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NOT my own work... I 'stole' this and placed it here for your 'Information'.... Please enjoy.
Clitoral massage
This is a wonderful skill for a man to have when making love to your female partner, or when he wishes to provide the greatest pleasure to his woman during sex. While most couples' foreplay involves a little playing with the vulva and clitoris before sexual intercourse, few couples consider making it their main sexual activity during a session of lovemaking. If you want a change, or you'd like to impress your lover, why not try something different? Make her the main focus by giving her a vulval/clitoral massage.
Couples with physical limitations can enjoy clitoral massage, as can pregnant women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure and orgasm but cannot manage vaginal intercourse. Those who are limited by their disability and unable to enjoy intercourse fully can get great satisfaction from clitoral massage, as can men with erectile dysfunction who wish to give their female lover an orgasm. The same is true of men with delayed ejaculation, who may not be able to take sex to completion (normal ejaculation in the vagina), and it's also a great way for those young men and women who may not wish to have full intercourse to engage in pleasurable physical activity.
Locating Her Clitoris
Before you start you obviously need to know where to find your partner's clitoris! You also need to know what it looks like and how she likes it to be handled. So if you're not familiar with this, you need to do some discovery work, with her co-operation, with the lights very definitely on! This is no time for sexual shyness! That's the only way you can find out all you need to know.
Have her undress, with enough garments on to keep her warm, and lie on a bed where you have easy access to her clitoris and vulva. If she's on a chair, you could kneel in front of her, or if she's on the bed you could kneel at the side as she lies there with her legs up at the knees. In any event, choose a position in which you are both comfortable. Make sure that you can see her clitoral area - you may need to find a suitable light which will illuminate her genitals. If she is interested in the process too, have a mirror located in a suitable place so that she can join in the fun!
Begin by taking a good look at the area as it is at rest. Don't be rough, be gentle. Don't poke your fingers into her labia; tease them apart gently, and use a little lubrication, perhaps a little saliva. It will be uncomfortable for her if you treat her genitals roughly and try to explore them when they are dry.
Start by looking at her vulva with her outer labia unaroused. Be gentle as you examine everything, using your fingers to caress - check out the softness of her labia and the texture and color of her hair. Use your cupped hand to press gently on her vulva and feel its warmth - if she is extremely hairy, ask her if a trim is in order, so that you can enjoy looking at her delightful vulva more clearly.... OR...if you/she prefer then consider a complete shave... If She agrees don't hesitate...give her a good lathering and slowly shave away all that 'fuzz' and wonder at the beauty that is revealed as you bring her womanhood out from behind its protective forest.
Next part the outer labia using your fingers, and have a good look at the inner labia and the vaginal opening. You should be able to see her inner labia, her unaroused clitoris, her urinary opening and the opening to her vagina. She may want to look at this herself using a mirror - or she may be content to help you by parting her labia with her hands so you can see what lies within.
If you really do not know where her clitoris is, see if she can guide you to it! Since the general plan of our genitals is the same, but the detail can be very different, in both men and women, it may be easiest to ask her for guidance. For example, the size and shape of the inner labia vary hugely, and they may even be absent in some women. A large clitoris should present you with no problems in finding it, but the majority of clitorises are actually quite small when they are not aroused, and her clit may be hidden by tissue or the folds of her labia so that she may only be able to guide you to it by the sense of her own touch. If neither of you know where it is, see a website with lots of pictures of the vulva to guide you.
Once you have located her clitoris, find the clitoral shaft (also known as the body of her clitoris), he clitoral glans, and the clitoral hood or prepuce. In some women, the clitoral hood will not retract and the smooth surface of the glans will not be seen; in such cases, you may still be able to feel it under the hood, and to feel the shaft of her clitoris under her skin. But again, to illustrate the variability of sexual anatomy, there are very thin clitoral shafts which can be hard to feel. If your lover has a clitoris like this, then you may only be able to feel the shaft when her clitoris is erect. Your fingertips are the best and most sensitive part of your body for exploring this area - though your lips may give her more pleasant sensations! As with all clitoral play, you need to be extremely respectful of her sensitivity.
