Happily married yet unhappily satisfied???

[Tattooooooo]

Hey there forum goers,

I Would like some input into my dilemma... I am married and have been for 4 years now; my wife is absolutely stunning and I do love her to pieces... We have two beautiful children together which I treasure with my whole being... The problem? Well my wife has a major problem with urinary infections and pain when ever we have sex.... But after going 2 months without it I start getting a bit grumpy so we try again and the same thing happens (pain, tears, etc).

We are trying everything such as foreplay and lube etc, but it's now at the stage that she just doesn't want to have sex... But then no matter what I do, massages etc I still don't get anything... No relief what so ever! (

I am only 32 and still in my sexual prime, and I am struggling... I would never leave her, but I so desperately need to feel the soft love from a girl...

What's everyone's thoughts on this? Are there any girls or guys in a similar position? Is it wrong to visit a paid establishment in order to get relief if you just cannot get it at home?

Appreciate your input...

Cheers

 

[TheCock]

Constant urinary infections and pain?? Maybe there is something bigger going on need to see a specialist?

 

[Saige]

Cock...cumming on her breasts is not going to help this situation....believe me......oh dear!!

Tattoooooooo, I here this so, men who deeply love there wives, there lives however for some reason there wives are going through a stage or someting and sex is nto working....I applaud you for what sounds like the right things...have you ever thought of a sexolgist??

One of my cleints, he too explained this but he said he made the decion on seeing a working girl as he knew she would be clean, it was not like having an affair and an emptional attachement, bit yet a working girl could still give you the necessary connection required. He could then go home at the end of teh week. kiss his wife and be happy with her at his side instead of the feelings of resentment he was trying so hard to fight.

Good luck with everything, it defintely is not an easy situation or solution....

 

[rust47]

Hello Tatt its a very difficult call and destroyed my first marriage.Satisfying sexual desires elsewhere invariably leaves a subtle imprint which will change things at home. She may well choose to ignore any little signals if as you do she wants to stay together,however if not lots of mutual tears and pain. Have you exhausted all medical help especially Urologists who deal with this sort of problem daily, GOOD LUCK . Rust

 

[svengali]

Yep!!

This is definitely one for the specialists and note the plural. get your G.P. to refer you to a urologist for starters but if you don't get satisfaction, get to another specialist, do some research on the condition and keep trying until you find someone who can help. If something is seriously amiss "down there", and it certainly sounds as if it is, it could cost you more than your sex life.

 

[Tattooooooo]

Thanks guys, trust me we have exhausted all medical options... We have literally spend thousands on different specialists etc... None of which have found the answer... We have obviously both been tested several times for all STD's etc and nothing...

I know that being satisfied helps because when we actually do have sex we are in an amazing place for a while then it just turns bad again...

Sexy Saige, I'm beginning to lean toward the same option as your client...

Are there any girls out there that have had the same problem?

 

[Tattooooooo]

And by specialists, I include urologists, sex therapists, sex hypnotists, surgeons, etc...

 

[colbb123]

I think women have a level of intuition about what we men are up to. I'm sorry to hear that your situation sounds like it may on going and understand why you are looking for advice on how to fill an important void (sex, affection and intimacy) that we all need. I have been in a similar boat for a while and took the plunge about 6 months ago to see a w/l. It was awesome, I've seen the same wonderful lady quite a few times since then. For me, not telling my wife was easy at the start but the deceit has started to affect me. May be its just me. I can carry a lie for a short time but ultimately my conscience and need to share how I'm feeling with my wife is getting the better of me. At this stage I can't see myself ever telling my wife about my visits. However, I am often amazed at my wife's (and many women for that matter) ability to understand, forgive and work with me with other issues I had kept to myself, then blurted out. If the truth is going to come out, the sooner the better for everyone. So my friend here is my two bobs worth....you don't know how or when your conscience may sneak up you (it may not) but if it does and you confess a month, 6 months or a year down the track, would the effect be worse or better than talking to your wife now about the idea of you both seeing a w/l? I don't know the answer for you or for me. Let me know if you find out Best of luck to you.

 

[AlexandraSilk]

you confess a month, 6 months or a year down the track, would the effect be worse or better than talking to your wife now about the idea of you both seeing a w/l? I don't know the answer for you or for me. Let me know if you find out Best of luck to you.

Some woman understand a man requires sex and will look the other way when they visit a WL. Some won't stand for it. Tattoo you know your wife. Would she understand?

Then there are also some men who enjoy the sense of "naughty" which can come with visit a to a WL their wife does not know about. This can then add to the appeal of visiting a WL.

 

[Tattooooooo]

I actually think that my wife would understand... I'm not sure however that I could bring myself to tell her... I will admit the thought of seeing a w/g is getting me excited! Haha! And excitement is exactly what I need... My wife and I have been in a much better place just after talking to you all about this!

