Daughters - who would have them?

[rankin]

Hi
I have two grown-up daughters. Both are stunning, intelligent, well-educated & have good careers.....and are off my hands...or so I thought. They are both married & I would have thought the world is their oyster for both of them .... but ..... I am having more sleepless nights now than when they were going through the formative years ie when they were at the age when first exposed to partying, sex, driving, alcohol, drugs etc etc. The dramas seem to get bigger as they get older!! Does it ever get easier??

 

[Master Yoda]

In the present world where young people have more information and rights presented to them more than ever before, and where wisdom is valued less than ever it poses a real challenge.

Often the us Gen Y (I only make by a month) cannot be told as we are far too intelligent (we're not) and have to fuck up before maybe learning a lesson.

 

[bushseeker]

Hi
I have two grown-up daughters. Both are stunning, intelligent, well-educated & have good careers.....and are off my hands...or so I thought. They are both married & I would have thought the world is their oyster for both of them .... but ..... I am having more sleepless nights now than when they were going through the formative years ie when they were at the age when first exposed to partying, sex, driving, alcohol, drugs etc etc. The dramas seem to get bigger as they get older!! Does it ever get easier??

As mum and dad found out next comes the messy divorces and just when you think the nest is empty their back..... with 4kids. Then theres the cops the court cases etc etc

 

[rankin]

As mum and dad found out next comes the messy divorces and just when you think the nest is empty their back..... with 4kids. Then theres the cops the court cases etc etc

Please, please no....thought I had done the hard yards ... I'm for the quiet life...

 

[Rochelle]

Ahhhhh you just confirmed what I always thought........kids are a never ending story.......hence I decided not to have any..........
However in regards of your daughters I can only say don't worry too much. I know that's what dads usually do (luckily mine is on the other side of the world ) but have some faith in their ability to deal with stress.

 

[rankin]

Ahhhhh you just confirmed what I always thought........kids are a never ending story.......hence I decided not to have any..........
However in regards of your daughters I can only say don't worry too much. I know that's what dads usually do (luckily mine is on the other side of the world ) but have some faith in their ability to deal with stress.

Thanks Rochelle ... I know you're absolutely right ... but easier said than done..

 

[Happy2]

Go back in time and delay conception by a few seconds Get those Y chromosome fellas in there I have three boys I think the worry is less, well different anyway

All the best to you

 

[svengali]

Well, I am responsible for bringing two lovely girls into the world and raising them to adulthood probably the best thing I have accomplished in my life.

We are still all friends, I have grandchildren with more to come (apparently) and their respective (and respectful) husbands do all the worrying about their futures.

Rankin, don't sweat it and have a little faith in your girls. If you did your bit and brought them up decently they should now be properly equipped to deal with whatever life throws at them. You can be in the background of their lives as a solid backstop if everything falls in a heap but their futures are now in their hands.

Here are Kahlil Gibran's thoughts on children:

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

 

[homer]

Let nature takes its course, you've done what you can. Only be there as a consultative assistant.

That is why Bart and Lisa will never grow up, after 25 seasons, they are still in primary school.

 

[Starbuck Adama]

AAAHHHHH, letting go of the child and realising they are now adults. Time for them to take what they have learnt from their parents and decide what type of people they would like to be. They WILL make mistakes but that is the only way they will learn.
The fact you are worrying about them says more about the type of decent father you obviously have been. Possibly before but even moreso when they have children themselves, they will appreciate all you have done...including the worry.
WORRY= concern and care....who wouldn't love for someone to have that for them.

 

[Rochelle]

There is only so much you can do as a parent. You can equip your kids with a good education, great morals, respect, dignity, responsible behaviour.......you name it but at the end of the day they (the kids) will decide what to do with it. Parents might not like it and might worry but we have all done it to our parents as well.
Plus turning out well and living a good live is very subjective. Example.......I think I turned out not too bad and enjoy my life.......but hello if my parents would know........they would most likely blame themselves and ask what they have done wrong to deserve a daughter like me........and how miserable my life has to be........all about perception.

 

[Tania Admin]

My daughter is still quite young. I often wonder where my journey with her will take me. I am proud that she is beautiful, strong willed and intelligent and hope I am raising her well enough to always know this and to make good decisions.

 

[Rochelle]

My daughter is still quite young. I often wonder where my journey with her will take me. I am proud that she is beautiful, strong willed and intelligent and hope I am raising her well enough to always know this and to make good decisions.

I am sure you are doing everything in your power to give her the best start ever. She is lucky to have you as a mum.
But I think we do underestimate the outside influences.......let's say what friends they choose, what school they go to, what teachers they have.
I have always been amazed about the 'pink revolution'.........how come that all little girls seem to love everything pink even when their parents at home don't support the habit of gender colour definition.........again......all about peer group and peer pressure........the outside influence.

 

[Tania Admin]

I am sure you are doing everything in your power to give her the best start ever. She is lucky to have you as a mum.
But I think we do underestimate the outside influences.......let's say what friends they choose, what school they go to, what teachers they have.
I have always been amazed about the 'pink revolution'.........how come that all little girls seem to love everything pink even when their parents at home don't support the habit of gender colour definition.........again......all about peer group and peer pressure........the outside influence.

The great thing about being slow poke country folk, is it's easier for parents to know what their kids are up to (lots of nosey but kind hearted people)..also I'm more than a little particular on where any of my children spend time..Over protective? Hmm maybe. Prevention is better than cure.

 

[Tania Admin]

And thanks Rochelle, I think I'm doing a mighty fine effort with raising her right

 

[Happy2]

Just make sure the legrope is long enough for them to think they are making their own decisions Even though you still have the power to pull them back even if it is just a real gentle reminder of a tug on the legrope

 

[Tania Admin]

Just make sure the legrope is long enough for them to think they are making their own decisions Even though you still have the power to pull them back even if it is just a real gentle reminder of a tug on the legrope

Shit! Does that mean I take the iron shackles off?!

 

[Happy2]

Nah just put a silk lining in them She is a princess after all

 

[Tania Admin]

Phew feeling relieved...I put a cactus padding between the chains to soften it.

No seriously, I protect her and my boys but don't hide the real world either. No point wearing rose coloured glasses when the world is a rainbow.