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Marriage

S

Shannon

Does anyone out there anymore believe in the sanction of Marriage?
For those that have never been married is the thought in your mind that "yes maybe one day?"
What about those that have been married and now divorced "would you go down that road again?"
For myself having been married and divorced i dont think i would go down that road again as i believe that you do not need to have marriage to show you are committed to someone that you love.
The committment comes from each other and not a signed piece of paper or paying hundreds and in some cases thousands for everyone else to have a good time on your so called special day... the marriage fails and you are left still paying the debt from it all.

I wonder if that in another 20 years time, that this sanction will once again become popular by doing its rotational circle as does fashion.
I have seen over the years many marriages fail and i have also seen many couples that have never taken that step although been together many years, still have what they had when they first met....Does the word "Marriage" make us become complacent in our attitude toward our partner?...ie: I have you now you are committed to me so i dont have to try anymore. Do partners who just get on with their lives together without the "committment" of marriage have a better chance at survival of their relationship?
 
O

Oscar

Used to! Not any more, once bitten twice shy!!After all, it's really just a bit of paper,(sometimes expensive!) who needs it? :angel12:
 
L

lickedysplit

well maybe we should value that expensive bit of paper again the way we used too. And sometimes there is no expense spared for the fairytale, the girls dream, the tradition................
May the heavens above bring my daughter and my daughters daughter, that piece of paper, surrounded by her friends and family and most of all a man tha truely loves her enough to spare the expense..........

life does come in waves, it seems that way, it will be cool again to have loyalty, manogamy and all that moralistic stuff but i think at the moment the millenium introduction is bringing all kinds of wonderful exciting things for all of us petals to experiment with so the 'norm' isn't as appealing as it used to be...
 
H

hilly

Well im with you on one this lickedy.
Marriage was more than than a piece of paper to us
we were like two pea"s in a pod so close but still had space
we have seen lots of our friends fall by the way side
they stopped talking to each other and the rot set in
when they did start talking it was only to fight
my better haft once sat me down to talk
and she asked gordie how come we dont fight?
---we just brust out laughing-- we never needed to---
we were to busy having fun
were we the norm you be the judge ?
as for owning someone-never try -for you
will end up with no one .
if just a little bit of what we had
rubs off on our 4 kids il be happy
---hilly----
 
H

hilly

sure have lickedy--2-girls 2-boys.
and 7 grandkids so far,
5 boys-&-2 girls.
--hilly--
 
C

cli-max

Partners For Life

I have been married twice, and both times it ended in divorce. I'm left with regrets, but not bitterness. My biggest regret is that children were caused a lot of pain because of it, and it will have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. Ideally, children grow up in a happy secure enviorment in a family full of love and memories of a happy childhood - in preparation for their own. To me, the commitment of marriage includes the largest commitment we will ever make - not to a piece of paper, but to the children we created - above all!

For the last 16 years, and at the present time, marriage is the furtherest thing from my mind, but i still never say NEVER again. If it's fate that i should meet that one special person that i want to spend the rest of my life with, i'll follow my heart, not let the past experiences scare me into feeling 'safer' alone. The 'commitment of marriage' didn't kill the passion between my partners and i, they were just the wrong ones, simple as that!

If it were even possible, let alone desirable for me to have more children, i can't honestly say that i would 'risk' such a commitment again. As it is now, the only responsibility i have - is to myself and my own happiness.
 
J

jennifer

I would love to marry again and take care of my man. It is only bitterness from previous relationships that stops me from doing so. When I married, all I married for was the dream and the party. I was too young to understand what marriage really was about. I now know what marriage requires to make it work and if you find the right person it really isnt that hard afterall.

I have about 5 boyfriends that I keep at bay and not one of them would I marry. Im way too sceptical now, a man would have to be a blend of all 5 and thats just too high of an expectation to have towards anyone, I feel sorry for any man that goes out with me !!!!!!!!!
hehehehehehe

But one day, I shall find my prince, and he doesnt have to have all the looks and the riches in the world, he just has to love me for me and I will love him back 10 fold simply for loving me and treating me like a princess. hehehehe

Hey, its still nice to dream..........................................................
 