Watch how your partner plays with her clitoris
The best way to learn what she likes in the way of stimulation to her clitoris is to watch how she herself plays with it. Ask her to masturbate to orgasm. (If she's not willing, or is unable to masturbate to orgasm, her sexuality and your ability to communicate about sexual issues may need some working on; if a woman is not yet able to have an orgasm, she can get advice about how to develop her ability to reach orgasm or increase her orgasmic capacity here.) She needs to masturbate slowly at first, showing you different strokes, how much pressure she uses, and the rate and frequency of her movements. In this way, you will gain an understanding about what it is she likes and what gives her the most pleasure - with practice (always highly enjoyable!) and repeated sessions where you masturbate together, you will gain the skills which will give her the greatest pleasure.
If your partner actually masturbates to orgasm before you start the clitoral massage, you will both feel more in the mood and get her ready for more sexual stimulation. If her clitoris is very sensitive after orgasm, you may need to avoid direct contact with her clitoris and use lots of lubrication - her own natural vaginal lubrication may not be sufficient for the purpose. You may also find it helpful to massage other parts of her body such as her belly before you start your genital massage. If she does not want to try for another orgasm (and one orgasm may be enough for her - not all women like or want multiple orgasms!) take it slowly and just try to give her pleasant sexual stimulation.
If you are a woman and you happen to be reading this, remember that an open sexual relationship where you give yourself sexual pleasure in front of your partner ids quite normal. Many couples share this pleasure. Masturbation is not just something for you to try on your own - on the contrary - your partner will be very aroused and enjoy seeing you reach orgasm through masturbation. Most people masturbate, so there is no reason to hide it away! It's a perfectly normal and pleasurable part of being a sexual human being.
Clitoral Sensitivity, and Plenty of Lubrication
When you have found her clitoris, you need to be aware of her potential clitoral sensitivity and her need for lubrication to make this into a pleasant experience. Clitoral sensitivity does indeed vary a lot from woman to woman - she may find it painful if her clitoral glans is touched directly, at least before she is sexually aroused. Other women seem to have a lack of clitoral sensitivity, perhaps because they have not been fully awakened to the sexual sensitivity of this part of their body yet.
The best course of action is always to start with a light touch and add more pressure as your partner becomes more aroused. You will get some indication of this from the way she moves her body and the signs of pleasure she shows: but one thing is clear - you will almost never be right if you apply firm or tight pressure to her clitoris, at least not before she is very near orgasm! Feeling ticklish may mean that you are using too light a touch, or that she is nervous and not relaxed. Deep breathing can certainly help to relax her.
According to the sensitivity of your partner's individual clitoris and how much natural vaginal lubrication reaches the area, you will almost certainly need to apply additional lubrication before massaging her clitoris - saliva is good, but a better solution is to use a generous amount of high quality y lubrication like massage oil or Astroglide. You will probably never need (nor will she wish you) to touch the glans of her clitoris without lubrication. The best way to stimulate her glans - if she wishes it - is to use your lips and tongue.
You may also like to play with latex or vinyl gloves which can help increase slipperiness and make a smooth finger for vaginal penetration - though of course you lose some level of intimacy - on other hand you may find that latex gloves add a new dimension to your sex play.
It's good practice to keep in physical contact with your partner when you massage her - taking both hands off and placing them back can produce a shock. You may also become aware of the sexual energy flowing between your hands and your partner. Before you start, make sure everything is within your reach and start by sliding your hand up to her inner thigh, before approaching her vulva since you want to accustom her to the sensations. Warm both your hands and the lubricant in a bowl of warm water before you bring them near her vulva.
Basic Clitoral Massage Techniques
Use one, two, or three fingers to massage your partner's clitoris. It depends how big it is! If you can feel her clitoral shaft easily with your fingers, your thumb and index finger together will be ideal for massage. If her clitoris is very prominent, you can use your thumb, index finger, and another finger. If the shaft and glans of her clitoris are small or hidden, just the tip of your index finger - maybe your thumb - will be sufficient.
If you use two or three fingers, gently grasp the clitoral shaft between your thumb and index finger. Roll the loose tissue in the area around her clitoris back and forth, so you get a clear idea of the shape and firmness of her clitoris. An exploration like this will rapidly establish what you are working with, and how deeply you need to go, and what level of pressure you can safely apply. Ask her to tell you what feels good and what does not feel good! Try to avoid the glans at first, although if your partner's clitoris is small you probably won't be able to avoid stimulating it. Moving your fingers back and forth like this will make the clitoral hood move as well, and this will stimulate her glans. If you move slowly, and watch your partner for possible signs of enjoyment or discomfort, you should be able to get it right. You can always ask her what she would prefer! If she does not know, keep communicating and try various movements.
