• If you are having any problems posting threads plz message Kate. since latest update we have had 6 members with problems, sorted those but yet to find the problem.

Girls Are Secret Detectives.

I used to go through my exes phone. An invasion of privacy? Perhaps. But my instincts were right. If I hadn't found out he was cheating I would have been at risk of std's, it could have even been a death sentence (AIDS).
 
Phoebe said:
what made you suspect he was cheating on you in the 1st place?
Click to expand...
He had been accusing me of cheating since I was 7 months pregnant with our 3rd, with 2 young children and living in a small town. He was staying out a lot and had become even more abusive. Plus I felt it in my gut..
It wasn't the first time he'd done it either..
 
I am sorry to hear that, I really am, how can men do that, to a woman they get pregnant, really how can they cheat on a woman whom has carried 3 kids for him, really that sucks, was it with a WL or chatting a woman up? as alot of women can forgive a man whom sees a WL but not an affair that involves chatting a woman up.

I feel for you Tania, really I do :(
 
Phoebe said:
I am sorry to hear that, I really am, how can men do that, to a woman they get pregnant, really how can they cheat on a woman whom has carried 3 kids for him, really that sucks, was it with a WL or chatting a woman up? as alot of women can forgive a man whom sees a WL but not an affair that involves chatting a woman up.

I feel for you Tania, really I do :(
Click to expand...
It was with whomever he could get. No not WLs.
 
Like most men realize its too late when its too late...

Thats good to hear, you go gurl :) naughty thoughts hmmm nice one there Tania ;)
 
Tania said:
I used to go through my exes phone. An invasion of privacy? Perhaps. But my instincts were right. If I hadn't found out he was cheating I would have been at risk of std's, it could have even been a death sentence (AIDS).
Click to expand...

I find that perfectly acceptable if you're in a relationship. In fact, I have always made it a policy to never lock my phone or computer when I'm in a relationship and I never take calls out of her hearing unless she asks me to...and I share with her all my friends and who I talk to, no secrets, no cheating. That's the least a partner should expect I think. I really feel for you in how you were treated by your ex, sadly this is such a common situation. Some guys don't know how lucky they are to have a great partner.
 
Dallas said:
I find that perfectly acceptable if you're in a relationship. In fact, I have always made it a policy to never lock my phone or computer when I'm in a relationship and I never take calls out of her hearing unless she asks me to...and I share with her all my friends and who I talk to, no secrets, no cheating. That's the least a partner should expect I think. I really feel for you in how you were treated by your ex, sadly this is such a common situation. Some guys don't know how lucky they are to have a great partner.
Click to expand...
Thank you xo I'm all good. I got 3 gorgeous kids and life is awesome at the moment :)
 
Its not so much detective work but i always go thru my husbands phone/facebook whatever i want really.. and i absolutely think its my right too.. just like he can at anytime go thru any of my things... its if he didnt let me i would be worried.
i also would feel the same and do the same if it was a boyfriend.

The best detective work i have ever seen was done by a clients wife.... She walked in and i introduced myself, we had a chat and i asked if she was looking for work... she said no "I'm actually looking for my husband" i told her i had no idea who she was talking about ... then she told me not to bother lying as she had turned the tracker on his Iphone and it had led her here..... he was well and truly busted.
 
jeezy creezy... I can just feel the trust hanging thick in the air.

some call it stalking but ican it love
 
Last edited by a moderator:
rachy said:
Its not so much detective work but i always go thru my husbands phone/facebook whatever i want really.. and i absolutely think its my right too.. just like he can at anytime go thru any of my things... its if he didnt let me i would be worried.
i also would feel the same and do the same if it was a boyfriend.

The best detective work i have ever seen was done by a clients wife.... She walked in and i introduced myself, we had a chat and i asked if she was looking for work... she said no "I'm actually looking for my husband" i told her i had no idea who she was talking about ... then she told me not to bother lying as she had turned the tracker on his Iphone and it had led her here..... he was well and truly busted.
Click to expand...

Thats dam funny! did she go to the room he was in or did she wait in the lounge if she did she should of hustled a bit, whats good for the goose..... funny as Rachy..
 
We have complete transparency here. I'm not allowed to not give access to my phone or social media accounts. He is allowed to go through them whenever he likes, or rummage my laptop. I could do the same but frankly: he's boring.

On a different note though, my younger sister who had been living with me at the time had signed on to Facebook on my iPad and forgot to log out. I received a pop up msg from Facebook which partially revealed a msg from an ex of mine: you left your pants in my car.

I thought that was a bit odd so I openned the msg thinking he had sent it to me, but by mistake. Not quite. He had intended it for my sister whom he later lied about sleeping with. Gave him a far chance to answer me honestly but he blew it, and thus blew 15years of friendship down the guzzler.

