Help me... I`ve fallen.

[billybones]

Someone please help me.... I think I have fallen in love with my best friend.

We laugh, we joke, we msg or call each other all hours of the night, I find myself wishing I could be with her all the time.

What should I do?? Should I tell her?
What if I tell her and it spoils the friendship we have?

I told myself I would never fall for her but I guess nobody knows the future.

Could you ever be close again to someone but not sexual once they tell you that they have more then friendship feelings for you?

What would a W/L do if one of her regular clients asked to be more then a friend?

 

[HappyPirate]

Ahoy;- it happens all the time, go for the gamble;- tell her and good luck
Cheers and Pass the Rum

 

[Master Yoda]

In my experience when landing in this situation...........

Firstly, don't beat yourself up.....you're human and this is one of the most natural things. You already love and admire this person. So having further feelings is not uncommon. In fact good on you for acknowledging it to yourself.

When it gets to this often a women would sense something already. And there are 2 ways to go about it.

1. Be dishonest to yourself and dishonest to her and don;t say anything. Try and be as normal. The likely outcome is that things will be a normal for a while while yo are hurting. THen she will notice more changes and things may go down hill from there.

2. Be open and honest and tell her how you feel and be truly willing to accept what ever happens.. She will admire your courage. At expressing your true feelings make sure to let her know that you will be honest with her and nothing can stop you and that she now has a choice and is free to choose what she wants to do without any consequence. Be with you........not be with you but remain friends........not be with you and not remain friends.....


I am not making stuff up as this has happened to me and I have done all of the above. I have done the dishonest thing in the fear that I will lose her altogether. And trust me that just put me through a lot of hurt and ended up losing her anyway. Whether she sensed something was wrong or she ended up with someone else which really hurt.

Other times I have been open and honest. And results were always good.

1. She ends up with me.

2. SHe is so appreciative of my courage and honesty we remain friends while she acknowledges me at a new level.

3. We fall out of contact. (In this case it would have hurt a lot more to be a chump and not be able to have her).



Hope that helps. It has been various experiences of mine

 

[svengali]

Yep! Yoda has nailed it.

Women are intuitive creatures and If you are not completely open with them they will sense something is amiss and keep digging until they find it. If you resist their gentle probing suspicion and resentment will quickly sour the relationship and things will go downhill rapidly from there.

Proceed cautiously but don't be timid. You know her well enough to figure out the best approach. Who knows, she may be feeling the same way and in any case she should appreciate your being upfront with her.

 

[johnlou]

this is so true , if you do nothing then you will always wonder, "what if. " and not fair on the lady to do what she needs to do .

In my experience when landing in this situation...........

Firstly, don't beat yourself up.....you're human and this is one of the most natural things. You already love and admire this person. So having further feelings is not uncommon. In fact good on you for acknowledging it to yourself.

When it gets to this often a women would sense something already. And there are 2 ways to go about it.

1. Be dishonest to yourself and dishonest to her and don;t say anything. Try and be as normal. The likely outcome is that things will be a normal for a while while yo are hurting. THen she will notice more changes and things may go down hill from there.

2. Be open and honest and tell her how you feel and be truly willing to accept what ever happens.. She will admire your courage. At expressing your true feelings make sure to let her know that you will be honest with her and nothing can stop you and that she now has a choice and is free to choose what she wants to do without any consequence. Be with you........not be with you but remain friends........not be with you and not remain friends.....


I am not making stuff up as this has happened to me and I have done all of the above. I have done the dishonest thing in the fear that I will lose her altogether. And trust me that just put me through a lot of hurt and ended up losing her anyway. Whether she sensed something was wrong or she ended up with someone else which really hurt.

Ot I have been open and honest. And results were always good.

1. She ends up with me.

2. SHe is so appreciative of my courage and honesty we remain friends while she acknowledges me at a new level.

3. We fall out of contact. (In this case it would have hurt a lot more to be a chump and not be able to have her).



Hope that helps. It has been various experiences of mine

 

[wr3xr]

BB,

If you truly arent deep in the friend zone (ie she complains about guys she sees to you) then go for it but if you know she only sees you as a good friend then telling her will ruin your friendship.

I've been on both sides of that fence and its never worked out

 

[Master Yoda]

There is little we can do to control circumstances, especially if they have already played out. We have the gift of choices. And one of the privileges we have is to condition ourselves to have the strength to make choices that can seem uneasy at times. Yet deep down we know making certain choices bring us to a better outcome.

 

[Dallas]

Yes Yoda has nailed it. I only wish I understood this when I was a lot younger!

 

[Langtrees VIP Perth 3]

You have had some good advice. Going for it will be better than always wondering x

 

[homer]

As Pink sings it, "Try".

 

[Barbosa]

Aayyyyyeeeee roll the dice and speak out, better to Try, than do nothing

 

[Ginger Spice]

Someone please help me.... I think I have fallen in love with my best friend.

We laugh, we joke, we msg or call each other all hours of the night, I find myself wishing I could be with her all the time.

What should I do?? Should I tell her?
What if I tell her and it spoils the friendship we have?

I told myself I would never fall for her but I guess nobody knows the future.

Could you ever be close again to someone but not sexual once they tell you that they have more then friendship feelings for you?

What would a W/L do if one of her regular clients asked to be more then a friend?

I have clients who have seen me once or twice and asked to take me on a date, or asked for my number. I politely decline but at the same time I don't want to upset them after they have had a good time. If they press the issues I usually end up having to take their number because they make me feel bad haha Then I feel bad for a few days afterwards because they are probably waiting for a phone call/text which unfortunately won't arrive. AS I HAVEN'T MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I believe that if feelings aren't expressed/told from both sides then one side will end up getting hurt eventually. Better to tell her straight out, find out how she feels before your feelings get deeper and you get hurt more...

Hope that made sense

 

[Master Yoda]

I have clients who have seen me once or twice and asked to take me on a date, or asked for my number. I politely decline but at the same time I don't want to upset them after they have had a good time. If they press the issues I usually end up having to take their number because they make me feel bad haha Then I feel bad for a few days afterwards because they are probably waiting for a phone call/text which unfortunately won't arrive. AS I HAVEN'T MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I believe that if feelings aren't expressed/told from both sides then one side will end up getting hurt eventually. Better to tell her straight out, find out how she feels before your feelings get deeper and you get hurt more...

Hope that made sense

You are spot on LITTLE MISS SPICE EVERYTHING NICE . Although it is so so hard in making feelings clear with the intention of not hurting the other person (and it happens too often in your line of work). It is infinitely better to be 100% authentic in responses as it is much better for both parties as feelings getting bruised and actions getting out of hand is inevitable. That took a lot of breakthroughs to achieve such a habit.

Yet I understand the challenge on your part......doing the right thing may run the risk of a non returning client. It can be a double bind......

 

[Sherry]

Everyone has given really good advice regarding your situation.
So all I can add is that I think it's going to be so difficult to have feelings for someone and not say anything. And svengali is right-she will pick up that something is wrong. I would maybe bring up the subject of relationships-you know what she looks for in a guy-if she's wanting to be in a relationship at the moment etc- and see what she says.
Hopefully from her answers you'll be able to get a bit more of an idea about where you stand.
Good luck and keep us posted xxx

 

[whilom]

BB

Guys usually fuck up subtle so be yourself.
Tell her like you would talk to a male friend.
You say you have a bond already so she will pick up on any mamby pamby sugar coating.

Do it and do it soon. Roll the dice and may good fortune be with you.