Is this PASSIONATE or STALKER behaviour?

[Master Yoda]

The following is an email request by a WL who has just recently departed from the industry......and does not want to be identified.

She has seen some behaviours from more than one ex patron that is scaring her.

She asked me to put some EDITED messages out there from one individual that are consecutive in a short space of time to see if other ladies experience the same behaviours and also to hope that this behaviour is reduced. The messages were received within a space of a few hours and there are plenty more before and after. These messages are on a number that she no longer uses.

As I said before I am putting this out there by reasonable request to get the good insight from this great community. I have no opinion and I am not going to give one. So I kindly ask members to refrain from throwing unnecessary and unpleasant criticisms at anyone.....they will be ignored. However please give an opinion on the matter if you have one and stay on topic.

She has been assisted in a relocation and has a job away from the sex industry which is her will and is happy. Yet she says that she holds a level of fear from a few passionate/obsessive individuals.

Below are the messages she forwarded me..............

Forgiveness for me being stupid
To be friends again


Smiles because i miss them.
I think i get upset wit u because u don't answer my txt sometimes...i will try to be better...not so sensitive..ok you have the best smile ever. Nite


Got some money(profit) from selling &&&&& shares...yippee...i can come and visit you this week.
Do you need anything?


The guy is crazy ...making u wk everyday...14hrs a day...its slavery....other places dont do that.


Ok...i will ask my friend to get interview for you.
Do you want that?


How will i see u again...pls dont do this. I am very upset. Pls see me again
I will leave work and see you now.


..i hope you change ur mind. We have a connection u and me....i cannot explain it but its there. Pls dont lose my ph no. Pls dont cut me off..in my heart i want the best for you. I wish i had the money to take you away from your horrible life and give u something better....i am like u stuck where i dont want to be...i want to be free too.


@@@@@@..pls trust me...i always come back to u..i alway think of you....i am crazy about you.


Will u meet me ...pls.


Coffee..dinner..lunch...ice cream...zoo?


Very very upset...cannot think,cannot work....very upset.


I understand that you need a new life...i think you are too smart for this.....too good ...too sensitive....too beautiful..i saw that in you long ago..the first time i saw u.. you must leave this behind .

I am super sad if i dont see you again but if it means that you are happy...and safe...then i am happy for you. My heart is happy and sad all at the same time .....crazy hey.


Pls call me if you really need help or if you are in trouble..or need someone to talk to....my heart is breaking .....really .....i have to go for a walk....i cant stay in office anymore...tears are in my eyes and i cannot see the computer..



@@@@@...pls tell me true..dont have new job right...you are with someone now..a new man ? You dont know if yo are going to be safe right?



I am going crazy with my mind...think are you safe....will i ever see u again....i need to know you are safe.pls



Pls answer my txt...if you are free woman then you can answer. If you are safe then you can answer...if you are my friends and you know me well...pls answer.


If you want new life ok...ur heart and my heart are very close...you know that..so txt back ok.



@@@@@...you remember the last time i see u. I know u tired and sore...so i was gentle . I spent most of my spare money going to ur work place hoping i could see u. Then when u txt me ...i quickly get all my money$100 only left..just to see you. I didnt care about sex...i just want to give u chocolate bunny...



@@@@@ what do you want from me....do you want me to leave my life for you?


Ok @@@@@..i am abit more calm.....i cannot leave my life for u. I am stuck....ihope you have a good,safe and happy life. Dont lose my number and i wont forget u.


Its crazy...how can i get over u in a few hrs...not possible.....i have been in love with you the first time i saw u...i visited u more than anyone else in my life..i txt you more than anyone..i was upset with you more than anyone else....now i have to say goodbye after we just make up...now i cannot see you again?


I want to tear my hair out and yell !!!! We were going to get together sgain @@@@@...my heart is breaking into pieces...


I am upset...i am too upset ....i need to go home....i cannot work today.


Why do you have to cut off ties with me?


Why not just keep in contact..maybe things will turn out alright between us... have faith and hope.


Dont lose things that are valuable and important in life.....new life yes, but dont cut off everything...like love and friendship and help . You never know when you might need them again.



This is happening again...ive become a stalker again...txt you maybe 40 times...i not improving at all maybe worse!!!



Ok...i think your best friend find you work...i think you going to eastern states....i think you want to stay in australia longer than visa limit...i think i am very very heart broken.



