BDSM for Depression?

[ProfD]

I posted a reply in the thread about the Difference between Sadness and Depression, where I didn't go into the solution I had found. I thought here might be a good place to do that.

I'd been depressed for years without knowing what it was. It was hard pushing myself to go to work each day.
Life was drab and grey, not even fun activities were fun anymore. Not social events, friends, hobbies etc. Vege-ing out watching TV was the only thing that raised my mood.

My former wife (nurse) told me to go off to the Dr for some pills. I recognised that that would be wallpapering over the cracks, and that my main problem was overload. I just wanted the world to slow down for a rest. One family therapist recognised how deep in was in, and suggested we all needed to slow down and take things a little easier for a while. My then-wife refused to go back as she thought the comment was directed at her. Fortunately, my current partner recognised how deeply and dangerously depressed I was, saving my life when I thought no-one was going to be able to help me when my wife decided not to work with the therapist.

Later I worked out that as a Highly Sensitive Person, I'm very distractable and easily overloaded with too much stimulation and too many problems to prioritise. I identify as ADHD, with a community of people who have helped me find solutions and understanding.

Eventually I found activities which broke through the depression and I felt alive again. It started with reading on-line stories about BDSM, and progressed to TV episodes of "All about Sex - with an episode visit to Salon Kitty's in Sydney really waking me up. All this lead to me attending a local Munch in Adelaide for a BDSM group. An open rope bondage tuition session set the deal for me.

Eventually I visited Kitty's for real, and other places and people to play and life was fun again. Unfortunately my vanilla wife was so horrified and untrusting that she wouldn't be involved, even as an onlooker.

I found the adrenaline rush from scene play, setting up and planing something, being surprised by a play partner and taken to a party as her subbie were all fun. I was so alive, that the difference was obvious to my wife who eventually divorced me.

Isn't it funny that the way we know a man is having an affair is that he appears temporarily happy again.......

Eventually I enrolled in an expressive therapies course and learned about one theory of mind and how depression can develop from not expressing needs. I learned a lot through this work.

I wish I'd known more about ADHD, depression and anxiety and saying "no" to work more. It might have made a difference in my marriage, but then again, the incompatibilities were deep and about many things. In the end my divorce freed my wife and I to find more compatible people.

I found many of the BDSM activities were physically stimulating and the endorphins and adrenaline released were addictive but also raised my general mood. ADHD symptoms of lethargy are often relieved by having these brain chemicals increased, and I later read that in Russia, spanking was a commonly used treatment for depression for years.

My life is now more stable and better managed, and I'm glad that I did explore what I needed to to find my way out of my depression after the therapists either were not helpful or my former wife wasn't.

Have any of you found some kind of sex play therapeutic? Wouldn't it be great if we could get it on Medicare? ;-)

Seriously, I'd be keen to know more about others' experience of sex or BDSM as a way of dealing with life, or fixing problems.

 

[Sir Cruiser]

I posted a reply in the thread about the Difference between Sadness and Depression, where I didn't go into the solution I had found. I thought here might be a good place to do that.

I'd been depressed for years without knowing what it was. It was hard pushing myself to go to work each day.
Life was drab and grey, not even fun activities were fun anymore. Not social events, friends, hobbies etc. Vege-ing out watching TV was the only thing that raised my mood.

My former wife (nurse) told me to go off to the Dr for some pills. I recognised that that would be wallpapering over the cracks, and that my main problem was overload. I just wanted the world to slow down for a rest. One family therapist recognised how deep in was in, and suggested we all needed to slow down and take things a little easier for a while. My then-wife refused to go back as she thought the comment was directed at her. Fortunately, my current partner recognised how deeply and dangerously depressed I was, saving my life when I thought no-one was going to be able to help me when my wife decided not to work with the therapist.

Later I worked out that as a Highly Sensitive Person, I'm very distractable and easily overloaded with too much stimulation and too many problems to prioritise. I identify as ADHD, with a community of people who have helped me find solutions and understanding.

