Do people break your confidence.....

[Ms Sue]

When was the last time some one broke your your confidence....
Was it personal or professional and how did you handle it ......
Ms Sue

 

[homer]

I haven't dealt with it. I stopped acknowledging the existence of this person but one more negative word from his foul pie-hole, i will be filing harassment with HR. That is how I will handle this person through the correct channel. Not going to bring myself down to his level.

 

[Master Yoda]

What are you actually asking. There are two possible meanings to your question.

 

[Madam Tracey]

A week ago , I told a close male friend about my weight loss surgery.....
He responded by saying ..how ridiculous and well it obviously didn't work.
I became silent....gutted (pardon the pun)....shocked.
I was completely taken aback by the insensitivity of the remark.
Over the next 24 hours I became consumed (pardon the pun) by what had been said.
I was so hurt.....BUT THE TRUTH OFTEN HURTS.
The person never intended to hurt me, I chose to investigate my feelings and move on.
He is still a close friend who I hope will be a little more mindful about some of the things he says.

 

[Madam Jacqui]

Tracey if he's Seen your Temper he Definately Will...................xxxxxx

 

[Katelyn]

A partner of mine called me stupid and put me down all the time everyday and used names such as fat c*** etc whilst we were together and ive never been the same since. I was a very confident young woman before i got with him and I am only now starting to gain some confidence back in the last few months.

 

[Ms Sue]

A week ago , I told a close male friend about my weight loss surgery.....
He responded by saying ..how ridiculous and well it obviously didn't work.
I became silent....gutted (pardon the pun)....shocked.
I was completely taken aback by the insensitivity of the remark.
Over the next 24 hours I became consumed (pardon the pun) by what had been said.
I was so hurt.....BUT THE TRUTH OFTEN HURTS.
The person never intended to hurt me, I chose to investigate my feelings and move on.
He is still a close friend who I hope will be a little more mindful about some of the things he says.

Tracey you look wonderful.... Sometimes people just don't think before they speak..... I am sure if he had his time over again it would have sounded very different.... xoxox

 

[Ms Sue]

What are you actually asking. There are two possible meanings to your question.

Really whether people deal with broken trust in a different way from a professional level to personal level......

 

[honestman]

I would imagine this would be more common than we'd realise.

In particular - in the office, at work, even amongst families (the larger you have, the more direct and alienated feel you'll get). In my case, it has always been more common (70%) at work, and the remainder at families (either blood-related, relative or extended).

I am a firm believer that there is NO differentiation between what is "professional/constructive" and what is "personal" criticism; despite so many people believe they can feel and know the difference (eg. constructive VS personal criticism). Think about it - BOTH co-exist towards ONE eventual predicament - you have been undermined and/or judged as a lesser value by the person (or in the surrounding environment) in front of you; either directly or indirectly. BOTH factors ultimately says the same thing - you need to "subjectively" improve upon yourselves.

At work
In my case - it's defenitely a case of "karmaic-cycle / dynamics" (hard to explain but I believe most do observe it as they happen). One moment you performed / did a great marvellous job at one point, and the next - out of the blue, something or someone will always undermine that feeling of contentment and accomplishment. Eg. erratic behaviours from bosses, and clients (I work in the creative industry), unforeseen / mistakes, mistakes beyond one's control (yet "name-and-blame" game happens, etc. I have been name-called, told as embarrassing, stupid, idiot, and pathetic many times throughout my career; and considering that happens through different environment/s work placements.

Hence, each and everytime "that" happens - the value and essence of trust between employers can deteriorate so bad - that no matter how far I have re-deemed - little is ever felt or received by the other party.

Amongst families
I believe that the larger your line of families are; the greater the "gearing" / or rippling effect over any slight difference of opinion/s. Typical of among my ethnic background - conservative thinking and ideology is favoured above any form of progressive way of life / beliefs. Backdoor arguments (especially among distant extended families) are common.

"Dealing" with it

• Approach, think, feel and perceive the world rationally & concretely for what it is.
  
• Grief and grudge over. Admit it - who has not felt one moment of this in their lifetime? You can deny yourselves that you are strong; but you can never admit how things are MADE or constructed to be felt.
• Recover yourselves through TIME. Time is the universal currency to life. Things recharge (some more stubbornly than others) but this is one aspect you cannot deny that it is THE essential makeup to life itself. TIME at the very least - gives an opportunity or two to recover your own values and belief system/s.

