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Jealousy issues

pause78

pause78

Ryder Deep
Diamond Member
Points
1
Hi all, I'm struggling with jealousy and self esteem issues and thought I'd just vent on here.

So I became friends with an escort a few months back and over time I've developed a bit of a crush on her personality. We'd never work and she doesn't feel the same, which is fine, I do genuinely just want to be friends and put those feelings aside. But you can't just turn them off like a light switch, it takes time.

Here's the funny thing. I have zero jealousy issues around her work, hearing the stories about how happy some of her clients have made her is wonderful. I feel very happy for her and love supporting her. But when she shows or talks about the porn she's made with other guys I get very jealous. It hurts a lot to be honest. Maybe because they have a genuine connection that I long for? Or maybe it's insecurity and I feel like I don't measure up. She doesn't want to shoot with me because I'm not attractive enough? She does know I want to shoot with her!

Anyway, it's messed up my self esteem a bit and I've said things to push her away so that there's distance between us. I think I just need to forget the friendship and forget her. Which is hard and I don't want to do it, but my own mental health is suffering. I'll miss our chats a lot.

I have a goal of shooting solo and boy/girl content, and I think I just need to focus on that and my own self-esteem issues. And if in a couple of months we can be friends again, then great, but if not I'll be in a better place anyway.

Anyway, thanks for listening TalkinSex people. It's not the kind of thing I can chat to my "real world" friends about!
 
Bailey Blake

Bailey Blake

Bailey Blake
Gold Member
Points
0
I have had this 'issue' with partners in the past, I don't see it as an issue really just something that can be worked on. I create content with men and women and more often than not it is not while in a relationship with them - It's just fun and exciting being with someone 'new', this does not make my relationship with my primary any less valid or make my love for them any less strong. My partners have wanted to do full shoots with me and I haven't wanted that in return purely because the men i have shot with have been professionals and it makes shooting 'more aesthetic' content easier and smoother. I shoot 'amature' content with my partner on the regular no problem but when it comes to 'proper' shoots i'm picky. This again is not anything to do with them being insufficient or 'not enough'.. It's quite hard to put in to words but I hope this helped 💓
 
Lingus

Lingus

Legend Member
Points
175
It seems obvious to me that, in simple terms, both people here want to have the cake and to eat it too !
 
Down boy

Down boy

Gold Member
Points
0
It’s a tough one mate.
Have you considered that it might just be because the porn shoots are something that you really want to get into. For others in the same situation it could be a different trigger, even something pretty mundane. But the fact that they’re doing it with someone else and enjoying it even though they know it’s your thing can cause a lot of jealousy or hurt very easily.
 
Trishaxxx2

Trishaxxx2

Gold Member
Points
0
Oh babe, is that the reason you disappeared 🥺 I'm sorry to hear that.
You kinder like me, it takes time to forget. I've had 3 very intense relationships and it's taken me a year to slowly forget their face and love myself again.
but life is definitely too short to be worrying about that crap anymore. I would rather a fish, much more exciting and I have very little anxiety anymore 😅 I know weird.

Anyways Self love babes ❤️❤️
 
T

Tania Admin

pause78 said:
Hi all, I'm struggling with jealousy and self esteem issues and thought I'd just vent on here.

So I became friends with an escort a few months back and over time I've developed a bit of a crush on her personality. We'd never work and she doesn't feel the same, which is fine, I do genuinely just want to be friends and put those feelings aside. But you can't just turn them off like a light switch, it takes time.

Here's the funny thing. I have zero jealousy issues around her work, hearing the stories about how happy some of her clients have made her is wonderful. I feel very happy for her and love supporting her. But when she shows or talks about the porn she's made with other guys I get very jealous. It hurts a lot to be honest. Maybe because they have a genuine connection that I long for? Or maybe it's insecurity and I feel like I don't measure up. She doesn't want to shoot with me because I'm not attractive enough? She does know I want to shoot with her!

Anyway, it's messed up my self esteem a bit and I've said things to push her away so that there's distance between us. I think I just need to forget the friendship and forget her. Which is hard and I don't want to do it, but my own mental health is suffering. I'll miss our chats a lot.

I have a goal of shooting solo and boy/girl content, and I think I just need to focus on that and my own self-esteem issues. And if in a couple of months we can be friends again, then great, but if not I'll be in a better place anyway.

Anyway, thanks for listening TalkinSex people. It's not the kind of thing I can chat to my "real world" friends about!
Click to expand...
Friends connect on different levels. All my friends are different people who I feel differently about. It's that simple. No point complicating it :)
 
A

Annoyance

Just like Yoda said once @pause78 relationships with WLs can cause men a lot of grief in the long run. Especially when it's a one sided relationship.
From reading your post even thou you say you want to be friends part of you, wants to play a more active part in her life in this case making a movie. Leaving your own foot print in part of her life.

And just being friends you don't want to limit her on things she can't speak to you about, cause it might ruin this relationship you have with her. So it'll eventually come up a topic that you will feel jealous & wonder why you weren't playing a part in it. Showing your need to be by saying you want to be in one too with her. And rejection for contributing but getting nothing in return. And because of her rejecting your input it's put you down this path you are on now.

Hate to say it @pause78 but this friendship is a toxic one for you, and understand why you need to leave it or be up front about it to her. Cause you are mentally thinking of wanting more when she can't give it to you. Stay or go do know the negative impact it will have on your life in the long run.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
pause78

pause78

Ryder Deep
Diamond Member
Points
1
Really appreciate your feedback and advice everyone, gave me a lot to think about. I decided to lay it all out, and got rejected harshly and hurt badly. Who knew! Silly me.

Thanks again, it's something I've learnt a lot from and will be in a better spot to handle my emotions in the future.

Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do next, I was really looking forward to making content with her as a couple!
 
pause78

pause78

Ryder Deep
Diamond Member
Points
1
Trishaxxx2 said:
Oh babe, is that the reason you disappeared 🥺 I'm sorry to hear that.
You kinder like me, it takes time to forget. I've had 3 very intense relationships and it's taken me a year to slowly forget their face and love myself again.
but life is definitely too short to be worrying about that crap anymore. I would rather a fish, much more exciting and I have very little anxiety anymore 😅 I know weird.

Anyways Self love babes ❤❤
Click to expand...
Yeah that's the reason I disappeared Trisha! hehe - I should get a fish! 🤣 Sorry if I got a little weird on Twitter a while back, this all really got to me to be honest and I'm still struggling with not feeling good enough. But it's kinda inspiring at the same time, I want to look hot! hehe
 
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