Eventually I found activities which broke through the depression and I felt alive again. It started with reading on-line stories about BDSM, and progressed to TV episodes of "All about Sex - with an episode visit to Salon Kitty's in Sydney really waking me up. All this lead to me attending a local Munch in Adelaide for a BDSM group. An open rope bondage tuition session set the deal for me.

Eventually I visited Kitty's for real, and other places and people to play and life was fun again. Unfortunately my vanilla wife was so horrified and untrusting that she wouldn't be involved, even as an onlooker.

I found the adrenaline rush from scene play, setting up and planing something, being surprised by a play partner and taken to a party as her subbie were all fun. I was so alive, that the difference was obvious to my wife who eventually divorced me.

Isn't it funny that the way we know a man is having an affair is that he appears temporarily happy again.......

Eventually I enrolled in an expressive therapies course and learned about one theory of mind and how depression can develop from not expressing needs. I learned a lot through this work.

I wish I'd known more about ADHD, depression and anxiety and saying "no" to work more. It might have made a difference in my marriage, but then again, the incompatibilities were deep and about many things. In the end my divorce freed my wife and I to find more compatible people.

I found many of the BDSM activities were physically stimulating and the endorphins and adrenaline released were addictive but also raised my general mood. ADHD symptoms of lethargy are often relieved by having these brain chemicals increased, and I later read that in Russia, spanking was a commonly used treatment for depression for years.

My life is now more stable and better managed, and I'm glad that I did explore what I needed to to find my way out of my depression after the therapists either were not helpful or my former wife wasn't.

Have any of you found some kind of sex play therapeutic? Wouldn't it be great if we could get it on Medicare? ;-)

Seriously, I'd be keen to know more about others' experience of sex or BDSM as a way of dealing with life, or fixing problems.

You found a way to deal with depression that works for you, well done. Sometimes it is unfortunately necessary to start anew to get your life back. I will not go into my story here but if you have the time (lol) look up depression threads. Good luck ProfD

 

[dvous2]

Yep i hav to agree a good whippin took my mind away from life s little suprises that are sprung on alot of people, my mind was occupied for weeks manly was how i hide these welts from my missis, lucky for me she laughed when she cn em, we bn together long time an communicate well,an understanding of my probs, but yes for quite a while moments of pure joy were spent either w/l's or r&t s with a lady u could connect with but keeping it therapeutic without breaking al the rules the missis an me agreed on,i truely believe u hav to look out beyond the small circle alot of people live in otherwise that circle does cm to close in ,life short as it is get out enjoy an go whip sum arse or b whipped good luck no harm tryn

 

[Ariel Dilyn]

I was diagnosed with depression before I even left primary school. And was put on anti depressants soon later. The shit making me depressed was ongoing though, so as far as circumstanual mental health crisis, I was right in the middle of my problem so the medication wasn't really helping. I became sexually active very young and through pleasing people found that it helped me feel wanted. Sad, right? But thats just how it started. From there I started experimenting and found that I was a masochist, which was an interesting discovery at 14 years old. I had a partner for 2 and a half years from the age of 14 and a half. I wanted to be his submissive (incredibly fucking glad he wasn't really into it) and when we broke up I found my beautiful Master/Daddy/Sir. The most amazing man i've ever met! He knows me inside and out, physically and mentally

I have scenes with him now, and good god do I feel on top of the world for weeks afterwards. Theres nothing quiet like pleasing your Top. And holy crap, seeing the bruises on my ass for days after is enough to make me drip!
The intimacy and the pain, mixed with the feeling of making some ones fantasies and desires come true? Nothing fills me with a happier feeling! It is for sure my own personal anti depression booster!

