losing it in my sex life - help

[iidd7]

ok - ive done all I can :

wife - she is there - 32 - and thinks she is not sexy - but she is sexy - really
she has put on a little bit of weight - but thats nothing - and she is not obse

but she is never happy , and our sex life is next to nothing.

belive me Ive done all, gifts, flowers, diners, you name it...

Now I need someone to coach me on a couple of encounters that I can do - I dont know what but I just need to get in contact wih someone who is wise to turn something around for me/us

She is sexy ( I nice sexy photos of her that I oogle on most times ) and it irritates me that I cannot have fun with this woman.

HELP!

 

[Mrs Langtrees]

How many young children do you have?

 

[homer]

hormonal imbalance maybe?...depression?...self image problem?

 

[Saige]

Oh sweetheart, shame It is a story that I (and I am sure many) working girls hear from our clients.

The woman's psyche is a complicated one and one tip I can give is persistence, dont give up...show her she is worth fighting for!!

I guess there is a couple of things you need to look at... firstly, you really need to sit her down (with a good bottle of wine!!) and have that heart to heart, tell her you are worried about her and it makes you deeply sad that she is not happy..that you are here for her and please "lets talk"...women love to talk and with a few wines, a open heart and no judgement she should open up. MEN PLEASE NOTE..you may see a sexy woman in front of you, yes you should say but huuni you are sexy and beautiful etc etc but dont look or respond to it with your male/mars brain of black and white....if she feels this way validate it "I understand you dont feel sexy" is enough, this is her time to open up.

I know this is very 101...but cuddling, women love to snuggle, there is something about a man's strong embrace that can be very protecting and JUST NICE...it will usually let all those horrible feelings melt away....and hold it, cuddles are meant for feel like they last for an eternity..let he be the one to break/move from it.

Dont expect this to just disappear overnight either, you will need to work on this. It sounds like you are committed to it and her so good for you xx

In the bedroom techniques, let me know and I am happy to post some tips that will get her feeling like a sexual godess!!

p.s I am a firm believer in food, nutrition and exercise as being vital for your wellbeing...to approach this is a difficult one however maybe starting with a health kick yourself and suggesting you do it together is good. Maybe, if you are a reader, start with a great nutrition/wellbeing book that you are reading and make a suggestion from there (check out www.booktopia.com.au one of my fav booksites)...and as an add on to the health book Louise Hay You Can Heal Your Life is my bible and a must read for everyone!!!.

p.p.s I know for some there is a stigma attached but I am a huge fan of counselling, further education ie workshops (he he thought I would just slip that one in, but true!!) for personal development..it is just a matter of finding the right one for you.

Good luck I hope some of this was helpful to you...my favourite saying "take what you need and leave the rest"

bless xx

 

[Perth boy]

Welcome to the mrs palmers club. Many of us have the same problem. With some girls no matter what you do or what help you get it just will not happen. In 10 years you may still have the same problem. If she is one that can not be helped you need to choose , move on or stay with the one you love. If you stay sometimes it's best just to go see a WL to get your fix. But remember its not always greener on the other side. I believe you should get some help from a sex theropest. This could take a while be patient with her. Sorry if I'm a bit negative but I do understand what you are feeling and have been through this for years. Good luck and if you need a private chat PM me.

 

[Mrs Langtrees]

No use commenting until we know how many young kids. It a thing woman get no interest in sex with young kids inderfeet. Natures way of making sure we didn't fall pregnant to quickly in the olden days.....and also the same reason woman in there late thirties come back into there own....but by this time they blame the old man, when it was nature at work.

 

[Saige]

Welcome to the mrs palmers club. Many of us have the same problem. With some girls no matter what you do or what help you get it just will not happen. In 10 years you may still have the same problem. If she is one that can not be helped you need to choose , move on or stay with the one you love. If you stay sometimes it's best just to go see a WL to get your fix. But remember its not always greener on the other side. I believe you should get some help from a sex theropest. This could take a while be patient with her. Sorry if I'm a bit negative but I do understand what you are feeling and have been through this for years. Good luck and if you need a private chat PM me.