Good luck ..change your name from @@@@@ to @@@@@ ....better name for you pls txt me when you are settled and tell me ur safe. Ok xxx



Oh btw i have chronic leukemia.
I have not told anyone that....i may not have long to live and i wanted you to know that i feel afraid you made me feel better.
No bullshit.
I can show you my medicines
Chronic lymphocyctic leukaemia...google it.



@@@@@...just one more txt from you pls....am i right you are leaving.

@@@@@..i hope that by telling you my secret and all my feelings...you realise that i think you are very important to me and i want you in my life. I have aways had you in my heart and mind. Pls call back.



Ok @@@@@...i cant do anything..it up to you..everytime..its up to you..you have always been the boss of me. So if you talk to me or not ..i have no control....goodbye and goodluck. ### xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Its funny...this is the third time we say g'bye....the sadest one...the most hurt. This time i do nothing wrong and we still find ourselves saying g'bye....its like the last two g'byes were practice....so that this one doesnt hurt too much...but it still hurts just as much for me...it hurts more than the others ever will....i went to east perth to find u. I might try to find you again...i dont know...its like i'm trying to find you all the time....its like life..we try to find someone and when we do, they leave.



@@@@@ please txt me.



@@@@@...yuo have period yes?
You always upset when you have period.


Now u know how much i like you


Ok im going to guess again...i guess that you have period. That you are going to another job. That you are still in %%%%% but you are going soon. Most likely today. That you are going to eastern states...maybe queensland or melbourne....most likely melbourne.



Ok...we are alwaya saying goodbye to each other.. how about you talk to me .....tell me what you want and i see if i can help


Now im going to spend more money trying to find you.



@@@@@ pls change ur mind about me.



Ok, then...i tried my best...i have told you thing i dont tell my best friend...i cant understand why you still cant see me anymore....new life or not..unless you are going away or you dont like me....so i guess i accept what u say....goodbye @@@@@.​

​

 

[JoepGeluk]

if they are recieved in a short space of time, it seems quite obsessive. Can you give any insight in what the lady replied?

 

[Master Yoda]

if they are recieved in a short space of time, it seems quite obsessive. Can you give any insight in what the lady replied?

She went from being annoyed to being afraid and did not reply.

 

[asianguy77]

Not any different to any non mutual break up, where the ties are suddenly cut, but the difference is the relationship was not two way. She may have been too good at her job in providing the GFE, and in doing so, the guy genuinely thought the feelings was mutually shared.

We all know situations where someone who has been jilted has acted/texted messages in a irrational behavior. The danger as it is in that situation and also the case with this is if they still can't let go and move on, and take it that step further.

 

[svengali]

This kind of behaviour puts the lady in a an invidious position.

This man is crazy, obsessive and won't take "no" for an answer and his behavour would easily qualify as stalking which is illegal.

However, if the lady wants to leave her old life behind and start over the last thing she wants is to draw attention to her past by involving the Police. If she knows where to find this man her best bet would be to lose her old 'phone first and if he manages to track her down again have a restraining order served on him.

A less legal but possibly more discreet option would be to have a large male friend call on him and gently suggest he desist,.

 

[Tania Admin]

It's sad that there are so many lonely people out there, some of them latch on to WLs/someone even though feelings are not reciprocated and the bond is imagination.
Those messages coming so close together (all within a few hours) are quite concerning, I worry for the gentlemans emotional stability and I worry for the wl involved. There are some not quite right people out there and this situation is more than just a little obsessive. Especially where it's stated that money will be spent to find her..
I hope her residential location is not known to him.

 

[Adrianna Lush]

ABSOLUTELY STALKER BEHAVIOUR....WITHOUT A DOUBT.
This is such a difficult industry. ..I've found that if u give a client an inch...he'll take a mile.

 

[Shirazamatazz]

ABSOLUTELY STALKER BEHAVIOUR....WITHOUT A DOUBT.
This is such a difficult industry. ..I've found that if u give a client an inch...he'll take a mile.

Hi Adriana,
Do you have any advise for other WL if a client gets way too clingy for comfort. Not that I'm defending the guy stalking this poor lady, but you would have thought she would have noticed something strange at some point. I know I have stopped dating girls if they start getting too full on. Find it a turn off. Being "business" this situation maybe different. Any advice for WL's may help them in the future. Im sure its not a first.

Happy Sunday

 

[sunyun]

Definitely obsessive, probably stalking too.

A bit late now, but a possible solution would be for her earlier in the piece (and any other girl who recognizes this behavior starting), would be to send one last text saying, "I am leaving the industry for good. If you care about me, as you say you do, then please let me go. After this text, I will be destroying this sim card."