If her clitoris is so small that you cannot feel it, put the tip of your index finger on the body or hood of her clitoris and gently play with the tissue by rolling it around in small circles, or back and forth. You may detect the underlying structures of her clitoris, and, when she is aroused and her clitoris is erect, you may well find this easier than you think, even if her clitoris is very small and hidden when it is not erect.
As the massage proceeds, carry on stroking her clitoris for as long as she continues to enjoy what you are doing! When you are giving her pleasure, juts continue your stimulation with a steady rhythm. You can slowly and gradually increase the amount of pressure on her clitoris when she becomes more aroused, but the key is always to be gentle and go from slow to fast, not the other way round. You may well need to speed up as she gets near orgasm. You can move the loose skin which is positioned over the shaft and body of her clitoris back and forth over the shaft. If this movement works for her, you can continue to orgasm. Like the glans of the penis, her glans is likely to be very sensitive after orgasm, so slow down or stop, or at least use a lighter touch once she has reached orgasm. Slow down gradually - don't go from a full massage to a complete stop abruptly, for this can be disruptive (just like putting your hands on her and then abruptly removing them).
As soon as she has an orgasm switch to a very very light stroke, as her clitoris is likely to be very sensitive, or move your fingers to her labia. After a couple minutes you can begin again or stop. Never stop the massage abruptly unless she reports she is too sensitive to touch, in which case caress her vulva or inner labia for few minutes. Maintain physical contact as she comes down from her orgasm.
Pleasure But Perhaps No Orgasm
She may reach orgasm quickly and easily, but sometimes it will be elusive. Practice and time will increase the chances of her reaching orgasm, but the female orgasm is very different to the male orgasm - both in duration and how easily it is achieved - so do not expect it to happen every time. Massage sessions of about 20 minutes will help you both stay relaxed and help her to feel good, as well as avoiding any irritation to her clitoris. If she does not reach orgasm in about 20 minutes, it's possible to go for massaging for longer, but don't let it become a chore. If either you or her become frustrated it will ruin the experience. If she becomes very aroused but can't quite get to orgasm, try something you already know will take her there. If she is happy to masturbate to orgasm (with or without you present) or even just to cuddle, that is a good way to end the session.
You partner may wish to enjoy a sexual fantasy as you massage her. She will find this easier if she closes her eyes and enjoys whatever fantasy she uses when she masturbates.
Depending on how delicate a touch she requires, you may want to stimulate her clitoris glans either directly or indirectly through its hood. If her clitoral hood covers her glans, and cannot be retracted, you will still be able to play with her glans by pressing, rolling and touching her hood between your thumb and index finger. Other women find their glans is partially exposed all the time. If so, try applying the tip of your finger to the glans surface, gently moving across the surface, using a very light touch and lots of good quality lubrication. If the clitoral hood does not cover her glans, you can always massage the clitoral body by playing with the loose tissue which covers it. If this does not give enough stimulation to the glans try some more direct stimulation - either on the glans or at the opening of the clitoral hood so that you can massage almost directly onto her clitoral glans. This may provide greater stimulation.
Vaginal Massage and Anal Massage
You can offer vaginal massage at the same time as clitoral massage. Use one hand to stimulate the tissues of her clitoris, and the other to stimulate inside her vagina. You can put one finger into her vagina, and press on her G-spot or urethral sponge. To get the finger movement right, hook up your finger and make it the same shape as you would if you were beckoning someone. This particular massage technique can produce very strong orgasms and significant fluid ejaculation. Try and explore the areas of the vagina that are sensitive to this kind of stimulation or just allow her to enjoy the sensation of her vagina being filled or that of your finger moving very slowly. Stroke the vaginal walls - you may also wish to thrust your fingers if she likes that sensation. If she wishes, uses two fingers to massage her vaginal walls. And if she likes to feel full, use dildos of different sizes and shapes to provide stimulation. Fisting can produce a very strong sexual response from her, though it may take some time and trust for her to be able to accept your whole hand. A woman's vagina has to open up - it's not just a matter of pushing or forcing your fist in.
