Drex
Silver Member
Today's discussion will focus on the despicable issue of fake photos in online massage / escort advertisements, a widespread problem that is worsening by the day. In Australia, the use of fake photos is a frustratingly common element in erotic massage scams which I regularly encounter in my persistent penile pursuit of a happy ending.
Not surprisingly, there's always dodginess to be found when a masseuse is attempting to part money from the wallet of a horny customer. Fake Photos are probably the most frustrating scam, you're chasing a juicy handjob or brisk blowjob but end up with the cunning ConJob.
You see, many of us erotic massage addicts will be hunting down a local parlour / girl online and we're a superficial bunch. We tend to like our masseuses to be young and hot as nobody likes to get jerked off by a lady named Menopause Mildred or Dorothy Mantooth.
Most of the massage parlours or private girls working from home will use online advertising platforms to promote themselves. The problem is there's tonnes of competition and the girls know that a picture of a comfortable massage table isn't going to be enough to lure you in. If I'm browsing adverts, I'm not going to stop at one advert and think "wow check out the thread-count on those towels!" or zoom in before exclaiming "Almond oil over Jojoba oil? Y'all aint fucking around" - Point is, I'm a fucking neanderthal and they know this.
So the devious bosses started posting pictures of the masseuses supposedly working at the parlour as that WILL draw in the horny guys. Now I'm certain in the early days of the internet, the girls posted real pics but they swiftly realised that guys don't want a massage from a creature that looks like she's from the black lagoon. So that's when the fake photos started to creep in and once one massage parlour started, the rest followed suit and we now have tonnes of adverts where every masseuse looks like she's hot enough to be in a K-Pop group.
As a customer this is fucking annoying as you turn up expecting a massage from the cute girl from Crouching Tiger but instead get jerked off by that creepy old lady with the blowdart contraption.
Some of you are probably saying "C'mon dicklips, surely it's not as bad as you're making out?"
Ok let me illustrate with some real adverts that I found. We'll break it down into sections, here's a few common photo tactics by the businesses who post these fake photos;
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 1: The ugly older sister
The ugly older sister strategy is when the massage parlors inject lookalike fake photos amongst the real photos. They then claim it's the same girl if queried:
Here's a perfect example. Some guys will just see the seductively posed, hot, bunny-faced girl on the left and start running towards the car with wallet and erection at the ready. What they didn't notice was that Grandma Flapjacks on the right was also pictured and I guarantee she'll end up being the masseuse that is going to be performing the extras / funeral-rites on your cock.
Most customers would hopefully question why they have to get massaged by the lady who looks like her handjobs smell like methadone when the picture was clearly of a girl much hotter. In these cases the shop always plays the "same girl - look, same clothes!" card and they hope that you're weak / horny enough to just say fuck it and go with the lady who lives in a gingerbread house.
On the left, we have the charming air-force captain who could have me ejecting into enemy hands at the speed of sound. On the right, there's the older spitfire that I simply wouldn't want buzzing around my engorged flight-tower. I'm sure when customers question the fact that their masseuse looks twenty years older than the first girl, they get told, "It's me, but an old photo, honey."
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 2: Every masseuse is a model
This fake photos scam is when the massage parlour simply can't be fucked with posting any real photos amid the fakes so they just go all out. Every girl pictured looks like she's from Playboy or a Japanese bukkake video. It's pretty hilarious as I see the photos and think "If that girl did happen to an erotic masseuse then she'd be jerking off prime ministers not perverts like me!"
When you turn up and find none of the advertised girls working you'll be told such tales as "those girls are on holiday", "they left and we haven't had time to update the gallery" or "it's same girls, you need eye prescription not massage darling"
Here's an real example of a girl that have been advertised as working at my local erotic massage parlours;
Does anyone actually expect their erotic masseuse to look like this? Don't get me wrong, I've been massaged and jerked off by some stunning girls but turning up expecting girls like the ones above will lead to a disappointed penis boys. If photo's like the above are being posted then it shows the massage parlor has no problems scamming you and I'm willing to bet that your masseuse will end up looking like this instead;
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 3: Every masseuse is an emoticon
This fake photos scam has become very popular of late. The scam involves posting fake photos (as per usual) but covering the girls face with some stupid emoticon or picture. What does this achieve? Well two things, they want you the monger to assume that this is a real girl who wants her identity hidden so nobody knows she's milking loads.
Secondly, it just gives the owner an out when you say "Hey that's not the girl from the photo" as you can't see her face so as long as she vaguely looks the same then they'll insist it's the same girl.
Here's an example of an emoticon masseuse;
It's a fucking guarantee that none of these "shy" girls covering their faces will be found at the local erotic massage parlor and the only emoticon used during the massage session will be this;
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 4: The Usual Suspects
In this devious scam, the massage parlor posts a lineup of real pictures of the average looking staff and then one photo of an extremely beautiful girl. It just so happens that every time you visit, the stunner is sick, overseas, on her period or riding a fucking unicorn.