Doesn't pay to be sneaky if you get caught. Better off just never being in the position to have something to hide - unless you like that kind of drama and consequence...
 
I have NEVER and would NEVER go through a friend's or partners anything.
To easy to find stuff out of context.
I find even thethought wierd and creepy
 
bushseeker said:
I have NEVER and would NEVER go through a friend's or partners anything.
To easy to find stuff out of context.
I find even thethought wierd and creepy
Click to expand...

The thing is though, my instincts weren't wrong and that was extremely evident in my exes messages. There was definitely no taking things out of context.

Naughty Thoughts has given me his passwords for his phone, fb and everything. Not once have I ever used them. I trust him explicitly and (though some people say "Never say never") I 100% know that NT, my Soul mate, would never cheat on me. We play together and it just makes our love stronger.
 
You dont need to go through someones stuff to find thier a lying asshole....
 
with my circumstance its not so much trying to find out information, my husband and i both leave our phones lying around the place. If i need a phone and his is closest i will use his and sometimes i will jump on his facebook have laugh or whatever. It has nothing to do with trusting him. I get that some people do go through their partners phones etc, I don't see it as a problem depending on what your intentions are to begin with.
 
Never have and never will........even if 30 years together I would respect and expect privacy.......(phone, valet, emails, letters are no touch) and honestly who cares if one partner has got a fling or two......as long as the relation ship is all good....why bother to find out? Plus nothing wrong with keeping some things to yourself.......I find it scary when there is no privacy in a relation ship.
 
This has been a really informative thread. I think you summed it up Rochelle when you said, "as long as the relationship is all good". I think empathy and communication is the key. I've been in relationships where my partner was suspicious of everyone I talked to and wanted to know everything, while I've been in another where bringing her a girl home was more of an exciting surprise than bringing home flowers and chocolates.
 
Rochelle of Langtrees said:
Never have and never will........even if 30 years together I would respect and expect privacy.......(phone, valet, emails, letters are no touch) and honestly who cares if one partner has got a fling or two......as long as the relation ship is all good....why bother to find out? Plus nothing wrong with keeping some things to yourself.......I find it scary when there is no privacy in a relation ship.
Click to expand...

So say he comes home and you see makeup and lipstick on his white shirt you ironed and laundered for him the day before, after he called you at 3pm saying "Hey Rochelle I gotta work late tonight, but hes banging your best friend instead" what would you do, I would be okay if a partner dropped into a parlor and just unloaded except if we needed that cash for something else, as in marriage whats yours is his and vice versa, so I would be annoyed but said partner went to a bar and chatted a woman up . then for me DIVORCE would be on the cards same for work colleagues and your friends too, it would be over for me.. if you wish to keep secrets from a loved one then well there is no point in being together.. I know guys whom are married and their wives turn a blind eye to all of this and you see them and they are all unhappy.......

And most working ladies are all for this kind of behavior and we all know there is a massive amount of married men that use working ladies services that's why Langtrees is open 24/7 as they hope hubby didn't get his 6am wood sucked at home so he drops by and well... you know the rest...
 
Hang on there is a difference between being openly disrespectful and being discreet. If my "husband" would play around in front of everybody that I classify as disrespectful and then it might as well be the end of it. But if he would have the occasional discreet adventure for fun.......what's the big deal? Nobody can own a person and I think this urge to own is the root of jealousy and nastiness.
And yes, I want to be able to keep secrets from who ever I chose to. I think it is healthy to have secrets. Afterall we are all individuals and I don't believe in total symbiosis.
 
Honestly I think if you suspect a partner of lying to you that's grounds to reevaluate the relationship, proof or not. I have never even considered going through my partner's phone; I know he values his privacy and he's 100% entitled to it. I honestly don't believe that just because you're in a relationship you own them in any way or have an automatic right to know everything that goes on in their lives.
 
Rochelle of Langtrees said:
Hang on there is a difference between being openly disrespectful and being discreet. If my "husband" would play around in front of everybody that I classify as disrespectful and then it might as well be the end of it. But if he would have the occasional discreet adventure for fun.......what's the big deal? Nobody can own a person and I think this urge to own is the root of jealousy and nastiness.
And yes, I want to be able to keep secrets from who ever I chose to. I think it is healthy to have secrets. Afterall we are all individuals and I don't believe in total symbiosis.
Click to expand...

Wouldn't you want to know why he wants to see other women or men as some men cheat with other men behind your back? Marriage vows make people exclusive to each other. I would want to know what I was not doing to please my partner to cause this, either sexually or in life in general, if they saw a WL say once I would forgive em if that continued it would be over, IF they went to to a bar or club and chatted someone up then no chances sorry I would not forgive as that is emotional involvement so no chances I would be filling for divorce there and then, and I would still demand to know what and where I failed in pleasing them..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top