You can also incorporate anal massage. Starting at the outside of the anus and moving inwards, gently pressing at the anus if the woman wishes this degree of intimacy, this can be a complement to clitoral and vaginal massage or a completely separate pleasure. It will require some reading for you to get this right if you have never done it before, we suggest you look at recommend the information on the link above. Start outside the anus without penetration, and after several minutes, try inserting the tip of one finger, to see how she responds. If her anus relaxes it may be possible for you to insert your finger, but remember that this may be more painful than you think and lube is needed to assist penetration. Keep the finger clear of the vagina afterwards. If her anus relaxes, it may be desirable for her if you use a butt plug or a dildo with a flared base.
Basic Massage Tips
You can start off a clitoral massage with a full body massage. Perhaps spend an hour warming up to the clitoral massage so that you stimulate the body and both of you relax. A light and smooth touch with the palm of your hand, molding your fingers to to the shape of the body is the best way to apply massage. It's better not to squeeze, so when you locate muscular tightness, use a light pressure in a circular or back and forth motion. Although in a full body massage it's a good idea to dissipate tightness, in an erotic massage or clitoral massage, don't spend much time trying to do this.
For a general massage, start on the back of the body, at the feet, and work upwards before having the recipient roll over onto her front, without breaking the physical contact. Keep breasts and genitals until the very end of the massage - so, after the head and face, work down to her vulva, giving her breasts and nipples some attention on the way. Then start the clitoral massage as described above.
Make sure the room is warm and music is playing if she wants that. Falling asleep means she is tired and perhaps sexual activity is not appropriate. A regular massage is fairly erotic if done correctly, and a massage table is very useful to help in this process. They also provide easy access to the "massagee".
These are basic guidelines to help you start clitoral massage. The intention behind clitoral massage is to make your partner's clitoris the center of attention - it's her primary sexual organ (well, maybe - don't forget her mind!) so she will most probably find this conducive to sexual pleasure and orgasm. When seeking great sexual pleasure, recall that women's emotions and psychology varies greatly, so you have to find your own way there. Some women respond very favorably to this massage method in a few minutes, but practice makes perfect.
For those whose clitoris is over-sensitive or completely insensitive, which is normal, by the way, vaginal and/or anal massage may be more suitable. You'll find more sex positions and techniques here than you'll ever be able to try! Quite simply, there's no better site on the internet if you're looking for new ideas to increase your sexual pleasure: sex positions
Clitoral massage
This is a wonderful skill for a man to have when making love to your female partner, or when he wishes to provide the greatest pleasure to his woman during sex. While most couples' foreplay involves a little playing with the vulva and clitoris before sexual intercourse, few couples consider making it their main sexual activity during a session of lovemaking. If you want a change, or you'd like to impress your lover, why not try something different? Make her the main focus by giving her a vulval/clitoral massage.
Couples with physical limitations can enjoy clitoral massage, as can pregnant women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure and orgasm but cannot manage vaginal intercourse. Those who are limited by their disability and unable to enjoy intercourse fully can get great satisfaction from clitoral massage, as can men with erectile dysfunction who wish to give their female lover an orgasm. The same is true of men with delayed ejaculation, who may not be able to take sex to completion (normal ejaculation in the vagina), and it's also a great way for those young men and women who may not wish to have full intercourse to engage in pleasurable physical activity.
Locating Her Clitoris
Before you start you obviously need to know where to find your partner's clitoris! You also need to know what it looks like and how she likes it to be handled. So if you're not familiar with this, you need to do some discovery work, with her co-operation, with the lights very definitely on! This is no time for sexual shyness! That's the only way you can find out all you need to know.
Have her undress, with enough garments on to keep her warm, and lie on a bed where you have easy access to her clitoris and vulva. If she's on a chair, you could kneel in front of her, or if she's on the bed you could kneel at the side as she lies there with her legs up at the knees. In any event, choose a position in which you are both comfortable. Make sure that you can see her clitoral area - you may need to find a suitable light which will illuminate her genitals. If she is interested in the process too, have a mirror located in a suitable place so that she can join in the fun!
Begin by taking a good look at the area as it is at rest. Don't be rough, be gentle. Don't poke your fingers into her labia; tease them apart gently, and use a little lubrication, perhaps a little saliva. It will be uncomfortable for her if you treat her genitals roughly and try to explore them when they are dry.
