Marriage

[Zeus]

For thousands of years, marriage has been considered the union or legal contract between husband and wife.

More recently same sex marriage has become legal in many jurisdictions.

So, should other forms of marriage now also be considered legal - specifically Polygamy ???

 

[scarlett lee]

 

[Dallas]

Well there is good and bad to everything including marriage variations, but as long as it's equal and consensual then it's fine as far as I'm concerned. When I was 25 I found myself in a polyamorous relationship and the unusual arrangement worked really well. It definitely wasn't the type that people imagine with the two straight girls competing for the one guy.. that just horrifies me to the core.

It was with two girls who were already in a relationship with each other. One had been raped and had believed she could never be around a guy again in an intimate way so initially my relationship was with the other girl who I was closer to. Yes it was complicated and required a level of tact and patience and trust that's difficult to describe but over time the trust developed and all three of us shared an equally loving relationship with each other. It was really beautiful and supportive for all, people used to ask, who got to sleep in the middle, and that was Carolyn, the girl who'd been raped. It was like a security feeling for her, with a partner each side, her nightmares stopped with us both there.

 

[Madam Jacqui]

​

 

[Dallas]

I like that Jacqui, I wish my ex thought the same way too

 

[Dallas]

FYI:

Polyamory is usually not related to a religion and is unrelated to marriage, although some polyamorous people are married or have participated in commitment ceremonies with their partners. Polyamory means having multiple loving relationships, usually, but not always sexual. People in polyamorous relationships stress the importance of open communication and equal relationships between partners whether male or female.

Polygamy in the United States and Western cultures is often associated with patriarchal religions.

Polyamory is often associated with counter-culture and feminists

 

[sunyun]

If people want to marry parrots, then let them, I say !

What's that ? Polygamy not connected to parrots ! Pirate will be disappointed.




In some ways, Islam has it right, you are allowed to have up to four wives as long as you can prove that you can support them all (and any offspring) financially.

We Christians go on about monogamy, but then have affairs, visit WLs, have multiple wrecked marriages, etc.

At the end of the day, most laws about single or multiple partner marriages have more to do with population control than with the core business of religion - godliness.

In the desert (Arab lands) they were afraid that people would literally die out - so polygamy was encouraged, to produce more offspring.

In Christian Europe where the people were in danger of overpopulating the land (in times of poor agricultural practices, many acres of farm land were needed to feed each person, unlike today), rulers embraced monogamy as a way of limiting the population - but most rulers, including Popes- had multiple concubines in their palaces ! To reduce the population, they also sent them off on overseas adventures called Crusades !

Today we have largely lost the understanding of why past church (all religions), and kings made rules about how many partners anyone could have - as we have about many customs we still have - do you wear a tie ? Why ?

Personally, I reckon if you can afford it, and all parties consent, and you are one hellava juggler, then you should all be allowed to have as many partners as you all can support and all accept into the relationships.

Cheers.

 

[Gina Ling]

 

[Belle]

 

[Dez]

This is so very true! Love it! Thanks for sharing

Why not allow Polygamy....and Polyamory to be legal unions. Just because they are different doesn't mean they can't be healthy, loving and worthy of the same legal rights at a "traditional" marriage. As long as all persons are happy and fairdinkum about their situation.

Many of my friends are in Polyamorous relationships... I have one couple friend that is even in a poly-triad relationship... Far as I can see "traditional" is more uncommon these days.... Or maybe thats just because I choose to have a diverse set of evolving friends.... Me and my Hubby haven't evolved yet.... not all the way... We have a platonic 3rd.... but don't consider our envolvement needing a label.

People often want to have legalalities in place for reasons beyond the "love" of getting married... I think that should be open to people. Lets stop letting our governments babysit us....shall we?

