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Attraction!

J

Jazzmine

Here goes...

I seem to be attracted to jerks, men who start out more than brilliant but end up being far from what they portrayed themselves to be! Find a nice bloke, then BAMM two weeks later he's an axe wielding maniac (k maybe not that bad, but you get the picture)..

So my question is... Why are so many females attracted to the 'bad guys' rather than the gorgeous caring men?! Is there some kind of scientific reason? Or some kind of explanation?
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Master Yoda

Master Yoda

“Your path you must decide.”
Legend Member
Points
56
Hahahahahahaha

Entire book shelves has been written on this. And yes I believe it to be a hard wired evolutionary and biochemical response.

Us dumb horny guys will never understand it fully.

It's one of the greatest topics in the modern world.

Pm me if u want and I'll see u a link to a book that explains better than I ever can :)
 
K

karina

Try to look at the positive side of it.
At least you find out when they are jerks. better that than you continuing in a dead beat relationship, being completly oblivous that you deserve and can do so much better. So you might have to kiss a few frogs before you find you'r prince charming. But some times that can be half the fun!! :nike:
 
T

Tania Admin

That used to be the case for me, but now I've have found a good bad boy, or is it a bad good boy,,,ummm, either way I've never been happier. Your turn will come Jazz.
 
svengali

svengali

Foundation Member
Points
3
Yep, a head-scratcher for sure.

How often do the "nice guys" get left on the sidelines while the roughneck mouthy yobbos take off with the pick of the girls?

Part of it is that "nice guys" often come across as timid while the pushy yobbos at least step up to the plate and swing the bat and we all know that if you don't ask for it you ain't gonna get it.
 
asianguy77

asianguy77

Diamond Member
Points
4
I think it's a mix of different factors:

1. The lure of perceived excitement of a challenge in taming a 'bad boy' and living on the édge'to break up the monotomy of the day
2. The primal instincts of the 'bad boy'taking charge, harking back to the days of the caveman, where he clubbed the woman over the head and bought her back to his cave, willing or not. The girl wants the guys to make the decisions.

It could be myriad of reasons, and really a guy trying to work it out, when girls themselves can't understand it will mean it will continue to remain unsolved, as one of lifes great mysteries.

What is a definition of a 'good guy'? One who joins greenpeace and saves endangered animals and starving people in the world. Those, who obey the laws of society, or is it basically really comes down to a guy that doesn't cheat?

Well if it's a guy that doesnt cheat, a good guy will eventually turn bad anyway lol in some cases ;).
 
SubNymphet

SubNymphet

Tantalizing Temptress
Gold Member
Points
0
No such thing as a good guy!!! I married one, catholic primary school teacher, well educated, etc. he turned out to be a lying cheating scumbag. oh dont get me wrong, everyone was amazed at how such a nice guy could do that, i must have done something wrong to make him act like that.... etc etc... yeah. fuck nice guys. actually you know what, fuck all guys, many times over ;) lol

Ive decided that theres no such thing as the so call nice guy, or bad boy. All guys are capable of both. The good guys seem to turn bad, and the bad guys end up being the great catches. So, i no longer judge a guy by the initial meeting. If a guy has the balls to hold a conversation with me and not feel that said conversation = him having a right to fuck me, then im willing to give him a go.
Shy guys bore me, dickheads annoy me. Somewhere in the middle thanks :)
 
Haste69

Haste69

Gold Member
Points
0
Welll! Believe it or not guys have the same problem!
None of us want to take the time to really find out what the other person is like. We look at the outside attraction - like WOW! and forget that the inside attaction is what lasts - and this comes back to the multi-faceted notion of compatability.
Everyone wants sex fairly early in a relationship - 1 minute to 1 month(LOL) because our society today puts so much emphasis on getting it when "I" want it!

Second point to go from 1/6 to 2 bob is no one cares for their partner enough!

