane ones instead.
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
I like a bit crazy, its the guy equivalent to a girl liking a bad boy I guess. Craziest one I ever had was a girl I met from the UK that wanted to have sex on every Australian landmark or tourist attraction, I drove her around for about six weeks trying to help her out, it started off ok, and sneaking up Uluru out of hours was one thing but I drew a line at the Phillip Island Penguin Parade when the Penguins were everywhere
 
A

Al Swearengen

I like a bit crazy, its the guy equivalent to a girl liking a bad boy I guess. Craziest one I ever had was a girl I met from the UK that wanted to have sex on every Australian landmark or tourist attraction, I drove her around for about six weeks trying to help her out, it started off ok, and sneaking up Uluru out of hours was one thing but I drew a line at the Phillip Island Penguin Parade when the Penguins were everywhere

I like that dedication: Sex on every Australian landmark! Gotta admire that!

You might be on to something there, Dallas. A little crazy is a good thing in a woman. A lot crazy perhaps not.

What other crazy, demented boyfriend/girlfriend stories are out there?? Keep em coming!

Al
 
C

Contrarian

How on earth did you bonk on the Sydney Harbour Bridge or Opera House - the security is so tight. I've tried!
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
I was gonna mention those - no, tried but as you said security made it impossible
 
T

Tania Admin

Unfortunately I dated quite a few messed up people before I met my awesome husband.
One guy a couple of years ago reminded me of Terrence and Phill from South Park (looks and mouth wise), very much a control freak, overly jealous (to the point at the end I was told to wear jeans and a t-shirt when we went out and was not allowed anywhere near a dance floor in case someone looked at me) and became violent and knocked me out one night (End of relationship). He didn't like any of my friends and he was only nice when I was feeling down, but if I was happy the insults would fly. And he was always on about conspiracy theories, about anything. Definitely a looper.

And then there were a couple of guys who wanted to move in with me after only a couple of dates. One guy found out the town I lived in and google earthed my house (I never let anyone know where I lived until I had know them a while) and found my house due to a specific type gazebo that I had in the back ground of a photo. My house being the only one in town with that type of gazebo. We went on one date and all he did was talk about his ex wife, then couldn't understand why I wasn't interested. A couple of days later I was out with a friend and I started getting messages saying, why are you out? and named the place where I was. Then I got message after message, literally about 60 messages in the space of 2 hours, starting from 5am, telling me I had to give him another chance. This is when he disclosed knowing where my house was and how he had found it. It was really creepy. The messages kept coming for days and then he went on about being all depressed and I got calls from his friends saying he had not shown up at work and had left his phones, they were sure he was with me. I have no doubt he was watching me with some of the messages I received. I spoke to a couple of friends in the police force and the harassment stopped. Needless to say I was freaked out.

There were a few more oddballs, but they were harmless and didn't scare me.
 

Rochelle

Forum & Langtrees.com Administrator
Staff member
Legend Member
Points
390
LOL I don't even want to go there when it comes to weird/messed up dates I had over time (yes, I do acknowledge privacy) but all I can say it has been fun (never life threatening etc)
I think it is an other step in widening your horizon........thanks for the experience but thanks no, no need to take it further ;)

R.xxxxxxx
 

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
2,344
Ahoy, the only thing I attract is Crazy Women, Hmmmmm I wonder Why????????
There has been, no sorry, all of them have been, just Crazzy and if you wish to find one, try on-line dating.
 

Rochelle

Forum & Langtrees.com Administrator
Staff member
Legend Member
Points
390
Ahoy, the only thing I attract is Crazy Women, Hmmmmm I wonder Why????????
There has been, no sorry, all of them have been, just Crazzy and if you wish to find one, try on-line dating.
LOL.......takes one to know one :)
..........but don't give up........there will be a light at the end of the tunnel........;)
 

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
2,344
Ahoy;- Thx Rochelle, but, I gave up a long time ago, the world is full of Crazzy Women and Men, I rather keep my head down and live as a Pirate, I am sure no one will notice me amougest the crowd

LOL.......takes one to know one :)
..........but don't give up........there will be a light at the end of the tunnel........;)
 
C

colzilla

The fact you think you are a pirate could be telling us something. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Jim lad.
 

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
2,344
Eyeeeeeeee Col my Bro, I agree with Yeeeeeee, but, they will never notice me in a crowd. Have a good day, I need to run, there things that need to be done and treasure we seek, for the more treasure we find the more we can spend on Rum and Wenches.

The fact you think you are a pirate could be telling us something. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Jim lad.
 