BUT the most important thing ever - never to stray away from what I believe in as what people intrinsically measure as "confidence".

Because I believe there is weakness in everyone else's too.

 

[Master Yoda]

Really whether people deal with broken trust in a different way from a professional level to personal level......

Well whether..personal. .professional. ..familial..or intimate...etc. Searching for reason or answer from the actions of others is futile.

If one was to search...the answer lies in what one had done or has not done in the treatment of the other persob inorder for a breach of trust to take place.

 

[Faith Moana]

When was the last time some one broke your your confidence....
Was it personal or professional and how did you handle it ......
Ms Sue

sleep a

 

[Raye@Langtrees]

Whether its professional or personal it would blend itself into one anyway ...so regardless. I feel u take it when it's dished on you, and it hurts badly , but as time goes by you get to no the person who holds the sword and you take it in stride ...no feelings left, u don't give a shit anymore, u become robotic....

 

[xZaidax]

Professionally I get frustrated and then I just laugh because it's petty and no amount of bad mouthing or shitty attitudes are going to change my working capabilities. They want to waste time trying to cause trouble that's fine, reports are made, and then wait for life (karma) to make the right move.

Personally well that's entirely different. If it's just me over-reacting I tend to calm down and keep going. But if it's intentional and malicious well see you later, dust my hands off and don't expect for me to willingly want to help you right away.

In essence if trust is broken, it will never be at the same capacity it was initially with *insert person's name here*, it takes a while to earn back and there will be limits on it but it's not impossible

 

[Faith Moana]

true!

 

[Thatguy]

I tend to trust people until given a reason not to... the closer i get with someone the more i trust them and then i open up more and let them get closer to me..

However if you lose my trust you will never get it back anywhere near the same level...

Unfortunately this has led to me being hurt badly in the past... end everytime has made it harder for me to let people get close to me now because i keep waiting for it to happen again... the most recent has been the worst and has left me in a bad place for a while...

Will i evet let anyone close to me again.. right now.. seems unlikely...

 

[Raye@Langtrees]

A week ago , I told a close male friend about my weight loss surgery.....
He responded by saying ..how ridiculous and well it obviously didn't work.
I became silent....gutted (pardon the pun)....shocked.
I was completely taken aback by the insensitivity of the remark.
Over the next 24 hours I became consumed (pardon the pun) by what had been said.
I was so hurt.....BUT THE TRUTH OFTEN HURTS.
The person never intended to hurt me, I chose to investigate my feelings and move on.
He is still a close friend who I hope will be a little more mindful about some of the things he says.

​

 

[Raye@Langtrees]

Professionally I get frustrated and then I just laugh because it's petty and no amount of bad mouthing or shitty attitudes are going to change my working capabilities. They want to waste time trying to cause trouble that's fine, reports are made, and then wait for life (karma) to make the right move.

Personally well that's entirely different. If it's just me over-reacting I tend to calm down and keep going. But if it's intentional and malicious well see you later, dust my hands off and don't expect for me to willingly want to help you right away.

In essence if trust is broken, it will never be at the same capacity it was initially with *insert person's name here*, it takes a while to earn back and there will be limits on it but it's not impossible

You are a very smart young lady xZaidax.....I to get frustrated professionally on all the points you mentioned. But it doesn't change my work ethic....which I must say I do well.
Yes if trust is broken it can never be the same as it once was, but professionally when this happens
work still goes on and we strive always to do our best regardless. Focus on what's in front of you at all times, and like you said all the backstabbers, and general busybodies with their pettiness will fall by the wayside (Karma). Never fear in a professional environment that you have to cowtow . always
defend yourself when untruths are stated. Here's a saying that I truly believe in.....




Something to keep in mind......​

 

[Morgan Sapphire]

I was put down so much as a teen because I had red hair, braces on my teeth and a body like a grasshopper. Oh, and also I was a straight A student. It was mainly the girls who had a go. The boys just wouldn't go near me..........Ten years down the track, when I received an invite to a school reunion, those GIRLS were no longer the apple of any boys eyes . In fact they didn't even get a look ! Me, on the other hand, got a lot of attention..."Who are you?" was the question asked the most. How times have changed.
My point is, no matter what gets thrown in your face during your lifetime, karma has a way of turning it around.
Be brave and face those nasties in life, and then later on ride the good wave called life . x

 

[ashley james]

A partner of mine called me stupid and put me down all the time everyday and used names such as fat c*** etc whilst we were together and ive never been the same since. I was a very confident young woman before i got with him and I am only now starting to gain some confidence back in the last few months.