Best wishes & good luck
 
L

Lilly Sweetheart

I have been with my husband for 10 years and am a firm believer that opposites do attract, but like every relationship we do have to work at it!
I find alot of my escorting friends have found love by establishing a connection first and then after the 5th date drop the bombshell on them that they are a sex worker. It is to rule out any losers out there that just want to f*ck a wl free of charge.

Chin up luv and hang in there because I have met some very lovely gentleman that don't see me just being a sex worker.

Lil x
 
H

Heavenly Hollie

Running around after bad boys was a habit I gave up in my late teens, but I used to be enthralled by their confidence and the excitement of living life on the edge. Now I much prefer a level headed gent with a calm disposition and good prospects. One you can take home to your mum! Good does not mean boring and opposites do attract, so I need a good boy to balance with me, being an extremely bad girl! But some of my best friends are still that way inclined and go from bad boy to bad boy, usually in a flurry of drama and even violence. Sometimes I look at them in dispair. Ok so they only have one man in their life but he does nothing positive for them, and only drags them down to his level.

Most of us have been there at some point. There is a certain danger element which is undeniably attractive. But when it comes to a relationship does any girl really want danger and uncertainty long term? I need and feel I deserve stability and dependability. I think at the very core of it it's a question of self esteem. And it's so not true that there are no good men out there, the world has many wonderful men in it! don't let the wasters and cheats put you off for life!!! x
 
T

Tania Admin

SubNymphet said:
No such thing as a good guy!!! I married one, catholic primary school teacher, well educated, etc. he turned out to be a lying cheating scumbag. oh dont get me wrong, everyone was amazed at how such a nice guy could do that, i must have done something wrong to make him act like that.... etc etc... yeah. fuck nice guys. actually you know what, fuck all guys, many times over ;) lol

Ive decided that theres no such thing as the so call nice guy, or bad boy. All guys are capable of both. The good guys seem to turn bad, and the bad guys end up being the great catches. So, i no longer judge a guy by the initial meeting. If a guy has the balls to hold a conversation with me and not feel that said conversation = him having a right to fuck me, then im willing to give him a go.
Shy guys bore me, dickheads annoy me. Somewhere in the middle thanks :)
Click to expand...

Ouch! You sound like a lady who has had a very bad experience. I must say my past relationships have never gone well, and there was a lot of anger and bitterness held onto for a long time. It was when I let this all go that I found the love of my life.
Not all men are bad, my fiancee is a pure sweetheart. And never over look the shy guy, they are sometimes just a big personality waiting for the right lady to release that, the old saying "Never judge a book by it's cover" definitely rings true.
 
N

Naughty Thoughts

...but like every relationship we do have to work at it!
Click to expand...

Totally agree with that. I see a lot of people who fall into the "everything should be easy" mentality, or who believe too much in the "happily ever after" mythos that fairytales and Hollywood sell. A relationship needs to be worked on every day, like a garden. Neglect just allows it to fill up with weeds...
 
C

Contrarian

Just an addendum as I see so many people say things like "relationships need to be worked on everyday". I agree but only up to a point - it shouldn't be hard or too hard work. If it is, it's time to take stock.
 
Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
22
Contrarian said:
Just an addendum as I see so many people say things like "relationships need to be worked on everyday". I agree but only up to a point - it shouldn't be hard or too hard work. If it is, it's time to take stock.
Click to expand...

Not trying to put words into other peoples mouths but I believe they are just trying to say dont take the relationship for granted
 
J

JasRob

I was and have been a bad boy for my early teens and twenties...had played around and was a total jerk/asshole...but when i found the one who captured my heart...all those bad things have changed..totally changed...i think when we've found the one who truly loves us and we also love back all the bad behaviour totally changed...and I was happy for that...and still thankful that after the bad person I am before somebody is still there to love me wholeheartedly....maybe its not your time yet...someday you'll find that someone who appreciates all your efforts and love you with all his heart and willing to change for the better....good luck...:)
 
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