Start by looking at her vulva with her outer labia unaroused. Be gentle as you examine everything, using your fingers to caress - check out the softness of her labia and the texture and color of her hair. Use your cupped hand to press gently on her vulva and feel its warmth - if she is extremely hairy, ask her if a trim is in order, so that you can enjoy looking at her delightful vulva more clearly.... OR...if you/she prefer then consider a complete shave... If She agrees don't hesitate...give her a good lathering and slowly shave away all that 'fuzz' and wonder at the beauty that is revealed as you bring her womanhood out from behind its protective forest.
Next part the outer labia using your fingers, and have a good look at the inner labia and the vaginal opening. You should be able to see her inner labia, her unaroused clitoris, her urinary opening and the opening to her vagina. She may want to look at this herself using a mirror - or she may be content to help you by parting her labia with her hands so you can see what lies within.
If you really do not know where her clitoris is, see if she can guide you to it! Since the general plan of our genitals is the same, but the detail can be very different, in both men and women, it may be easiest to ask her for guidance. For example, the size and shape of the inner labia vary hugely, and they may even be absent in some women. A large clitoris should present you with no problems in finding it, but the majority of clitorises are actually quite small when they are not aroused, and her clit may be hidden by tissue or the folds of her labia so that she may only be able to guide you to it by the sense of her own touch. If neither of you know where it is, see a website with lots of pictures of the vulva to guide you.
Once you have located her clitoris, find the clitoral shaft (also known as the body of her clitoris), he clitoral glans, and the clitoral hood or prepuce. In some women, the clitoral hood will not retract and the smooth surface of the glans will not be seen; in such cases, you may still be able to feel it under the hood, and to feel the shaft of her clitoris under her skin. But again, to illustrate the variability of sexual anatomy, there are very thin clitoral shafts which can be hard to feel. If your lover has a clitoris like this, then you may only be able to feel the shaft when her clitoris is erect. Your fingertips are the best and most sensitive part of your body for exploring this area - though your lips may give her more pleasant sensations! As with all clitoral play, you need to be extremely respectful of her sensitivity.
Watch how your partner plays with her clitoris
The best way to learn what she likes in the way of stimulation to her clitoris is to watch how she herself plays with it. Ask her to masturbate to orgasm. (If she's not willing, or is unable to masturbate to orgasm, her sexuality and your ability to communicate about sexual issues may need some working on; if a woman is not yet able to have an orgasm, she can get advice about how to develop her ability to reach orgasm or increase her orgasmic capacity here.) She needs to masturbate slowly at first, showing you different strokes, how much pressure she uses, and the rate and frequency of her movements. In this way, you will gain an understanding about what it is she likes and what gives her the most pleasure - with practice (always highly enjoyable!) and repeated sessions where you masturbate together, you will gain the skills which will give her the greatest pleasure.
If your partner actually masturbates to orgasm before you start the clitoral massage, you will both feel more in the mood and get her ready for more sexual stimulation. If her clitoris is very sensitive after orgasm, you may need to avoid direct contact with her clitoris and use lots of lubrication - her own natural vaginal lubrication may not be sufficient for the purpose. You may also find it helpful to massage other parts of her body such as her belly before you start your genital massage. If she does not want to try for another orgasm (and one orgasm may be enough for her - not all women like or want multiple orgasms!) take it slowly and just try to give her pleasant sexual stimulation.
If you are a woman and you happen to be reading this, remember that an open sexual relationship where you give yourself sexual pleasure in front of your partner ids quite normal. Many couples share this pleasure. Masturbation is not just something for you to try on your own - on the contrary - your partner will be very aroused and enjoy seeing you reach orgasm through masturbation. Most people masturbate, so there is no reason to hide it away! It's a perfectly normal and pleasurable part of being a sexual human being.
Clitoral Sensitivity, and Plenty of Lubrication
When you have found her clitoris, you need to be aware of her potential clitoral sensitivity and her need for lubrication to make this into a pleasant experience. Clitoral sensitivity does indeed vary a lot from woman to woman - she may find it painful if her clitoral glans is touched directly, at least before she is sexually aroused. Other women seem to have a lack of clitoral sensitivity, perhaps because they have not been fully awakened to the sexual sensitivity of this part of their body yet.
The best course of action is always to start with a light touch and add more pressure as your partner becomes more aroused. You will get some indication of this from the way she moves her body and the signs of pleasure she shows: but one thing is clear - you will almost never be right if you apply firm or tight pressure to her clitoris, at least not before she is very near orgasm! Feeling ticklish may mean that you are using too light a touch, or that she is nervous and not relaxed. Deep breathing can certainly help to relax her.
