Are lust and love compatible?

[Buk]

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam complacently stroking his madam. He was filled with mirth for he knew on earth there were only two balls and he had'em. My questions: do you think Adam loved his madam or do you think he was ruled by lust? And are lust and love for one's partner compatible or should LOVE be the ruling factor? I mean, hopefully love is there from the very beginning and I assume it's lust that fades with time?? Enlighten me, please.

 

[Kylie Middleton]

I think that each can exist separately, but that to keep a relationship strong for the long term, you need to have at least an element of lust as well as love. I've been with my partner for almost three years and we've always had a really strong emotional and intellectual connection. Our physical connection is something we've had to work a bit harder to maintain but as we become a stronger unit I definitely feel safer giving more of myself physically and our sex life is continuing to get better and better. I think that without at least being physically attracted to your partner it would be hard to keep an intimate relationship totally healthy.

 

[juddy]

I think that each can exist separately, but that to keep a relationship strong for the long term, you need to have at least an element of lust as well as love. I've been with my partner for almost three years and we've always had a really strong emotional and intellectual connection. Our physical connection is something we've had to work a bit harder to maintain but as we become a stronger unit I definitely feel safer giving more of myself physically and our sex life is continuing to get better and better. I think that without at least being physically attracted to your partner it would be hard to keep an intimate relationship totally healthy.

Which was first? I'm guessing the emotional and intellectual connection.

 

[Buk]

I think that each can exist separately, but that to keep a relationship strong for the long term, you need to have at least an element of lust as well as love. I've been with my partner for almost three years and we've always had a really strong emotional and intellectual connection. Our physical connection is something we've had to work a bit harder to maintain but as we become a stronger unit I definitely feel safer giving more of myself physically and our sex life is continuing to get better and better. I think that without at least being physically attracted to your partner it would be hard to keep an intimate relationship totally healthy.

Thanks for your thoughts, Kelly. I agree wholeheartedly with you about having some physical attraction towards your partner (both parties ) to maintain a healthy (emotional and physical) relationship. I believe the perfect combination is some degree of both lust and love, with perhaps the former diminishing a little with age/ length of time with the same partner.

 

[AxeMan]

Good question Buk.

I think they are definitely compatible.

But do they always go together or remain together? Nope. They wax and wane and morph with the vicissitudes of life. It takes much work to nurture and maintain both, whether together or separately.

 

[Buk]

Good question Buk.

I think they are definitely compatible.

But do they always go together or remain together? Nope. They wax and wane and morph with the vicissitudes of life. It takes much work to nurture and maintain both, whether together or separately.

I couldn't agree with you more AxeMan. One, I feel, can only work so hard at trying to maintain both until in the end the frustration of 'enough is enough' is finally taken over by temptation....for some. No easy solution.

 

[Madam Tracey]

Lust comes first....we eat with our eyes. You would need to be somewhat attraceted to a person to take the time to get to know them. I think it unlikely not impossible to get know someone you were not particularly attracted to and then begin to lust them.
I have lusted many and loved few!

 

[Dallas]

Lust comes first....we eat with our eyes. You would need to be somewhat attraceted to a person to take the time to get to know them. I think it unlikely not impossible to get know someone you were not particularly attracted to and then begin to lust them.
I have lusted many and loved few!

This is an excellent comment but what do you do when you get to a certain age and you suddenly discover that either every single female is over weight and smokes or every single male has hair where it shouldn't be, a beer belly and a floppy disk? And if you do bite the bullet and get together with one of them, then sex is either like prodding a jellyfish or being set upon by a hairy beach ball who yells, roll me over and find my valve, it's here somewhere

 

[Buk]

This is an excellent comment but what do you do when you get to a certain age and you suddenly discover that either every single female is over weight and smokes or every single male has hair where it shouldn't be, a beer belly and a floppy disk? And if you do bite the bullet and get together with one of them, then sex is either like prodding a jellyfish or being set upon by a hairy beach ball who yells, roll me over and find my valve, it's here somewhere

Hahaha I love the analogies. SCARY as some aspects sooo true....but none of the above for me, of course!

