S
Saige
Carers with the
healing touch - of
sex
Author: SHARON GRAY
Publication: The Age (Melbourne, Australia - Tue 15 Nov 2005)
There's nothing odd in elderly people wanting sexual intimacy.
IN OUR over-sexualised culture, a glamorous dress is defined by how
much of it is missing - and just try buying fashion trousers that don't
graze the pubis. It's all labeled "freedom of expression", because sex
is good and one should get as much of it as possible - provided, of
course, that "no" is well understood to mean "no". And provided the
participants are young.
There's something pathetic, perverse, about the way we shrivel at the
thought of our parents having sex. As we think sex is so great,
shouldn't we be cheering them along? Instead, it seems younger
people believe that the older the person, the less right they have to
any; that for them to even think about it is perverse. Especially if they
live in residential care. Ooh, yuk! And so we determine to remain slim,
tanned, blonde and sexy forever, and the pharmaceutical, fitness and
cosmetic industries shout hoorah.
As they age, many people lose interest in sex, but not everyone. I
have a friend who works as a lifestyle coordinator in nursing homes.
She's as open-minded as she is kind and passionate about helping
those she cares for."
Every behaviour merely illustrates an unmet need," she told me. "An
elderly person exhibiting sexual behaviour is simply crying out for
touch, or maybe just needs to be listened to. When staff complain that
a resident is touching them inappropriately, I investigate and usually
find they are desperately lonely for intimacy."
I remember one man aged over 90, an eminent professional, whose
rather cold wife rarely visited him. He just loved to gently touch a
breast while he was being fed. So I became the one who fed him and
told him he could touch my clothed breast. It made him so happy and
he never bothered anyone else. He died a few weeks later."
If male patients are fit enough, some homes send them to brothels."
http://www.touchingbase.org
healing touch - of
sex
Author: SHARON GRAY
Publication: The Age (Melbourne, Australia - Tue 15 Nov 2005)
There's nothing odd in elderly people wanting sexual intimacy.
IN OUR over-sexualised culture, a glamorous dress is defined by how
much of it is missing - and just try buying fashion trousers that don't
graze the pubis. It's all labeled "freedom of expression", because sex
is good and one should get as much of it as possible - provided, of
course, that "no" is well understood to mean "no". And provided the
participants are young.
There's something pathetic, perverse, about the way we shrivel at the
thought of our parents having sex. As we think sex is so great,
shouldn't we be cheering them along? Instead, it seems younger
people believe that the older the person, the less right they have to
any; that for them to even think about it is perverse. Especially if they
live in residential care. Ooh, yuk! And so we determine to remain slim,
tanned, blonde and sexy forever, and the pharmaceutical, fitness and
cosmetic industries shout hoorah.
As they age, many people lose interest in sex, but not everyone. I
have a friend who works as a lifestyle coordinator in nursing homes.
She's as open-minded as she is kind and passionate about helping
those she cares for."
Every behaviour merely illustrates an unmet need," she told me. "An
elderly person exhibiting sexual behaviour is simply crying out for
touch, or maybe just needs to be listened to. When staff complain that
a resident is touching them inappropriately, I investigate and usually
find they are desperately lonely for intimacy."
I remember one man aged over 90, an eminent professional, whose
rather cold wife rarely visited him. He just loved to gently touch a
breast while he was being fed. So I became the one who fed him and
told him he could touch my clothed breast. It made him so happy and
he never bothered anyone else. He died a few weeks later."
If male patients are fit enough, some homes send them to brothels."
http://www.touchingbase.org