According to the sensitivity of your partner's individual clitoris and how much natural vaginal lubrication reaches the area, you will almost certainly need to apply additional lubrication before massaging her clitoris - saliva is good, but a better solution is to use a generous amount of high quality y lubrication like massage oil or Astroglide. You will probably never need (nor will she wish you) to touch the glans of her clitoris without lubrication. The best way to stimulate her glans - if she wishes it - is to use your lips and tongue.
You may also like to play with latex or vinyl gloves which can help increase slipperiness and make a smooth finger for vaginal penetration - though of course you lose some level of intimacy - on other hand you may find that latex gloves add a new dimension to your sex play.
It's good practice to keep in physical contact with your partner when you massage her - taking both hands off and placing them back can produce a shock. You may also become aware of the sexual energy flowing between your hands and your partner. Before you start, make sure everything is within your reach and start by sliding your hand up to her inner thigh, before approaching her vulva since you want to accustom her to the sensations. Warm both your hands and the lubricant in a bowl of warm water before you bring them near her vulva.
Basic Clitoral Massage Techniques
Use one, two, or three fingers to massage your partner's clitoris. It depends how big it is! If you can feel her clitoral shaft easily with your fingers, your thumb and index finger together will be ideal for massage. If her clitoris is very prominent, you can use your thumb, index finger, and another finger. If the shaft and glans of her clitoris are small or hidden, just the tip of your index finger - maybe your thumb - will be sufficient.
If you use two or three fingers, gently grasp the clitoral shaft between your thumb and index finger. Roll the loose tissue in the area around her clitoris back and forth, so you get a clear idea of the shape and firmness of her clitoris. An exploration like this will rapidly establish what you are working with, and how deeply you need to go, and what level of pressure you can safely apply. Ask her to tell you what feels good and what does not feel good! Try to avoid the glans at first, although if your partner's clitoris is small you probably won't be able to avoid stimulating it. Moving your fingers back and forth like this will make the clitoral hood move as well, and this will stimulate her glans. If you move slowly, and watch your partner for possible signs of enjoyment or discomfort, you should be able to get it right. You can always ask her what she would prefer! If she does not know, keep communicating and try various movements.
If her clitoris is so small that you cannot feel it, put the tip of your index finger on the body or hood of her clitoris and gently play with the tissue by rolling it around in small circles, or back and forth. You may detect the underlying structures of her clitoris, and, when she is aroused and her clitoris is erect, you may well find this easier than you think, even if her clitoris is very small and hidden when it is not erect.
As the massage proceeds, carry on stroking her clitoris for as long as she continues to enjoy what you are doing! When you are giving her pleasure, juts continue your stimulation with a steady rhythm. You can slowly and gradually increase the amount of pressure on her clitoris when she becomes more aroused, but the key is always to be gentle and go from slow to fast, not the other way round. You may well need to speed up as she gets near orgasm. You can move the loose skin which is positioned over the shaft and body of her clitoris back and forth over the shaft. If this movement works for her, you can continue to orgasm. Like the glans of the penis, her glans is likely to be very sensitive after orgasm, so slow down or stop, or at least use a lighter touch once she has reached orgasm. Slow down gradually - don't go from a full massage to a complete stop abruptly, for this can be disruptive (just like putting your hands on her and then abruptly removing them).
As soon as she has an orgasm switch to a very very light stroke, as her clitoris is likely to be very sensitive, or move your fingers to her labia. After a couple minutes you can begin again or stop. Never stop the massage abruptly unless she reports she is too sensitive to touch, in which case caress her vulva or inner labia for few minutes. Maintain physical contact as she comes down from her orgasm.
Pleasure But Perhaps No Orgasm
She may reach orgasm quickly and easily, but sometimes it will be elusive. Practice and time will increase the chances of her reaching orgasm, but the female orgasm is very different to the male orgasm - both in duration and how easily it is achieved - so do not expect it to happen every time. Massage sessions of about 20 minutes will help you both stay relaxed and help her to feel good, as well as avoiding any irritation to her clitoris. If she does not reach orgasm in about 20 minutes, it's possible to go for massaging for longer, but don't let it become a chore. If either you or her become frustrated it will ruin the experience. If she becomes very aroused but can't quite get to orgasm, try something you already know will take her there. If she is happy to masturbate to orgasm (with or without you present) or even just to cuddle, that is a good way to end the session.