 

[ProfD]

I was diagnosed with depression before I even left primary school. And was put on anti depressants soon later. The shit making me depressed was ongoing though, so as far as circumstanual mental health crisis, I was right in the middle of my problem so the medication wasn't really helping. I became sexually active very young and through pleasing people found that it helped me feel wanted. Sad, right? But thats just how it started. From there I started experimenting and found that I was a masochist, which was an interesting discovery at 14 years old. I had a partner for 2 and a half years from the age of 14 and a half. I wanted to be his submissive (incredibly f**king glad he wasn't really into it) and when we broke up I found my beautiful Master/Daddy/Sir. The most amazing man i've ever met! He knows me inside and out, physically and mentally

I have scenes with him now, and good god do I feel on top of the world for weeks afterwards. Theres nothing quiet like pleasing your Top. And holy crap, seeing the bruises on my ass for days after is enough to make me drip!
The intimacy and the pain, mixed with the feeling of making some ones fantasies and desires come true? Nothing fills me with a happier feeling! It is for sure my own personal anti depression booster!

Ariel, what a beautiful story - glad it worked out that way. Yes, I also have had to carry bruises and be circumspect in public showers etc. My mistress made me wear a body harness (rope) when we were practicing Shibari-do, and I had to work out if I wanted a hug from a female friend we had dinner with or not. (She would have felt the rope under my clothes and wondered about us) I should have done it for fun, but declined.

People pleasing was a feature of growing up Catholic - I stil have trouble asserting myself sometimes.

Interesting that you started young. My first thought of subbie sexual delight that I can remember was in grade 1 (5 yo) and the young, pretty teacher threatened our class that if we misbehaved, she'd bring us up the front, pull down our pants and cane us in front of everyone. While a compliant boy, a naughty part of me wondered with a thrill what that would fee like - and how naughty would I have to be to be punished like that. Strange how early our proclivities develop.

 

[Ginger Spice]

I posted a reply in the thread about the Difference between Sadness and Depression, where I didn't go into the solution I had found. I thought here might be a good place to do that.

I'd been depressed for years without knowing what it was. It was hard pushing myself to go to work each day.
Life was drab and grey, not even fun activities were fun anymore. Not social events, friends, hobbies etc. Vege-ing out watching TV was the only thing that raised my mood.

My former wife (nurse) told me to go off to the Dr for some pills. I recognised that that would be wallpapering over the cracks, and that my main problem was overload. I just wanted the world to slow down for a rest. One family therapist recognised how deep in was in, and suggested we all needed to slow down and take things a little easier for a while. My then-wife refused to go back as she thought the comment was directed at her. Fortunately, my current partner recognised how deeply and dangerously depressed I was, saving my life when I thought no-one was going to be able to help me when my wife decided not to work with the therapist.

Later I worked out that as a Highly Sensitive Person, I'm very distractable and easily overloaded with too much stimulation and too many problems to prioritise. I identify as ADHD, with a community of people who have helped me find solutions and understanding.

Eventually I found activities which broke through the depression and I felt alive again. It started with reading on-line stories about BDSM, and progressed to TV episodes of "All about Sex - with an episode visit to Salon Kitty's in Sydney really waking me up. All this lead to me attending a local Munch in Adelaide for a BDSM group. An open rope bondage tuition session set the deal for me.

Eventually I visited Kitty's for real, and other places and people to play and life was fun again. Unfortunately my vanilla wife was so horrified and untrusting that she wouldn't be involved, even as an onlooker.

I found the adrenaline rush from scene play, setting up and planing something, being surprised by a play partner and taken to a party as her subbie were all fun. I was so alive, that the difference was obvious to my wife who eventually divorced me.

Isn't it funny that the way we know a man is having an affair is that he appears temporarily happy again.......

Eventually I enrolled in an expressive therapies course and learned about one theory of mind and how depression can develop from not expressing needs. I learned a lot through this work.

I wish I'd known more about ADHD, depression and anxiety and saying "no" to work more. It might have made a difference in my marriage, but then again, the incompatibilities were deep and about many things. In the end my divorce freed my wife and I to find more compatible people.