Then NEVER reply, or accept any kind of communication from him.

She should destroy that sim, so that she does not have to worry about looking at her phone and seeing another text from him again.

Any communication only encourages obsessives, and gives them false hope, which could lead to dangerous behaviour by him.

 

[Adrianna Lush]

Hi Adriana,
Do you have any advise for other WL if a client gets way too clingy for comfort. Not that I'm defending the guy stalking this poor lady, but you would have thought she would have noticed something strange at some point. I know I have stopped dating girls if they start getting too full on. Find it a turn off. Being "business" this situation maybe different. Any advice for WL's may help them in the future. Im sure its not a first.

Happy Sunday

Yes definitely not a first.
Being a sex worker, one must delicately balance the client's needs and her own needs. These are emotional, psychological, sexual, financial and physical. These are rarely black and white. Though one would hope that professional boundaries would be respected, over time and frequent visits, it becomes increasingly difficult to not get personal. Despite not meeting in the 'real' world, the w/l and client are having some form of a relationship. ..which does transcend the mere cash/service exchange.
So, my advice/thoughts would be to ALWAYS look out for your psychological and physical health first and foremost. These MUST come before money and the client. I think possibly where it has become too full on for the w/l, sometimes we think that we can handle it and do fall into the trap of thinking short financial gain. It is tiring constantly keeping tabs not only on your client but more importantly on your own expectations. A good w/l is a combination of compassion and personal strength. Unfortunately, in some cases compassion is perceived as authentic loving feelings by the client and possibly w/l are distracted by immediate financial gain and instant gratification rather than channeling their personal strength to be honest with themselves and see the early warning signs and take heed. Every client thinks they're different. And sometimes when you hear that so very often, you let one through the cracks. W/l are certainly addictive (hookers some might say). But we have the responsiblity to ourselves and our clients to Always maintain the position of power. It's a tough gig. Fast money, high emotions...these are people's lives...fantasy and real.

 

[Shirazamatazz]

Yes definitely not a first.
Being a sex worker, one must delicately balance the client's needs and her own needs. These are emotional, psychological, sexual, financial and physical. These are rarely black and white. Though one would hope that professional boundaries would be respected, over time and frequent visits, it becomes increasingly difficult to not get personal. Despite not meeting in the 'real' world, the w/l and client are having some form of a relationship. ..which does transcend the mere cash/service exchange.
So, my advice/thoughts would be to ALWAYS look out for your psychological and physical health first and foremost. These MUST come before money and the client. I think possibly where it has become too full on for the w/l, sometimes we think that we can handle it and do fall into the trap of thinking short financial gain. It is tiring constantly keeping tabs not only on your client but more importantly on your own expectations. A good w/l is a combination of compassion and personal strength. Unfortunately, in some cases compassion is perceived as authentic loving feelings by the client and possibly w/l are distracted by immediate financial gain and instant gratification rather than channeling their personal strength to be honest with themselves and see the early warning signs and take heed. Every client thinks they're different. And sometimes when you hear that so very often, you let one through the cracks. W/l are certainly addictive (hookers some might say). But we have the responsiblity to ourselves and our clients to Always maintain the position of power. It's a tough gig. Fast money, high emotions...these are people's lives...fantasy and real.

That's a great reply Adrianna. Well said and hope this helps other working ladies to read the signs and avoid similar situations. All the best.

 

[Smoggy]

That was well said Adrianna.

That guy is definitely a stalker and potentially very dangerous. This may be left field but it reads like it was sent by somebody with a different cultural attitude towards woman. I have worked with guys born and raised in different countries and some have little respect for woman. They demand a woman's attention and can get really nasty if they don't get it.

WL's must see these type of guys all the time. I'm glad that I'm the one wearing the condom as being a WL can be the easiest way or earning money in the world or it can be the worst.

 

[Adrianna Lush]

That was well said Adrianna.

That guy is definitely a stalker and potentially very dangerous. This may be left field but it reads like it was sent by somebody with a different cultural attitude towards woman. I have worked with guys born and raised in different countries and some have little respect for woman. They demand a woman's attention and can get really nasty if they don't get it.

WL's must see these type of guys all the time. I'm glad that I'm the one wearing the condom as being a WL can be the easiest way or earning money in the world or it can be the worst.

agreed and you're right re other cultures. I have found this in the sex industry and corporate field as well so it isn't just about sex. I think it's equality.

 

[Ginger Spice]

GAHHHHHH!!!




That is all.