Am I too harsh?

[Master Yoda]

Of late I opened up my journal and studied my thoughts, feelings, and activities in the last 3 months. And I clearly identify that some of what I do is for the sake of nothing other than my affection and liking of some people in my life. Yet I am doing them no real favours and they are clearly holding me back in the time and energy spent on them.

I have already eliminated some from my life as they do not empower me and do not really need me. This hurts as some are people I adore. Nevertheless restricting growth and progress is out of the question.


Am I being too harsh?

 

[colzilla]

Lord Yoda The Empire need$ more people like you.

 

[Master Yoda]

If you are pointing toward people who can do this with a smile. I am not one of those bro..

 

[colzilla]

Not to sure what you mean.

Got to get rid of the dead wood Lord Yoda. F##k them off and don't look back.

 

[Master Yoda]

There's no dead wood in my life bro.

Just people that need to be moved on and find there own way.

 

[Al Swearengen]

You have to ask yourself: Why do you require people to need you & empower you?
If you adore them, isnt that enough?

 

[Master Yoda]

Good question. THe questions I ask are: Are they what I represent? And will there presence move me towards me goal or hinder me?

Sometimes their presence feels good. But causes me to be unintegral to myself.

And as to them needing me......I meant that in a way that my presence really serves them no real purpose other than that of amusement or convenience.

 

[Al Swearengen]

Why do you need your friends to be what you represent? Don't YOU represent YOU enough?
Many of my friends are polar opposites to me. That's WHY their my friends: They provide something I DON'T have. Why do you think I'm interested in women?? They have certain parts I don't have
You have a goal for friends? Friends have to assist you with YOUR goals? Aren't they YOUR goals?
(Its impossible to be "unintegral" to yourself. You are integral to yourself)

 

[Al Swearengen]

Oh before I forget Yoda: Don't take anything I say here too personally. I'm good naturedly playing Devils Advocate

 

[Master Yoda]

All good Al


Everyone is free to represent whatever they choose.

It was hard to point this out at first. The few people I silently refer to are more than friends. One in particular. They are close enough to alter my outcome. And keeping them or letting them go will ake a difference.

 

[svengali]

Ah Yoda,

Methinks you think too much.

Friendship is something which cannot be analysed and subjected to a cost/benefit analysis like a business decision.

People come into our lives every day. Some touch us briefly and the encounter is forgotten as soon as it is over. The pretty girl who gives you a dazzling smile to go with your morning coffee is one of these.Then there are those who we must interact with regularly and, of necessity, form a kind of low-key affection for them .

The deeper friendships are few in my experience but these are the people you would help out come what may and know that they would do the same for you. They are the specks of gold that you move a mountain of ore to find.

Finally, we have the "friend" who inveigles him/herself into your inner circle for his/her own gain and this is the one who needs to be cut out or have his/her access to you restricted. Their needs may be emotional or material but either way they take more than they give and if you are not careful they will drag you down.

There is no need to be brutal about it but, certainly, you need to keep your own needs in mind in deciding how much help you are prepared to extend to them. You also do them no favours by encouraging dependency.

 

[Master Yoda]

Thank you Svengali...

Your last 2 paragraphs hit the nail on the head. Dependency is going to be no good for the other party. And my growing attachment is of no good to me when it is displacing the balance required to function at an effective level.

I have addressed a few of these very dear individuals. Responses are pending. And I'll share thr essence of these responses.

The last time I allowed mysef to let one of these encounters get out of control 4.5 years ago.......it brought me to hell and back. And the cost to my life is more than I m willing to bear again.

 

[colzilla]

The deeper friendships are few in my experience but these are the people you would help out come what may and know that they would do the same for you. They are the specks of gold that you move a mountain of ore to find.

So true Mr Sven true friends are hard to fine. If you reach old age and can count on one hand the true friends you have met in a lifetime... you'd be doing well.

No need for friends though if you are perfect in every way and Mr Ca$h has your back.

 

[Langtrees VIP Perth 3]

Sometimes we need to reflect on our own goals and values. Live true to yourself xx

 

[Master Yoda]

So far responses have been according. Except for one.

There is one great girl I have a semi plutonic friendship with.

She seems to just plod along after i addressed this quite deeply. I'll just take it as her needing time and space to digest what I laid down.

 

[Langtrees VIP 6]

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
​

 

[colzilla]

Is that your spit roasted lady friend Lord Yoda?

 

[homer]

Don't be too harsh on yerself bro, you only have 2 heads 2 hands, 2 legs, a pair of balls. You just can't be everywhere and be everything for everyone. It makes one wanna fly over cuckoo's nest.
Some friends need to stay just friends, anything more is just for each other's benefit. No interest accrued there.

Sometimes you just have to get a chalk and draw a line on the floor and ask them ladies who are less significant to stand on one side and you stand on the other, makes for clearer vision.

 

[Master Yoda]

Lol Col. She don't get to stay

 

[colzilla]

$ounds like you're wiping the slate clean.

Hope there's still room for your cyber pal Col?

 

[Master Yoda]

Of course Sire

 

[colzilla]

That's a relief.

Shame to lose the $pit roast girl though.

 

[Al Swearengen]

It surely is Col. My ex wife's ex best friend celebrated finishing high school with a celebratory spit roast. She used to be quite the filthy little thing. Unfortunately we've lost her to Jesus.

 

[colzilla]

What end of the spit roast was Jesus?

 

[Rochelle]

There's no dead wood in my life bro.

Just people that need to be moved on and find there own way.

And who is the judge of when why and how people have to be moved? People come and go. I try not to hold on to people. If there is a mutual interest in a lasting friendship or a mutual beneficial what ever sort of relation ship it will move itself.

 

[wr3xr]

It surely is Col. My ex wife's ex best friend celebrated finishing high school with a celebratory spit roast. She used to be quite the filthy little thing. Unfortunately we've lost her to Jesus.

Not quiet.... my mate goes to this born again church with alot of ex dancers, wl, etc etc and he reckons they are still well and truely DTF.

I'm convinced he's only there for one reason

 

[happyguy]

Yoda, we all have to make a decision in life and only time will tell whether it's good or bad. Either way, we will be better man through experience irrespective of an outcome.

 

[Master Yoda]

And who is the judge of when why and how people have to be moved? People come and go. I try not to hold on to people. If there is a mutual interest in a lasting friendship or a mutual beneficial what ever sort of relation ship it will move itself.

I agree. If everything was mutual and balanced, things are better left to take their course. However one friendship in particular is hurting and hindering me the way it is. That is why I chose to cut that cord. And the cut is hurting for the short term. Yet it has to be done.

Yoda, we all have to make a decision in life and only time will tell whether it's good or bad. Either way, we will be better man through experience irrespective of an outcome.

True....I am working hard to let go of the concepts of good and bad. And also being unattached to the outcome. And the experience will only leave me more rich in experience. This hard decision is stinging right now. But to be too weak to leave a sinking ship would be a lot worse.

 

[colzilla]

Not quiet.... my mate goes to this born again church with alot of ex dancers, wl, etc etc and he reckons they are still well and truely DTF.

I'm convinced he's only there for one reason

I've been told the church is the be$t place to pick up women.

 

[homer]

I've been told the church is the be$t place to pick up women.

Really? And I thought people go there to pray hard and are extremely nice to each other while there. I better start going then, Hallelujah.