He was obviously a loser! You are gorgeous! <3

 

[Vivienne]

He was obviously a loser! You are gorgeous! <3

He sounds like a tool

 

[Raye@Langtrees]

Well Ashley lets hope you are no longer with this clown....sometimes people put you down because there lives are useless, and full of shitty things.. glad to hear your confidence is getting back up there.xx

 

[Ms Sue]

Professionally I get frustrated and then I just laugh because it's petty and no amount of bad mouthing or shitty attitudes are going to change my working capabilities. They want to waste time trying to cause trouble that's fine, reports are made, and then wait for life (karma) to make the right move.

Personally well that's entirely different. If it's just me over-reacting I tend to calm down and keep going. But if it's intentional and malicious well see you later, dust my hands off and don't expect for me to willingly want to help you right away.

In essence if trust is broken, it will never be at the same capacity it was initially with *insert person's name here*, it takes a while to earn back and there will be limits on it but it's not impossible

Hey Maddie without sounding condescending I am surprised by your comment as you worked under me for such a long time and I felt that I didn't have a shitty attitude but I am open for constructive criticism .. In fact quite i felt the opposite.. The only reason that I would ride your bum was when you didn't complete or follower instructions …

Ms Sue

 

[DDxoxo]

Hey Maddie without sounding condescending I am surprised by your comment as you worked under me for such a long time and I felt that I didn't have a shitty attitude but I am open for constructive criticism .. In fact quite i felt the opposite.. The only reason that I would ride your bum was when you didn't complete or follower instructions …

Miss Sue .....
Did you ever think perhaps it was not you our Maddie was suggesting ! I know she thinks the world of you !!!

 

[xZaidax]

Hey Maddie without sounding condescending I am surprised by your comment as you worked under me for such a long time and I felt that I didn't have a shitty attitude but I am open for constructive criticism .. In fact quite i felt the opposite.. The only reason that I would ride your bum was when you didn't complete or follower instructions …

Ms Sue

Hey Sue,

DD's right my referencing wasn't about you at all >.< and to be perfectly honest I hold you in the highest regard as a mentor (and outside of work someone I'd like to think of as a friend) You've taught me a lot about the industry and systems we use. Along with Maryanne, DD and Raye I've had a pretty incredible mentor group and I'm beyond thankful for the opportunities that I've had and hopefully will continue to have.

DD thanks for seeing where I'm coming from :3 Like I've said in another post, every now and then I seem word things slightly off from what I intend and it gets taken the wrong way >.<

 

[DDxoxo]

Miss Sue .....
Did you ever think perhaps it was not you our Maddie was suggesting ! I know she thinks the world of you !!!

 

[DDxoxo]

DD thanks for seeing where I'm coming from :3 Like I've said in another post, every now and then I seem word things slightly off from what I intend and it gets taken the wrong way >.<

Yay for you xZaidaz, I think you are doing great! You are a good team player!

 

[DDxoxo]

I was put down so much as a teen because I had red hair, braces on my teeth and a body like a grasshopper. Oh, and also I was a straight A student. It was mainly the girls who had a go. The boys just wouldn't go near me..........Ten years down the track, when I received an invite to a school reunion, those GIRLS were no longer the apple of any boys eyes . In fact they didn't even get a look ! Me, on the other hand, got a lot of attention..."Who are you?" was the question asked the most. How times have changed.
My point is, no matter what gets thrown in your face during your lifetime, karma has a way of turning it around.
Be brave and face those nasties in life, and then later on ride the good wave called life . x

Great to hear that you were tops at your school reunion..... I like that!

 

[Morgan Sapphire]

Thanks DD. I don't let anyone get the upper hand anymore. Life can certainly make you stronger no matter what happens............

 

[Morgan Sapphire]

 

[DDxoxo]

Thanks DD. I don't let anyone get the upper hand anymore. Life can certainly make you stronger no matter what happens............

​