 

[Madam Tracey]

This is an excellent comment but what do you do when you get to a certain age and you suddenly discover that either every single female is over weight and smokes or every single male has hair where it shouldn't be, a beer belly and a floppy disk? And if you do bite the bullet and get together with one of them, then sex is either like prodding a jellyfish or being set upon by a hairy beach ball who yells, roll me over and find my valve, it's here somewhere

Where are you meeting these people.....they sound frightening.
A fugly will more than likley find another fugly...lust worthy.
I find you tend to attract similar types .....the ones out of my league well I just have school girl crush from afar!
If you are a blob you cant seriosly think some toned stunner is going to lust you...even if you have a fabulous personality...(and lots of money).
I can make eye contact with a person and if the look I give is returned now lust begins....
Without the returned look well my body and mind could not begin to lust.
It all happens in a nano second.

 

[Dallas]

Where are you meeting these people.....they sound frightening.
A fugly will more than likey find another fugly...lust worthy.
I find you tend to attract similar types .....the ones out of my league well I just have school girl crush from afar!
If you are a blob you cant seriosly think some toned stunner is going to lust you...even if you have a fabulous personality...(and lots of money).
I can make eye contact with a person and the look I give is returned now lust begins....
Without the returned look well my body and mind could not begin to lust.
It all happens in a nano second.

I work in a large building with about 800 people in it, mostly women and there are some attractive people around my age, but they are well and truly taken. I probably run, swim, surf (when I'm near the coast) or go to the gym for about 2 hours a day on average so I'm not exactly blobby, but it amazes me the hot women that have blobby partners and at work I hear their woes about their males with low sex function. I mean of course if the guy is 40ish and has poor circulation or is on some meds with ED side effects then he's really gonna struggle. One woman who's 43 asked me the other day, she said is it normal for a guy to lose interest in sex after 40? Did you just lose your interest? And I said, well I sure haven't and I'm nearly 53, but I mentally and physically prepare for sex every day, even though it's highly unlikely that I'll be getting any. Because, the last thing you want is for the opportunity to suddenly be presented and think Crap! my body just isn't ready for this!! or my personal grooming has been left in the 70's or I'll need eight showers and an industrial steamer to rid myself of excess cologne and last nights beer and KFC. I actually think there's a lot of people that still think that sex is something that you do a few times when you're a teenager for fun or, make babies and that's all. There's a guy at work who's 38 and he's told me that he's too old for that now. He said he gave it a go a while ago and he just collapsed on her after a few minutes and he sweated too much. He said it was too much like hard work! If guys are functioning like this, it's no wonder that the lust look isn't going to be taken seriously!

 

[Buk]

I work in a large building with about 800 people in it, mostly women and there are some attractive people around my age, but they are well and truly taken. I probably run, swim, surf (when I'm near the coast) or go to the gym for about 2 hours a day on average so I'm not exactly blobby, but it amazes me the hot women that have blobby partners and at work I hear their woes about their males with low sex function. I mean of course if the guy is 40ish and has poor circulation or is on some meds with ED side effects then he's really gonna struggle. One woman who's 43 asked me the other day, she said is it normal for a guy to lose interest in sex after 40? Did you just lose your interest? And I said, well I sure haven't and I'm nearly 53, but I mentally and physically prepare for sex every day, even though it's highly unlikely that I'll be getting any. Because, the last thing you want is for the opportunity to suddenly be presented and think Crap! my body just isn't ready for this!! or my personal grooming has been left in the 70's or I'll need eight showers and an industrial steamer to rid myself of excess cologne and last nights beer and KFC. I actually think there's a lot of people that still think that sex is something that you do a few times when you're a teenager for fun or, make babies and that's all. There's a guy at work who's 38 and he's told me that he's too old for that now. He said he gave it a go a while ago and he just collapsed on her after a few minutes and he sweated too much. He said it was too much like hard work! If guys are functioning like this, it's no wonder that the lust look isn't going to be taken seriously!

38 and he told you "he's too old for that now". That is sad. Maybe tell him there are ways of sexual fun to have without fear of collapsing in a lather of sweat. (Though I must admit the occasional sweaty experience I have had has been memorable). Maybe he's unfit or is adopting the 'wam-bam-thank you-mam' method which can be rather boring.

 

[Dallas]

38 and he told you "he's too old for that now". That is sad. Maybe tell him there are ways of sexual fun to have without fear of collapsing in a lather of sweat. (Though I must admit the occasional sweaty experience I have had has been memorable). Maybe he's unfit or is adopting the 'wam-bam-thank you-mam' method which can be rather boring.

Good points, my guess is he is both very unfit and also went for the wam bam and put his heart rate over 200 and BP 180/90 etc. random thought, I wonder if w/l's carry a defibrillator ? I did meet a w/l once who was a nurse.. well she said she was and I had been a really naughty patient and had to be punished. Never did find out if I could claim that on Medicare