 

[Kitty]

Tania nailed it, what happens within someone's relationship (mono or poly, irrelevant of gender) doesn't really have anything to do with the government, or anyone else for that matter. I suppose that is why I don't value marriage as a means of devoting your life to someone. X

 

[honestman]

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

— Briffault's Law


/

Marriage; even though I have woken myself to never live up to - is something I'd still give my respect if others are aware of its own failures. Ie respect my belief & way of life and vice versa. I am my own version of MGTOW.

Love is blind. Sex is real, tangible and factual. Unfortunately there's always going to be someone who frowns at a more egalitarian belief....And I sincerely hope nobody would be as confused as this lady below.

For those who aren't aware Alexandra made the video as a response to the famous Sexodus (part1&2) article, generating lot of buzz among social media circles.

 

[Dez]

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

— Briffault's Law


/

Marriage; even though I have woken myself to never live up to - is something I'd still give my respect if others are aware of its own failures. Ie respect my belief & way of life and vice versa. I am my own version of MGTOW.

Love is blind. Sex is real, tangible and factual. Unfortunately there's always going to be someone who frowns at a more egalitarian belief....And I sincerely hope nobody would be as confused as this lady below.

For those who aren't aware Alexandra made the video as a response to the famous Sexodus (part1&2) article, generating lot of buzz among social media circles.

I like most feminist articles and blogs but for some reason this women just irked me. My own recent interest in feminism in probably been the result of having a daughter- has caused much introspection on my own non egalitarian relationship.

I think she irked me when she tried to say men should spend a day as a women- as if being a woman is soooo challenging that it's beyond the comprehension of the male mind- but what she forgets is that as a woman- she has no fraking clue what it's like to be a man- why don't women spend one day as a man- men have just as many complexities and emotions and societal pressures- so I don't find her views genuinely feminist- here she isn't talking about equal rights, she's talking about dumbing down the male gender and speaking to men as if they are pigs.

I don't know much about this pick up culture YouTube video phenomenon, but I have heard of it. My only point on this is being able to facilitate less encouragement and reaction on this.

Grouping men, and defining all of them as if they all do this is horrifically degrading- TO MEN!

/rant

 

[Dez]

Sorry not finished/

Most of the relationships I've seen end- have ended because the women were so caught up in wanting their male partners to be in awe of them, that they were not in awe of their man. So busy worry about 'he forgets my birthday/anniversary/Valentine's Day" 'he's always working/never spends time with me' 'he doesn't help around the house'

Gah! Most men do their fair share and most women are too caught up trying to be queen b to appreciate any of it. At the end of the day if you cant be in awe of your partner then why should they be in awe of you..,

K- I think I'm done ...

 

[Sir Cruiser]

Sorry not finished/

Most of the relationships I've seen end- have ended because the women were so caught up in wanting their male partners to be in awe of them, that they were not in awe of their man. So busy worry about 'he forgets my birthday/anniversary/Valentine's Day" 'he's always working/never spends time with me' 'he doesn't help around the house'

Gah! Most men do their fair share and most women are too caught up trying to be queen b to appreciate any of it. At the end of the day if you cant be in awe of your partner then why should they be in awe of you..,

K- I think I'm done ...

Tania Desire, i love both of your posts, well said

 

[Shannon Sassy]

 

[Happy2]

I assume you would not mind if I opened a door for you then Tania?

I still feel so many marriages dont work because sometimes it gets hard Money gets tight And of course we have arguments

Its to easy to say its Too Hard and just walk away Instead of doing the hard thing

I had a great marriage But we had our fair share of tiffs and financial hard times But we worked through them Did the hard yards as they say

 

[Shaylee]

 

[Shaylee]

 

[nextplease69]

what she forgets is that as a woman- she has no fraking clue what it's like to be a man- why don't women spend one day as a man

There was a documentary on ABC a couple of years back, where men and women, husband's and wives in this case, were given hormone therapy to bring their levels inline with the opposite sex, i.e - men's oestrogen levels to that of a woman and women's testosterone levels to that of a man's.