So above we have the wow lineup. You'll notice the first lady is pictured in the reception of the shop but strangely Coco is outside holding a bunch of flowers? Why? because that's what cute girls do in fairytales and Coco's just a figment of your imagination. Please don't keep going back hoping that she'll be there to hold your flesh-bouquet as Coco is just bait to lure you into the oily hands of the older ladies.
Apologies for the rant above but erotic massage parlours are a topic near and dear to my heart / cock. I often find myself dabbling in parlour games but the scene has got progressively worse over the years. It’s a blessing in disguise though as the skyrocketing prices, the poor service and shooting loads in what feels like an old folk’s home has me actually stockpiling some funds in the hope that the scene returns to its former glory.
Not surprisingly, there's always dodginess to be found when a masseuse is attempting to part money from the wallet of a horny customer. Fake Photos are probably the most frustrating scam, you're chasing a juicy handjob or brisk blowjob but end up with the cunning ConJob.
You see, many of us erotic massage addicts will be hunting down a local parlour / girl online and we're a superficial bunch. We tend to like our masseuses to be young and hot as nobody likes to get jerked off by a lady named Menopause Mildred or Dorothy Mantooth.
Most of the massage parlours or private girls working from home will use online advertising platforms to promote themselves. The problem is there's tonnes of competition and the girls know that a picture of a comfortable massage table isn't going to be enough to lure you in. If I'm browsing adverts, I'm not going to stop at one advert and think "wow check out the thread-count on those towels!" or zoom in before exclaiming "Almond oil over Jojoba oil? Y'all aint fucking around" - Point is, I'm a fucking neanderthal and they know this.
So the devious bosses started posting pictures of the masseuses supposedly working at the parlour as that WILL draw in the horny guys. Now I'm certain in the early days of the internet, the girls posted real pics but they swiftly realised that guys don't want a massage from a creature that looks like she's from the black lagoon. So that's when the fake photos started to creep in and once one massage parlour started, the rest followed suit and we now have tonnes of adverts where every masseuse looks like she's hot enough to be in a K-Pop group.
As a customer this is fucking annoying as you turn up expecting a massage from the cute girl from Crouching Tiger but instead get jerked off by that creepy old lady with the blowdart contraption.
Some of you are probably saying "C'mon dicklips, surely it's not as bad as you're making out?"
Ok let me illustrate with some real adverts that I found. We'll break it down into sections, here's a few common photo tactics by the businesses who post these fake photos;
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 1: The ugly older sister
The ugly older sister strategy is when the massage parlors inject lookalike fake photos amongst the real photos. They then claim it's the same girl if queried:
Most customers would hopefully question why they have to get massaged by the lady who looks like her handjobs smell like methadone when the picture was clearly of a girl much hotter. In these cases the shop always plays the "same girl - look, same clothes!" card and they hope that you're weak / horny enough to just say fuck it and go with the lady who lives in a gingerbread house.
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 2: Every masseuse is a model
This fake photos scam is when the massage parlour simply can't be fucked with posting any real photos amid the fakes so they just go all out. Every girl pictured looks like she's from Playboy or a Japanese bukkake video. It's pretty hilarious as I see the photos and think "If that girl did happen to an erotic masseuse then she'd be jerking off prime ministers not perverts like me!"
When you turn up and find none of the advertised girls working you'll be told such tales as "those girls are on holiday", "they left and we haven't had time to update the gallery" or "it's same girls, you need eye prescription not massage darling"
Here's an real example of a girl that have been advertised as working at my local erotic massage parlours;
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 3: Every masseuse is an emoticon
This fake photos scam has become very popular of late. The scam involves posting fake photos (as per usual) but covering the girls face with some stupid emoticon or picture. What does this achieve? Well two things, they want you the monger to assume that this is a real girl who wants her identity hidden so nobody knows she's milking loads.
Secondly, it just gives the owner an out when you say "Hey that's not the girl from the photo" as you can't see her face so as long as she vaguely looks the same then they'll insist it's the same girl.
Here's an example of an emoticon masseuse;
Erotic Massage Fake Photo Scam 4: The Usual Suspects
In this devious scam, the massage parlor posts a lineup of real pictures of the average looking staff and then one photo of an extremely beautiful girl. It just so happens that every time you visit, the stunner is sick, overseas, on her period or riding a fucking unicorn.
So above we have the wow lineup. You'll notice the first lady is pictured in the reception of the shop but strangely Coco is outside holding a bunch of flowers? Why? because that's what cute girls do in fairytales and Coco's just a figment of your imagination. Please don't keep going back hoping that she'll be there to hold your flesh-bouquet as Coco is just bait to lure you into the oily hands of the older ladies.
Apologies for the rant above but erotic massage parlours are a topic near and dear to my heart / cock. I often find myself dabbling in parlour games but the scene has got progressively worse over the years. It’s a blessing in disguise though as the skyrocketing prices, the poor service and shooting loads in what feels like an old folk’s home has me actually stockpiling some funds in the hope that the scene returns to its former glory.
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