H

huma

Yeap I would but if it happens or not don’t really care I’m happy just being alone being married for 9 years and going out of a shit divorce I still would the good thing about was the experience and it’s made me very picky
 
princesssuzie

princesssuzie

Foundation Member
Points
0
What's the world coming to?

I've been married for 22 years and although we've had our ups and downs, we still truly love each other. I believe there's no such thing as the perfect marriage, but yes I do still believe in the piece of paper called a marriage certificate.

I also hope to see my daughter walk down the aisle one day, however as a teenager marriage is the furtherest thing from her mind. I can remember her saying to me many years ago "Mum, do we know anyone that is still together anymore?". As we seem to be one of the few people in this world that has stayed together and the majority of our friends have split up, she has grown up thinking that it was normal.

Her best friend at school comes from divorced parents and sometimes she ponders what would it be like as she sees her friend being spoilt by both parents competing for their childs attention. When filling out forms these days, there is a section for single parents like it's become the norm.

I can understand when people really can't get on, but I still feel it's a sad way for our children to grow up. What's the world coming to???

SGS
 
M

melly bear

Have also been married and divorced but would certainly go there again......if it's the right person, why risk losing the possibility of a wonderful life together just because of a bad experience in a past life? Besides, with modern laws wrt de-facto relationships, it makes no difference if you've got a piece of paper or not, if it all goes pear shaped it's gonna cost you!!
 
S

Simone

That 'piece of paper" is giving me grief at the moment LOL trying to get my passport organised!!!

What an interesting topic Shannon my hat goes off to u hun ;D

I have been married for 10 years and yes it is a bit of paper but I was proud to take my husbands name, and still proud today.

My first marriage (all of 19 and a 110 guests later) lasted a whole 16months. My second marriage (nearly 10 years later was a backyard job with 2 witnesses and still going strong.

I think what a lot of people are missing is the fact that a relationship of a "big committment" is the fact that we fight for it every day. It's not something that we should get complacement about. Its not just one person we have to think about but it turns into 2, then 3 and maybe more.

The whole "this is my husband" has now turned into "this is my partner" regardless of paper or not. It is the way society has now turned and my husband is now called my partner LOL.

So I suppose what I am trying to say is hey its upto the individuals what they want not what society wants.

All the best and lots of loving


Simone xxx
 
F

Floyd

Interesting thread.

I'm betwixt and between on this one.

I don't think I believe in the "fairy tale". It's an expectation and a goal that we are brought up to believe in and society conditions us to strive for. I think it's this expectation that leads so many people to marry the wrong person. I know far more "too young" stories than I do "happily ever afters".

Having said that I wouldn't begrudge anyone their own fairytale and I'd never rain on anyone else's parade. I'd love it to come true for my kids. I do believe in "family" although I believe that they can come in all shapes, sizes and structures. That's a more important thing to me.
 
A

astrid

Happily ever after !

After been married twice( 10 years each) I will not go there anymore...dont get me wrong,I dont have regrets,but when you are young and dont have a clue about whats life about and dont want to lose respect from your parents,like in my case,I'm from a different generation and coming from a Catholic backround,it was unthinkable to live together with someone without getting married!..Then...WHY ...a second time...I was still believing in the "fairy tale" thing....it took me another 10 years to get to know myself and to find out what I really want in life...and to do the things...I want to do ! So whats happening as soon as you get that "piece of paper".....you put a label on eachother....with...your mine...you belong to me.......but LOVING someone doesn't mean that you own eachother or try to mould a person in someone there not..if everyone should respect and except eachother for what they are...people could live "happily ever after !"
 
C

cli-max

Good Points

There have been some good points made on the subject. We can't turn back time, but hopefully our children will get to know their partner better, and be financially prepared, before commiting to a more serious relationship. The seriousness of creating children is the biggest commitment we will ever make - married or not. We owe it to ourselves to take responsibility - for ourselves. If we make a botch of it - that's the way the cookie crumbles. It's a whole different story when kids are involved and their wellbeing is in our hands.