As you would suspect, the men were inexplicitly weepy and emotional but the really interesting thing was the women. Initially the test was meant to run for a week, but was cancelled after two days because of the violent outbursts of some of the women.
Unable to control the rage they felt at the slightest little thing, doors were getting slammed, glass was getting smashed and when there was two or three assaults against partners within the space of a few hours, it was canned straight away.
A week or so later, when everyone's hormone levels were back to normal, they interviewed the couples again and as one the women couldn't get their heads around what it's like to be charged with testosterone, how we men deal with it every single day.
The men answered in pretty much the same way to all their wives, that that's what it's like to be a man. From day one in our lives we have to learn to control it. For some of us with unusually high levels this can be near impossible, but thankfully for most of us, by the time we grow out of our teens, we don't really even have to think about it to much anymore.
And let me stress, I am not trying to say that this in any way ever excuses violent or inappropriate behaviour. We've had our entire live to learn self control, we weren't just given injections and then WHAMO!!
Welcome to male hormone levels.
Anyhow, if you can't control it, then you deserve what ever punishments come your way from that sort of behaviour.

It was a great show I thought. You could clearly see the greater closeness the couples gained, in the better understanding of each others feelings behind the emotions.

I would be scared to try it with my wife though, she's already feisty enough as it is, add testosterone in to the mix and

 

[Happy2]

Yes nextplease69 Imagine a girl in the thrall of PMT suddenly having a shot of testosterone
Though it could be a great secret weapon in sieges

Or a mine collapse Tell the girl the bloke who dumped you is at the end of this closed off tunnel

 

[Dez]

I assume you would not mind if I opened a door for you then Tania?

I don't mind having a male open a door for me

Actually something very interesting that we have encountered through the BDSM scene is the difference between those D-types that want the door opened for them, and those that open the door for the s-types. For us, it's more than a gentlemanly gesture, it's a sign of him leading, and providing me a safe passage. And control. I always wait for him to go through a door first, or for him open a door to instruct me to go through. It's a very simple ritual between us that mostly is undetectable and has meaning to us.

Some women though get really poopy about not being able to open their own door and that's ok for them, if they want to ride that feminist brand of horse...

So when I encounter other men, that open doors, or let me pass first I try to be aware and gracious. Not because they control me, but they thought enough of me to do that... Even if they were a stranger... I find that beautiful about human nature.

 

[Sir Cruiser]

I don't mind having a male open a door for me

Actually something very interesting that we have encountered through the BDSM scene is the difference between those D-types that want the door opened for them, and those that open the door for the s-types. For us, it's more than a gentlemanly gesture, it's a sign of him leading, and providing me a safe passage. And control. I always wait for him to go through a door first, or for him open a door to instruct me to go through. It's a very simple ritual between us that mostly is undetectable and has meaning to us.

Some women though get really poopy about not being able to open their own door and that's ok for them, if they want to ride that feminist brand of horse...

So when I encounter other men, that open doors, or let me pass first I try to be aware and gracious. Not because they control me, but they thought enough of me to do that... Even if they were a stranger... I find that beautiful about human nature.

Being a gentleman costs nothing but the karma is great and i enjoy being respectful to all as i appreciate it when i get it

 

[Happy2]

I remember a line my old dad used when he got the "How dare you" from a woman And dad was never being condescrnding opening a door I mean he was born during world war one It was just how he was raised and also instilled in me

But his reply was always

"I did not open the door because you are a lady ,
I opened the door because I am a gentleman"

 

[sunyun]

Winston Churchhill was famous for his quick responses.

The story goes that one day, as he and some others moved from the Parliamentary dining room to the 'Smoking Room', Winston entered in front of a woman walking next to him.

She immediately turned to him and said, "Sir, if you were a gentleman, you would have let me through the door first !'

Winston immediately replied, "Madam, if you were a lady, I would have !"

 

[Cayla Cream]