Jayne Darwin
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Workplace disagreements and tension are inevitable, the workplace can be a stressful, competitive place and that doesn't always bring out the best in everyone. Handling these office conflicts can be difficult to resolve in a professional and courteous manner that will leave you feeling confident and respected.
Here are some points to remember next time you find yourself in the awkward position;
Don't Gossip About The Conflict
When you're clashing with a coworker, venting to your work wife may feel satisfying in the moment BUT office gossip has the potential to backfire really quickly. Remember, there are ears everywhere, and you'll rightfully look unprofessional if anyone over-hears you badmouthing a colleague. We all need to vent after a tough work day, but when the problem is a colleague conflict, try to call a friend or family member once you're home instead of letting off steam in the break room.
Address The Conflict Sooner Rather Than Later
If trouble has been brewing between you and a coworker for a while, don't wait until you both feel completely hostile towards one another. Addressing the issue early, will prevent it from snowballing into an even bigger problem, especially if the problem actually turns out to be a misunderstanding or a relatively small issue.
Discuss The Problem Face to Face
Don't let the problem marinate any longer than you have to; schedule a face-to-face meeting in a private setting with your coworker, and block off plenty of time so that both of you can express where you're coming from. It may be tempting to solve things via email, especially if the idea of conflict makes you cringe. But trying to resolve a disagreement in that manner is inefficient and can potentially make the situation worse — it's really easy to misunderstand someone's thoughts when they're not accompanied by things like a tone of voice or facial expressions. And this is especially true when both parties are feeling defensive. So suck it up, and talk in person — sometimes, this gesture alone is enough to defuse things.
Try to find common ground
Instead of jumping right into your grievances when you meet up, set a cordial tone by identifying something you both can agree on even if it's somewhat abstract. Saying something like "We both want this project to work" or "We're both passionate about this company's mission" will remind you both that, even if you're not wildly fond of each other, it's your job to collaborate in order for your department and team to succeed. Even "We both want this office to be a nice place to work" might help.
Keep an open mind
The key ingredient to understanding a coworker's point of view is listening to how and why they feel how they feel. When it's your colleague's turn to talk, hear them out and don't interrupt. However, once they've made their case, don't be afraid to ask respectful and thoughtful questions if you feel unclear about any points they raised. You are really trying to understand things, after all.
When It's Your Turn To Talk, Stay Calm
When we have disagreements with our friends and family members, things often get heated and emotional. But in the workplace, we don't have the luxury of letting our tempers get the best of us. Not only will it escalate the conflict — it could also earn you a reputation for being difficult to work with, which can both dampen your career prospects and lead to fewer invites to join the gang for lunch quesadillas. So take any steps you can to maintain a level head while explaining your point of view.
Know When You Need To Involve A Third Party
If a colleague has mistreated you because of your gender, race, sexuality, religion or age, whether by sexually harassing you, making threats or just acting cruel, it's not "tattling" to speak with your manager/person who hired you.
Learn From Both The Conflict And The Resolution
While you and your colleague may never be best friends, it'll be a huge relief when you're finally reached a détente. But that doesn't mean you'll never have coworker drama again. So it's always good to reflect back on what caused the conflict in the first place and what was most (and least) helpful during the resolution Be introspective and recognise how your own actions may have contributed to the issue — even if they were unintentional. During the resolution, was there a moment when you or your coworker said something that helped turn the conversation's tone from tense to cordial? Use the process as a learning experience for the next time trouble rears its ugly head across your cubicle
Here are some points to remember next time you find yourself in the awkward position;
Don't Gossip About The Conflict
When you're clashing with a coworker, venting to your work wife may feel satisfying in the moment BUT office gossip has the potential to backfire really quickly. Remember, there are ears everywhere, and you'll rightfully look unprofessional if anyone over-hears you badmouthing a colleague. We all need to vent after a tough work day, but when the problem is a colleague conflict, try to call a friend or family member once you're home instead of letting off steam in the break room.
Address The Conflict Sooner Rather Than Later
If trouble has been brewing between you and a coworker for a while, don't wait until you both feel completely hostile towards one another. Addressing the issue early, will prevent it from snowballing into an even bigger problem, especially if the problem actually turns out to be a misunderstanding or a relatively small issue.
Discuss The Problem Face to Face
Don't let the problem marinate any longer than you have to; schedule a face-to-face meeting in a private setting with your coworker, and block off plenty of time so that both of you can express where you're coming from. It may be tempting to solve things via email, especially if the idea of conflict makes you cringe. But trying to resolve a disagreement in that manner is inefficient and can potentially make the situation worse — it's really easy to misunderstand someone's thoughts when they're not accompanied by things like a tone of voice or facial expressions. And this is especially true when both parties are feeling defensive. So suck it up, and talk in person — sometimes, this gesture alone is enough to defuse things.
Try to find common ground
Instead of jumping right into your grievances when you meet up, set a cordial tone by identifying something you both can agree on even if it's somewhat abstract. Saying something like "We both want this project to work" or "We're both passionate about this company's mission" will remind you both that, even if you're not wildly fond of each other, it's your job to collaborate in order for your department and team to succeed. Even "We both want this office to be a nice place to work" might help.
Keep an open mind
The key ingredient to understanding a coworker's point of view is listening to how and why they feel how they feel. When it's your colleague's turn to talk, hear them out and don't interrupt. However, once they've made their case, don't be afraid to ask respectful and thoughtful questions if you feel unclear about any points they raised. You are really trying to understand things, after all.
When It's Your Turn To Talk, Stay Calm
When we have disagreements with our friends and family members, things often get heated and emotional. But in the workplace, we don't have the luxury of letting our tempers get the best of us. Not only will it escalate the conflict — it could also earn you a reputation for being difficult to work with, which can both dampen your career prospects and lead to fewer invites to join the gang for lunch quesadillas. So take any steps you can to maintain a level head while explaining your point of view.
Know When You Need To Involve A Third Party
If a colleague has mistreated you because of your gender, race, sexuality, religion or age, whether by sexually harassing you, making threats or just acting cruel, it's not "tattling" to speak with your manager/person who hired you.
Learn From Both The Conflict And The Resolution
While you and your colleague may never be best friends, it'll be a huge relief when you're finally reached a détente. But that doesn't mean you'll never have coworker drama again. So it's always good to reflect back on what caused the conflict in the first place and what was most (and least) helpful during the resolution Be introspective and recognise how your own actions may have contributed to the issue — even if they were unintentional. During the resolution, was there a moment when you or your coworker said something that helped turn the conversation's tone from tense to cordial? Use the process as a learning experience for the next time trouble rears its ugly head across your cubicle