As Melly bear says: "The modern laws wrt de-facto relationships, it makes no difference if you've got a piece of paper or not, if it goes pear shaped it's gonna cost you"
The 'cost to children' is their wellbeing. For a start, there are family on both sides - who grieve when things go pear shaped.

As Floyd says "it's an expectation and a goal that we are brought up to believe in, and society condidtions us to strive for" (that leads so many people to marry the wrong person)

Like Astrid, i'm from a different generation (to this) It was unthinkable to live together unmarried - no matter what 'religion' our parents were.

I married ( shotgun wedding ) way too young - 16 - let alone to be a Mother.
Even if it hadn't brought shame on my family by not walking down the aisle ( or - walk the 'plank' ) and even though my partner was violent to the extreme, i still thought i was in love and wanted to be with him always. My family was disfunctional and so, i had made my bed and i lay in it, like my parents had.
The thing is, that if i had good example to follow, and had responsible, loving guidence from my family, odds are that my 'husband' wouldn't have had the chance to beat up my already low self esteem, kids wouldn't have been torn in two by two irrisponsible children, and i wouldn't have married again - to a father figure, which went pear shaped.

I don't put the blame on my parents, because i have repeated the same irrisponsibility. And now my kids have kids, and ......................


The 'piece of paper' or what you are 'labelled' ie wife or partner, makes Jack .... of difference. The love and commitment is either there, or it's not.

Hilly had it right: He and his Jenny Ren were like two peas in a pod, yet still plenty of room to move. ( and they had that piece of paper ) :headbang:
( see poetry corner ) Hilly and Jen's four children have followed the great example, and then their children ...............

xx Maybe in the next life, i'll get it right. :hello:
 
C

cli-max

Oops!

Oh, i forgot to mention:

When i re-married, my Son and Daughter were by my side.
My Daughter was then 10 years old.
She looked at me in awe and said "oh Mum, you look so beautiful, like a REAL bride. I want to wear that dress for MY second wedding" :angel1:

Outa the mouth of babes :headbang:
 
H

hilly

maybe

:hello:

Well I May be luckly- just one more time I dont know.
to find someone to hold hands with and grow old together
the trick is to fall for just the right one --or trip over them
and land face up smile-ing.-lol :icon_boun
we all need to slow down at times to smell the sweet smell of rose,s
but hey who am I to talk-for with my head down and butt up
never standing in the same spot long to let the grass grow around my feet
-----hilly----
 
C

cli-max

Ha ha Hilly, you hit the nail on the head babe! We would have to dig you outa ya humpy first, then hide all ya tools!

I reckon it could happen.
Don't ever forget your own phrase:

NEVER SAY IT CAN'T BE DONE! :icon_boun

XX
 
S

summer

summer

Hi Shannon,
I would like to think of marrying the man that I am with now,as he is my best friend as well as my ultimate lover!
but then I also have fear of making that commitment,because you here of people being friend's and lover's for so many year's and then as soon as they tie the knot it's all down hill.At the moment it is not going to happen,and we are both happy togeather without going down that road.but I would like onething to happen and that is for him to get a seperation from his wife!I realise they have no more feeling's towards each other but it would give me peace of mind!
Summer.
 
Candice Cruz

Candice Cruz

Diamond Member
Points
0
Jimmy long said:
Yep, a mate had some poor experiences and said that from now on he was just going to find a nice woman and give a house and half his money, it will save him a lot of heartache
Click to expand...

It is a creepy idea to begin with,
the notion of “now let’s get the government involved” .... because divorce usually ends up costing more than the marriage itself (court fees, etc etc) ... custody battles if kids are involved ... dividing money, assets, etc etc etc

***i only know-of ‘marriage,’ through mates who are lawyers/accountants




All smiles ☀​
Candice Cameron
WL @ Langtrees VIP Canberra | 0431 923 756
Twitter | Instagram​
 
Vineta Sexting

Vineta Sexting

Sexting Princess
Legend Member
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1,892
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