 

[Perth boy]

Tattooooo sex is very easy to find but Love is very hard.

A lot of married guys see working ladys and dont discuss it with the wife.

But the best sex you will have is with the one you love. (most the time)

 

[Rochelle]

Hi Tattooooooo before you do anything you might regret later on you should ask yourself if you want to tell your wife about it and if you decide not to if you are able to live with it afterwards or if your conscience will eat you inside out.
It sounds very much like your wife has a more serious problem there and to be honest......2 months is not a long time to stick to her and to try to work through it together.
Some things can't made undone.........and especially because you love her to bits take the time to consider your next step carefully.
Good luck

R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tattooooooo]

Hi Rochelle, I have asked myself that question several times trust me and I completely agree with your 'business' point... I definitely think that makes it a lot easier... I'm not looking for emotions, we are good together emotionally; I just need some 'physical' attention...

I know 2 months is not a long time, but that's not a given... For the record, I think we have had some sort of sexual activity together 10 times in the last 4 years!! It's killing me... But I love her, thus the confidence that I'm not looking for an emotional attachment - just physical!

Just for the record, this forum is great... It's nice to know that there are honest people out there that are willing to offer good advice and support! Thanks!

 

[colbb123]

....I'm not looking for emotions, we are good together emotionally; I just need some 'physical' attention...

Tattooo your story has really grabbed my attention (in a good way), some fundamental similarities in situation. I think Rochelle has made some very good points. I completely agree that any activity outside of home should be with a professional WL. It sounds like you are getting closer to making a decision....if so that's good. One last thing I would like to offer as food for thought relates to Rochelle's comment about married women vs seeing a professional WL ''....harder to get emotionally attached''. I agree that it is less likely, but be mindful that you are seeking something physical because it makes you FEEL good. Feeling good feels good and who wouldn't want more of that...one day I realised I had become emotionally attached. Sorry mate I get a bit waffally this time of night. I think my suggestion was to keep a healthy awareness of the emotions you get if you do proceed and if you get a sense that things might be getting a bit to close for comfort on your part try seeing more than one lovely lady or have a complete break for a while. Off to bed, apologies to all if this doesn't make any sense

''you stay classy San Diego''

 

[Tattooooooo]

Thanks Colbb123, your comments make perfect sense! And definitely i will keep that in the forefront of my mind... It is 'physical' attention that i am after, and if it ever gets 'emotional' then yep, ill have to walk away for sure!

:happy7:

 

[Lofty]

....I'm not looking for emotions, we are good together emotionally; I just need some 'physical' attention...

Tattooo your story has really grabbed my attention (in a good way), some fundamental similarities in situation. I think Rochelle has made some very good points. I completely agree that any activity outside of home should be with a professional WL. It sounds like you are getting closer to making a decision....if so that's good. One last thing I would like to offer as food for thought relates to Rochelle's comment about married women vs seeing a professional WL ''....harder to get emotionally attached''. I agree that it is less likely, but be mindful that you are seeking something physical because it makes you FEEL good. Feeling good feels good and who wouldn't want more of that...one day I realised I had become emotionally attached. Sorry mate I get a bit waffally this time of night. I think my suggestion was to keep a healthy awareness of the emotions you get if you do proceed and if you get a sense that things might be getting a bit to close for comfort on your part try seeing more than one lovely lady or have a complete break for a while. Off to bed, apologies to all if this doesn't make any sense

''you stay classy San Diego''

Colbb123 - what a great piece of advice you have offered and so true.

 

[svengali]

Of course, the "cheating" aspect of seeing a lady of the night has had a good airing and that is fine but it is also worth considering the financial side of things too.

Punting is an expensive and sometimes compelling hobby. O.K. if you are filthy rich but If a "normal" family man was siphoning serious money off from the shared funds and secretly spending it on himself that could be regarded as very selfish. If you and your wife decide you can see W.L.'s openly there will need to be a suitable quid pro quo for her to keep the ledger balanced.

 

[longlasting]

Hey there tattooooo,

I feel your pain, my wife has always found sex too painful, we've sought medical advice from gps and specialists, but she has lupus and it's not that simple as a pill to fix it.

In the past 3 to 4 years I've pretty much gone without and sought the help of WLs. I too would never leave my wife and the thought of messing up someone elses relationship doesn't sit well with me either.

I guess I could say its good to know I'm not on my own there.

Dave

 

[LovinLife]

I always thought that my ex-wife not wanting sex was isolated to just us. This forum is paying dividends already.

 

[Claire]

stick to releasing the pressure from a number of different working girls that way you wont have any emotional connections to the girls. Many private girls will offer 15min specials (stick to clean decent ones like myself) which will help the urges and not really break budget any more than a big night out on the town.

There is nothing wrong in using sexual services because it is a completely physical thing.

In my opinion...