You partner may wish to enjoy a sexual fantasy as you massage her. She will find this easier if she closes her eyes and enjoys whatever fantasy she uses when she masturbates.
Depending on how delicate a touch she requires, you may want to stimulate her clitoris glans either directly or indirectly through its hood. If her clitoral hood covers her glans, and cannot be retracted, you will still be able to play with her glans by pressing, rolling and touching her hood between your thumb and index finger. Other women find their glans is partially exposed all the time. If so, try applying the tip of your finger to the glans surface, gently moving across the surface, using a very light touch and lots of good quality lubrication. If the clitoral hood does not cover her glans, you can always massage the clitoral body by playing with the loose tissue which covers it. If this does not give enough stimulation to the glans try some more direct stimulation - either on the glans or at the opening of the clitoral hood so that you can massage almost directly onto her clitoral glans. This may provide greater stimulation.
Vaginal Massage and Anal Massage
You can offer vaginal massage at the same time as clitoral massage. Use one hand to stimulate the tissues of her clitoris, and the other to stimulate inside her vagina. You can put one finger into her vagina, and press on her G-spot or urethral sponge. To get the finger movement right, hook up your finger and make it the same shape as you would if you were beckoning someone. This particular massage technique can produce very strong orgasms and significant fluid ejaculation. Try and explore the areas of the vagina that are sensitive to this kind of stimulation or just allow her to enjoy the sensation of her vagina being filled or that of your finger moving very slowly. Stroke the vaginal walls - you may also wish to thrust your fingers if she likes that sensation. If she wishes, uses two fingers to massage her vaginal walls. And if she likes to feel full, use dildos of different sizes and shapes to provide stimulation. Fisting can produce a very strong sexual response from her, though it may take some time and trust for her to be able to accept your whole hand. A woman's vagina has to open up - it's not just a matter of pushing or forcing your fist in.
You can also incorporate anal massage. Starting at the outside of the anus and moving inwards, gently pressing at the anus if the woman wishes this degree of intimacy, this can be a complement to clitoral and vaginal massage or a completely separate pleasure. It will require some reading for you to get this right if you have never done it before, we suggest you look at recommend the information on the link above. Start outside the anus without penetration, and after several minutes, try inserting the tip of one finger, to see how she responds. If her anus relaxes it may be possible for you to insert your finger, but remember that this may be more painful than you think and lube is needed to assist penetration. Keep the finger clear of the vagina afterwards. If her anus relaxes, it may be desirable for her if you use a butt plug or a dildo with a flared base.
Basic Massage Tips
You can start off a clitoral massage with a full body massage. Perhaps spend an hour warming up to the clitoral massage so that you stimulate the body and both of you relax. A light and smooth touch with the palm of your hand, molding your fingers to to the shape of the body is the best way to apply massage. It's better not to squeeze, so when you locate muscular tightness, use a light pressure in a circular or back and forth motion. Although in a full body massage it's a good idea to dissipate tightness, in an erotic massage or clitoral massage, don't spend much time trying to do this.
For a general massage, start on the back of the body, at the feet, and work upwards before having the recipient roll over onto her front, without breaking the physical contact. Keep breasts and genitals until the very end of the massage - so, after the head and face, work down to her vulva, giving her breasts and nipples some attention on the way. Then start the clitoral massage as described above.
Make sure the room is warm and music is playing if she wants that. Falling asleep means she is tired and perhaps sexual activity is not appropriate. A regular massage is fairly erotic if done correctly, and a massage table is very useful to help in this process. They also provide easy access to the "massagee".
These are basic guidelines to help you start clitoral massage. The intention behind clitoral massage is to make your partner's clitoris the center of attention - it's her primary sexual organ (well, maybe - don't forget her mind!) so she will most probably find this conducive to sexual pleasure and orgasm. When seeking great sexual pleasure, recall that women's emotions and psychology varies greatly, so you have to find your own way there. Some women respond very favorably to this massage method in a few minutes, but practice makes perfect.
For those whose clitoris is over-sensitive or completely insensitive, which is normal, by the way, vaginal and/or anal massage may be more suitable. You'll find more sex positions and techniques here than you'll ever be able to try! Quite simply, there's no better site on the internet if you're looking for new ideas to increase your sexual pleasure: sex positions