I found many of the BDSM activities were physically stimulating and the endorphins and adrenaline released were addictive but also raised my general mood. ADHD symptoms of lethargy are often relieved by having these brain chemicals increased, and I later read that in Russia, spanking was a commonly used treatment for depression for years.

My life is now more stable and better managed, and I'm glad that I did explore what I needed to to find my way out of my depression after the therapists either were not helpful or my former wife wasn't.

Have any of you found some kind of sex play therapeutic? Wouldn't it be great if we could get it on Medicare? ;-)

Seriously, I'd be keen to know more about others' experience of sex or BDSM as a way of dealing with life, or fixing problems.

Becore I started in this industry I was a submissive for just under a year. It sure was great to kneel in front of a man and for once not worry about what is going on in my life, what could happen in it or anything relating to me at all. In our 2-3 hour sessions I escaped my own mind and just thought about him. What he asked of me, what he wanted me to do. I was his. No if, buts, maybes or grey areas. I gave my whole body, mind and soul to him and it truley was a beautiful thing.

Until one session my body went into shock from him not giving his submissive appropriate aftercare. It took him 10 minutes to realise I was in shock and it was a terrifying experience. I still stayed with him right up until I found out he had been seeing my friend for coffee behind my back asking her if she would be happy to have play sessions without her telling me. Not even a month after a touching collaring ceremony in front of close kink friends.

Anyway!! I believe it made my deppression worse. Well, I know it did as my medication going upwards showed.

Fast forward 2 years. I found another regular play partner but instead of being a full submissive, I was a brat. Before we realised I am better suited as a dominant.

It took some getting used to but I have been a dominant for well over 2 years now and can't imagine not having a play session (whether it be with a regular slave or a client) for less then a month! I am confident with my position, I love the feeling of power I have and the trust a submissive has. I care for all my submissives, whether it be a regular thing or just for a one off session. As I know how important aftercare ( and during a session care) is!

Anyway. Point of the story. Completely medication free now! That has to say something...

 

[ProfD]

Becore I started in this industry I was a submissive for just under a year. It sure was great to kneel in front of a man and for once not worry about what is going on in my life, what could happen in it or anything relating to me at all. In our 2-3 hour sessions I escaped my own mind and just thought about him. What he asked of me, what he wanted me to do. I was his. No if, buts, maybes or grey areas. I gave my whole body, mind and soul to him and it truley was a beautiful thing.

Until one session my body went into shock from him not giving his submissive appropriate aftercare. It took him 10 minutes to realise I was in shock and it was a terrifying experience. I still stayed with him right up until I found out he had been seeing my friend for coffee behind my back asking her if she would be happy to have play sessions without her telling me. Not even a month after a touching collaring ceremony in front of close kink friends.

Anyway!! I believe it made my deppression worse. Well, I know it did as my medication going upwards showed.

Fast forward 2 years. I found another regular play partner but instead of being a full submissive, I was a brat. Before we realised I am better suited as a dominant.

It took some getting used to but I have been a dominant for well over 2 years now and can't imagine not having a play session (whether it be with a regular slave or a client) for less then a month! I am confident with my position, I love the feeling of power I have and the trust a submissive has. I care for all my submissives, whether it be a regular thing or just for a one off session. As I know how important aftercare ( and during a session care) is!

Anyway. Point of the story. Completely medication free now! That has to say something...

Thankyou Ginger Spice (or should that be Madam GS?) for that very personal story. BDSM 'play' has many powerful aspects - mind changing as much and more than many therapies, and yet there is little I've seen anywhere about effective aftercare or mental first aid.

I am extremely fortunate that my partner is very compassionate and knowledgable about these topics.

Betrayal when vulnerable in a power exchange relationship can be more damaging I expect than when not. Submission is about de-armouring after all. I'm glad good things came out of it for you.

I wonder if there's been any formal research on the interaction of BDSM and psychiatric drug therapy? Can you imagine what response the application to the ethics committee for experimentation would have? ;-)

Now I've got to get onto Medline and see!