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
Unfortunately I dated quite a few messed up people before I met my awesome husband.
One guy a couple of years ago reminded me of Terrence and Phill from South Park (looks and mouth wise), very much a control freak, overly jealous (to the point at the end I was told to wear jeans and a t-shirt when we went out and was not allowed anywhere near a dance floor in case someone looked at me) and became violent and knocked me out one night (End of relationship). He didn't like any of my friends and he was only nice when I was feeling down, but if I was happy the insults would fly. And he was always on about conspiracy theories, about anything. Definitely a looper.

And then there were a couple of guys who wanted to move in with me after only a couple of dates. One guy found out the town I lived in and google earthed my house (I never let anyone know where I lived until I had know them a while) and found my house due to a specific type gazebo that I had in the back ground of a photo. My house being the only one in town with that type of gazebo. We went on one date and all he did was talk about his ex wife, then couldn't understand why I wasn't interested. A couple of days later I was out with a friend and I started getting messages saying, why are you out? and named the place where I was. Then I got message after message, literally about 60 messages in the space of 2 hours, starting from 5am, telling me I had to give him another chance. This is when he disclosed knowing where my house was and how he had found it. It was really creepy. The messages kept coming for days and then he went on about being all depressed and I got calls from his friends saying he had not shown up at work and had left his phones, they were sure he was with me. I have no doubt he was watching me with some of the messages I received. I spoke to a couple of friends in the police force and the harassment stopped. Needless to say I was freaked out.

There were a few more oddballs, but they were harmless and didn't scare me.

Wow, I'd shmack the bejesus outta these guys. Loonies indeed. Can't say I have dated kwazy chicks before. Maybe I am too normal, ok I need a life...LOL...

But i've seen female friends having losers of a BF, abusing and hitting them.
 

Tony S

Bronze Member
Points
0
Had a really dangerous one, the faster you drove the hornier she got, really took me to my limit before sensed up, the sex was always great though especially right after the drive.

Finally got it sorted, made it kinkier for her by getting a blindfold, then just got a set or really noisy tires and the sound the skids made, made up for the speed.
 

Master Yoda

“Your path you must decide.”
Legend Member
Points
56
Well....... not so long ago I had a young uni student FWB who is not of the industry. There are many things to tell with her. But one occasion in particular comes to mind.

While I stayed at her place one time she decided to challenge me on filling up a wine glass with Jedi Juice. And promised that if I can fill it to the rim it goes down the hatch (hers).

It started off as a really awesome time. Blow job after Blowjob until I was spent. By the end of the night there was not even half a glass. I lost. I quickly went to sleep and forgotten about it.

Next day I went over there again and opened the fridge for a beer. My heart twisted as my jaw dropped when I saw a day old half glass of Jedi Jizz complete with the stench next to the beer with cling wrap on it. I said something and that only triggered her to carry on with the mission.

Not much was achieved was fun from where I layed. Again.......sleep........work........and guess what?!

OMFG!!!!!!!!! There it was again!!!!!!!! Ewwwwww

I asked her to throw it out as it har started to separate out like cream of chicken soup with a skin on top.

Sometimes I wonder. If it had taken weeks of effort and I had the Midochlorian to fill that flute to the rim.....would she still drink it?


Blahhhhhh I'm making myself nauseous lol
 

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
She must wear that Jedi glow. The jedi force is strong down her throat. Nauseating indeed thinking about it...lol
 
A

Al Swearengen

Damn Yoda. Thats, um, disgusting! Makes me want to retch just reading that let alone seeing something like that in my fridge.

Al
 
P

Perth boy

My wife is messed up when she drinks to much but I still love her.
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
Actually I think I'm more messed up than any women I know, I regularly fly 7000km's to Perth and back for a weekend just to pay for a few quality hours with a nice w/l. I Don't know any women that would do that for a guy. Thankfully I like surfing :) Forecast 31c on Sunday that should nice surf-1.gif
 

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
Actually I think I'm more messed up than any women I know, I regularly fly 7000km's to Perth and back for a weekend just to pay for a few quality hours with a nice w/l. I Don't know any women that would do that for a guy. Thankfully I like surfing :) Forecast 31c on Sunday that should nice View attachment 12622

That goes to show your one dedicated punter to that nice w/l. Lucky she is.
 
C

colzilla

Actually I think I'm more messed up than any women I know, I regularly fly 7000km's to Perth and back for a weekend just to pay for a few quality hours with a nice w/l. I Don't know any women that would do that for a guy. Thankfully I like surfing :) Forecast 31c on Sunday that should nice View attachment 12622

I'd move interstate for the working girl of my dreams... TWGOMD
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
Thanks homer! I might go broke doing that mr col, I would be visiting on my lunch breaks and every other spare minute :)
 
C

colzilla

Don't know about that. Seems cheaper than what you are doing... Just think how much the divorce cost you and w/l look prettier by the second.
 
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