Perthboy - I was worried by the first half but you rained it back in nicely HOWEVER there is no one on the face of this earth that is beyond help or cannot be helped...when we as a human race start thinking like that we are DOOMED!! xx

100% a sex therapist is your best bet can i suggest

Fai at Sexual Focus Counselling
Unit 5, 46 Angove St, North Perth
0412 147 917

 

[iidd7]

2kids - youngest past 8 if it helps.

SEXY SAIGE - yup ive done almost all you suggetsed - except for counselling - just that its out of the question - for cultural background reasons....
( like we are not used to them - and I am sure it will turn her off more ).
having said that, other than that our culture is not conservative - we are NOT from a muslim background .

 

[iidd7]

I just need a guide - on a few ventures eg:
1. get the this gift
2. wrap it in this colour
3. give it at this time
4. bla blah ... do this - do that.

I know it all has to come from me, but I HAVE EXHAUSETED ALLLLLLLL IDEAS. now atleast if I try somebody elses idea, I wont feel bad if it goes wrong.

No offence intended.

 

[Sensual ~ Vanessa]

I agree with Saige, counselling could be the next move,
sometimes women have underlying issues they haven't dealt with
that can only be suppressed for so long and we have a habit of internalising into our sexuality
and there comes a time when we need an expert to help us shake up whats going on
below the surface and to have professional support when that happens is usually the best way
to deal with it.

 

[oz-surfer]

I agree with (most) of what has been said here.

But if you want a "guide" - why not try a weekend or night away. Even a nice meal and a stay over in a hotel in Perth, Freo or Mandurah ...make sure it's a nice place ..... try wotif for hotel discounts (there are so many nice ones)...

Don't make it sound like a dirty weekend - just a chance for you both to get away from the kids have some "me / us time" and relax.....keep it respectful and romantic and focus on her having fun....

Good Luck

 

[iidd7]

oz-surfer - thanks for the advise - that comes close to what Ive been thinking for some time.

 

[Master Yoda]

What may help is to seek some coaching or direction on communication and interaction in this context.

I have found material from David Shade is very helpful and time tested. Some of his ebooks may be free.


Hope it helps

 

[JasRob]

I think its best for you to see a WL to help you fix....Maybe if you get the best WL she'll bring out something that will get you horny and improve your sex life!

 

[iidd7]

Saige -
wish there were more like you in this world.

and - great advise " take what you need and leave the rest"

 

[IVY Q]

You can check her hormone balance. You can discuss this with your local JP.
Believe me ! I have seen allot of females battling the same issue.

I wish you all the best !!
Luv Ivy xx

 

[teddEbear]

A weekend away sounds so nice. Send her to a day spa so she can get all pampered and while she's out txt her to let her know just how much you're dying please her any way she wants once she gets back to the hotel room..

You could take her on a trip down memory lane and go to the same places as your first dates, take a cooking class together or a hot air balloon ride...go sailing or go for a bike ride around the foreshore.... I know these things all sound corny but sometimes corny works the best!

Hope it all works out.... Let us know

 

[Sandi Lang]

All such good advice not much to add other maybe foreplay woman need a lot more attention all over there bod, there are lots of erogenous zones other than the obvious . a lot more affection , a little romance , maybe a gift now and then ....

 

[MIA LOVE]

while she's out txt her to let her know just how much you're dying please her any way she wants once she gets back to the hotel room..

That part of your writeup is my favourite and makes me smile and wonder

With a clean smelling clean clothed man, knowing he has made the effort for me. He hand me a drink, doesnt talk much. Lots and lots of eye contact... A big passionate kiss moving away slowly with him staring into my eyes... Gives me time to freshen up whilst he organizes more drink, music, ambience or naughty video.

Soft long strokes all over me, adoring my feet, toes, kissing my hands looking at my fingers..

All those little bits count for a woman... makes her feel she's the centre of your universe right then and there.

Bike rides picnic outings etc all these should lead up over couple days before the big WOWmance..

hmmmmm